Spent too much time dicking around online: -1
When my friends want to comfort me, they tell me, "You'll be a great mother." The unspoken "...someday" doesn't bother me. I prefer to focus instead on the affirmation, the confidence that I might not ruin my children beyond repair. Not immediately upon returning from the hospital after their birth, anyway.
Because, see, I have my doubts. At bedrock I'm a very selfish person. I have moments of breathtaking irresponsibility. I care too little about what other people think, especially important people, especially authority figures. I'm careless about money. I still call my brother names, and I don't like to share.
I seldom floss.
Sometimes I try to look objectively at my fitness to be a parent. Some days are better than others. Today, so far, I appear to be coming out ahead.
|When awakened by the hungry cat, grouchily swatted him away, muttering, "Jackass, you can wait."||-5|
|Remembered not to use all of the hot water, conserving it for Paul’s shower||+7|
|Added to hot water reserves by flushing toilet during Paul’s shower||-2|
|Successfully soothed scalded husband, avoiding an inconvenient trip to the emergency room||+6|
|Put on yesterday’s clothes again today because, hey, I didn’t sweat much||-1|
|Carefully separated lights from darks before loading the washer||+3|
|Missed a red dish towel||-3|
|Did not rebleach the load, deciding that wearing pink underpants would not significantly undermine Paul’s masculinity||-2|
|Baked a batch of brownies just because Paul hadn’t had a treat lately||+6|
|Surveying the chocolate supply, said, "Fuck it," and used the Callebaut||+8|
|Said "Fuck it" aloud||-1|
|Ate breakfast, the most important meal of the day||+2|
|It was brownies…||-1|
|Four of them.||-3|
|Upon receiving new school pictures of every child I know, mounted them dutifully on the refrigerator||+3|
|Tossed the older pictures in the garbage instead of lovingly preserving them in acid-free lightproof boxes||-1|
|Paid the monthly bills….||+2|
|December’s monthly bills||-5|
|Swigged deeply from the week-old bottle of wine on the counter before tipping the remainder down the drain||-3|
|Had a week-old bottle of wine on the counter to begin with||-3|
However, I cannot say what the rest of the day will bring. Every moment is ripe with possibility.