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05/26/2003
It's the drugs, I swear
In four days I start Lupron. In my mind, though, the cycle is already well underway. I'm already wound more tightly than...than...some excessively tightly wound thing...and obviously already suffering from the breathtaking cognitive lapses that plagued me last time.
Last time around, nobody told me that the worst side effect from all my medication would be that I'd lose my fucking mind. The drugs really should come with a warning label: While using this drug, patients should not operate heavy machinery. Or shower.
A quick flip through my journal reminds me that not only did I take the car up two one-way streets, jumped the curb at least twice, burned myself on the iron, nicked my hands with a chef's knife, grated my thumb into a pile of Parmesan cheese, and set off the smoke alarm so often it sounded like we were at DEFCON 2, I also apparently forgot how to use toiletries.
The documentary evidence seems to show that one morning in the shower, I shampooed my hair as usual, rinsed it, and picked up the conditioner...which I then dispensed into my hand and proceeded to rub all over my body. I couldn't figure out why it wouldn't lather.
Five minutes later, I applied hair product to my face, for that bouncy, manageable look that turns heads on the street.
"And I can't be sure," I wrote on February 21, "but I have the strong aroma suspicion that I applied deodorant only to one (1) armpit."
Comments (7)
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You seriously crack me up with each journal entry. You brighten up my pathetic little world. Thankyou for being so honest..
If it makes you feel any better, a lot of us trying to get and then those who have just become pregnant act JUST as crazy without the drugs. You're keeping me laughing. Hang in there.
OMG, I am reading this and laughing and crying at the same time.
No, not because I'm sad. Because I just failed my 2nd IVF and am just a little hyperstimulated and in pain. So it hurts to laugh. Dammit.
ROTFLMAO!!! OMG, you are such an amazingly articulate and funny writer! I have just found your blog today and am reading from the begining of your story, but I just had to say that post got me laughing out loud at the office!
I hate you for making me laugh when I just had the painful egg retrieval.......
I found your blog when I was on WebMD the other day... I'm 20 and was diagnosed with Crohn's disease about 2 months ago, but before that (and since then, too) I've had the emotional ups and downs and weird side effects from medication, etcetera... I was laughing hysterically when I read this entry! It's funny how those sorts of things seem so rational at the time, and then you look back on them and wonder how in the world you could do something like that. : )
thankyou - this post made me laugh, and i needed that :)