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11/30/2003

Did you know "Pocahontas" means "little wanton"?

Squanto almost blew it.

Squanto was "too tired" to do his urgent diplomatic duty on Wednesday night. (One assumes Squanto has spent entirely too much time lately dropping herring into corn holes — wrong kind of fertilization, dude.)

As a result, Pilgro-Indianianianian relations hit a new low Wednesday night, beginning the period of civil unrest now known to historians as the Long Sulk.

The next night, however, Squanto put aside his alewives, girded his loins, and manfully stepped into the breach. Harmony was restored once more, if triumphant yodeling can be said to be harmonious.

The initial pact of mutual goodwill was vigorously cemented the next night, and a calm and sleepy soreness prevailed throughout this good land.

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