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03/26/2004
It's the thought that counts
Please enjoy some greeting cards for the rest of us.
Comments (44)
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Woman, I just ruined my couch. See, you made me laugh so hard that I peed all over it. I bow to the master, you are brilliant.
OMG! Too perfect. We should go into business, we'd make a bundle.
I am crying and laughing and my emotions are so strong right now in ALL directions that I just can't take it.
I needed this today - and I KNOW these are just for me ;).
THANK YOU!!!!
I am glad I was wearing a pad. When are these hitting the stores? Can I order a dozen of the "helpful Advice" cards?
I'll take a gross of each.
Two gross of the one with the eerily shorn man-junk.
I kneel before you, Genius Woman.
Effing, brilliant. I hope it's okay that I saved the "Advice" card on my desktop. If not, let me know! Thank you!!!!
You are brilliant.
Thanks for using your creativity to help us out.
Jo, Paul will be pleased that you appreciated his well-groomed package.
Glad y'all laughed. Suggest your own ideas!
Hysterical! My favorite was actually "you may want to wait before painting the nursery" as I just spent some time with presumptuous people who are planning their child's birthday to complement the birthdays of other family members. Ugh.
I loved the one about how slimming my track marks are, although I must admit that just the sight of a butterfly needle made my veins seize in panic.
Ahhh hahahahahahaha!
(Weeps bitterly.)
That is HYSTERICAL.
I wish my husband was waxed like that! I've blog rolled you (hope that's okay, if that's even what it's called).
Have I mentioned lately how I worship the ground upon which you tread?
I'm sending this link to all my relatives and friends - devine retribution for the kiddie photos that keep coming in the mail.
Julie, are you serious? Did we really get to see your hubby's family jewels there? If so, cool! How is it so well-shaven? You did it, didn't you?
No, no, no, no, no: that is not, in fact, the husbandly tackle.
Wow, I actually just died.
I was reading my personal favorite ('It took us six months with #3' - oh hey, do have anything in an "I know you just lost a baby, but it is selfish of you not to be happy for us?" I could put a bakers dozen in an Easter basket for my sister-in-law) and all of the sudden my vision tunneled and there was a white light and God was saying something like Ha Ha and I realized that I had actually EXPLODED with mirth.
Whew. I'll miss ya, pumpkins.
Ooohhh... I will get such use out of these. Everytime someone says something stupid, I'm going to send them that link. I haven't loved something this much since the first time I tried Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby.
I think I just laughed my spleen out. Maybe if we baked cookies for the embryos?
You are the MASTER!!! nuff said
wait, one more thing....it will take forever to get that man junk vision out of my head.
I am still sitting here with a stupid grin on my face.
I adore them! I swear I'm going to use the advice one on my site somehow! ;-)
Just got back from my IUI and needed a pick-up; and oddly enough, these provided it in spades :). Put me in for a gross of "I Know Just How You Feel" and a side order of "Thanks For the Helpful Advice."
Julie -- Abso-fucking-lutely brilliant greeting cards! Where the hell did you get such appropriate stock photos? I loved the one about waiting before painting the nursery w/ the cute couple scrutinizing blue paint chips against the white wall.
Twizzle
Monica says:
"I haven't loved something this much since the first time I tried Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby."
And now you've nearly seen Julie's Hubby's Chubby.
Okay, now I am incontinent from laughter.
OH Jesus Christ I am laughing so hard I can't breathe.
As usual, BRILLIANT. Abso-fucking-lutely brilliant.
I love this site.
Will you all hold me?
Except you, chubby guy!
How about a "you want kids? Take MINE!" (image of bratty urchins with squinched up faces making obscene gestures) card?
Or a "we would have adopted... IF HELL HAD FROZEN OVER! HA HA HA!!" (image of blonde couple with four tow-head children lined up in size order)
Well, I love you. You're a little scary, but I've always been attracted to people who scare me a little.
Mollie, I scare myself, and that's the God's honest truth.
Well they'll make a nice change from the usual Easter cards.
Julie, as usual, I am abso-fucking-lutely enormously knicker-wettingly impressed.
Thank you.
Oh man, I was hoping... I woulda shared a picture of my own hubby's even though he'n not shaven. But now that I know the truth, I'm not sharing ;oP
Anyway..... Thanks for the enormous laughs. Thank the HEAVENS it's friday.
Excellent work Julie....I have a friend at Hallmark who will simply die for these. Ladies, watch your local stores as I'm anticipating these cards to be a huge hit.
You're uber fab lady!
I would appreciate two dozen each of "I know how you feel" and "thanks for the advice". I know just the people to send those to.
You are brilliant. I heart you.
Holy shit Julie. I hpe you don't mind that I linked to you. I haven't smiled like that in a long time.
Fuck, these were good. You are insane! I. ADORE. you.
tres brilliant! If it wouldn't be damning with faint praise, I'd say 'it made me pee my pants,' but unhappily that is not as high a bar as I would like--how about 'my nostrils flared so much I got facial cramps'? xox
All I can say is .....wow! How do you do this??
Husband was looking over my shoulder as I scrolled through and was like "Hey, looks like me!".....LOL!
Laura
Hahahahahaha, you made my day. You're a genius!
Julie,
You are a bona-fide genius. May you live forever so that future geneations may be graced by your wit and wisdom.
Shit, I laughed so hard and SO loud (at my new job of 3 weeks)that I got a muscle spasm in my back. Hell, it was worth it!! I really needed a laugh like this. I really did. Now, I must try and get hold of my RE's email address.......I linked you in an email to all my friends. They will LOVE me for this.
Um, I'd just like to WATCH my husband getting waxed like that. (I imagine the scrotum wax would be nightmarish..heh heh heh)Then I'd like to watch him squirm when he gets re-growth. ( he is very anal about MY regular leg & arm wax.....)I forwarded them to him as well..... I will update later on his comment.
I willingly join the legion bowing at your feet. *kiss kiss*
Cyn
I was so busy packing up, I missed this post the day it came out. But this morning, when I am exhausted beyond belief, this made me laugh harder than anything in the last 6 weeks!!!! Also, since I have a gift store and know a lot of people in the independant cards market, I have forwarded the URL to a few people in the know. Don't be surprised if they come calling!!!!
I do think you should set up a way to personalize these... These are REALLY good.
Wish I had them when we were going through IF! The advice one is priceless!!!!
Those are incredible! I liked the one with "A couple friends went to Italy..." Reminds me of the midwife who told me that all I needed was a bottle of wine and some candles. Okay, whatever fertile wench with 6 kids!
Great job!... these are too funny! Put these in the store and you'd make a fortune!
Ok, this is too funny. I've been reading your site, but not that long. I came across this post because I was googling for a card for my friend, who just found out her first round of IVF didn't take. I really am at a loss for words and was hoping there'd be a card out there for the occasion. Thanks for your suggestions!