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Shortest ART cycle ever

Tuesday afternoon

12:54:00 Detect first signs of menstrual blood.
12:54:02 Call clinic to schedule appointment for Wednesday morning.

Tuesday night

10:46-11:09 Parboil self in hot bath in an attempt to ease cramps.
11:09:16 Swallow two Tylenol 3s in an attempt to drug self into oblivion.
11:10-12:19 Toss and turn in bed, sleepless and hurting.
12:20-12:42 Complete boiling of self in a longer, more scalding bath.
12:43-01:17 Lie in bed and fantasize about menopause.
01:17:01 Mutter, "Fuck this," and swallow a handful of ibuprofen.
Sometime after 02:00 Fall asleep and dream of Turkish prison beatings.

Wednesday morning

07:30:00 Scrape self out of bed.
07:31-08:45 Shower, dress, drive to clinic in an exhausted fugue state.
08:45-09:11 Enjoy parade of cute couples arriving for their first injection class.
09:12-09:15 Give blood, swap clothing for drape, assume the position.
09:16 "Ooh, that's a showstopper there, that cyst on your right ovary."
09:16:02 Blink back tears, wonder exactly how big 19 mm is in real numbers.
09:22 Leave clinic, unlikely to return.