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08/04/2003

Start spreading the news

Paul and I had a number of long and thoughtful discussions about whether to tell anyone about this pregnancy before the traditional twelve-week mark. (Paul: "Do you think we should maybe wait...?" Julie: "NO." End of conversation.) The incidence of miscarriage drops significantly after seeing a heartbeat on ultrasound — down to between 5 and 10%, depending on which sources you believe. It's still no guarantee. But since I only got about five minutes' worth of happiness out of my first pregnancy, I am determined to milk this one for all the pleasure it's worth.

We decided to tell my parents. My dad's birthday is coming up. Since we happen to be visiting them, along with some other gifts we gave him a printout of our latest ultrasound picture. He and my mom were visibly pleased. The rest of the weekend we talked about my pregnancy, how huge I'll be when they see me at Christmas, how I'd better have more dinner since I'm eating for two. ("Actually, Dad, I'm so hungry it feels like I'm eating for five.")

I know we're not out of the woods yet, but it doesn't seem like a bad idea to tell a select few. My rule of thumb: I only want to tell those whose support I'd want in the event of miscarriage. And I think I can count on my mother, who had four losses of her own. ("Wow, I never knew." "Sure. Why do you think your brother was born so long after you were?" "Um, well, I guess I always thought maybe you'd lost your mind entirely.")

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