Wanted: new best friend
Today I was talking on the phone to my best friend. (How second grade is it that I actually have a "best friend"?) I was telling her we were planning a trip to New York to talk to some other doctors. The following is a faithful transcription of the remainder of the conversation.
Julie: Nah, I think we're just going to zip in and out. The day's festivities will include a thorough vaginal reaming, so I'm pretty sure my hairdo will be the least of my concerns.
Friend: Are you kidding? Listen, it's like having sex during ovulation: If you're going to be doing it anyway, you might as well have fun while you're there!
Julie: [shocked pause] Uh, so, um, how many times have you had sex during ovulation for the express purpose of baby-making?
Friend: Well... [embarrassed pause] Twice.
[She has two children. You do the math.]
Julie: So let's assume it's fun twice. Hold on a second while I crunch the numbers... Okay. I have had sex during ovulation approximately...120 times. That's not counting the months I was too depressed to try at all. And I admit it: the first two times were fun. It's the last 118 that sucked.
It must be awful to be my best friend.