It's a date

Subject to change based on the now-predictable perversities of my body, here is what the dates for our next IVF cycle look like:

4/1: Start birth control pills

4/2: Endure rising nausea, epic bloat, and Vesuvian facial eruptions

4/8: Buy new jeans to accommodate newly expanded abdomen

4/10: Begin wearing new jeans unbuttoned

4/14: Invite Paul to take placebos from the pill package as a gesture of solidarity

4/16: Finally stop pouting at his disgraceful lack of cooperative teamwork

4/17: Start Lupron

4/19: First skull-shattering headache

4/20: Fifteenth banshee meltdown

4/21: Paul considers divorce

4/22: Paul strongly considers divorce

4/23: Julie drives Paul to drink

4/24: Still considering divorce, Paul finds he is too inebriated from his two-day bender to dial attorney's number

4/25: Julie drives Paul to program attorney's number into speed-dial, labeling the button, "Scary, Scary Wife"

4/26: Baseline ultrasound and bloodwork

4/27: Start gonadotropin injections

4/28: Julie drives Paul to hole up in the basement for the duration with a sleeping bag, a chamber pot, and a flare gun for emergencies

4/30: Arrive in New York, leaving Paul to recover alone

5/1: Paul emerges, relieved, from his bunker of solitude

5/1: First morning monitoring

Posted by Julie at 11:22:34 AM in Notes from astride the stirrups

Comments

It's a date

Subject to change based on the now-predictable perversities of my body, here is what the dates for our next IVF cycle look like:

4/1: Start birth control pills

4/2: Endure rising nausea, epic bloat, and Vesuvian facial eruptions

4/8: Buy new jeans to accommodate newly expanded abdomen

4/10: Begin wearing new jeans unbuttoned

4/14: Invite Paul to take placebos from the pill package as a gesture of solidarity

4/16: Finally stop pouting at his disgraceful lack of cooperative teamwork

4/17: Start Lupron

4/19: First skull-shattering headache

4/20: Fifteenth banshee meltdown

4/21: Paul considers divorce

4/22: Paul strongly considers divorce

4/23: Julie drives Paul to drink

4/24: Still considering divorce, Paul finds he is too inebriated from his two-day bender to dial attorney's number

4/25: Julie drives Paul to program attorney's number into speed-dial, labeling the button, "Scary, Scary Wife"

4/26: Baseline ultrasound and bloodwork

4/27: Start gonadotropin injections

4/28: Julie drives Paul to hole up in the basement for the duration with a sleeping bag, a chamber pot, and a flare gun for emergencies

4/30: Arrive in New York, leaving Paul to recover alone

5/1: Paul emerges, relieved, from his bunker of solitude

5/1: First morning monitoring