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Relatively good, absolutely bad

The good news is that we saw a gestational sac via ultrasound today. The bad news is that it's much smaller than it should be at this point. (It should be at 10 mm by now, and mine is only 5.)

So the good news is only relatively good: it just means that we can pretty much rule out an ectopic. Indeed, the doctor stirred the ultrasound wand enough to check out my tubes and ovaries, and they appear to be normal, with no fluid masses.

The bad news, however, remains absolutely bad. This is not a viable pregnancy. I asked my doctor if the sac could somehow catch up to where it needed to be. Because he is a kind man, he gave the appearance of considering it, but finally had to say, "I would be shocked."

This is what we expected to hear after the appalling lag last week in my hCG levels. But expecting bad news doesn't make it any easier to take when it's delivered at last; it just makes it easier not to look like you've been kicked in the gut.