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06/20/2003
Day 9: Limboland
Still stuck in limbo, as nothing truly definitive occurred at this morning's appointment. I appear to have 4 good follicles on the left, plus the big bad one, and 1 good one on the right. I've dodged cancellation for the moment. That's the good news. The bad news is that we can't guarantee that the big one won't cause me to ovulate before retrieval. It's a risk.
I grilled my doctor on whether he thinks we could do better on another cycle (ignoring for the moment the dominant follicle, which he said might be the result of the lower dose of Lupron but could also just be a random occurrence). Answer? Unknown. Based on my first cycle, it seems my ovaries respond slowly, but we don't really have enough information to assume any kind of overarching pattern.
Lazy and unforthcoming. Me all over, really — I should be pleased that my ovaries aren't trying to buck the trend.
So if the other follicles continue to grow, and if the big one doesn't cause ovulation before retrieval, and if I don't do a half-gainer off a building before then, I guess we'll just keep plugging along until the path becomes more clear. Let the hormonal rages commence.
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This stress is one I didn't see coming. You're all set to start your ivf cycle but wait, maybe not? I have just had my transfer today but when I found out from my doctor that yes, we are doing this! I hung up and cried and cried in the bathroom - I could not stop. It was just such a relief and all the emotions I'd been suppressing unknowingly just burst out.