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04/26/2004
Calendars are for squares
Tonight I told my mom that next week I'd be in New York. "When are you going?" Well, I don't know. "When will you be back?" Don't know that, either. In telling her, it suddenly hit me: for the rest of this cycle, no date is certain.
I took my last birth control pill this morning. Everything that happens from now on depends upon the caprice of my body rather than on the tidy, predictable squares of the calendar.
When will my period start? Could be two days. Could be three. I must gird my loins, grit my teeth, and wait for bleeding to start.
When will I start the injectables? Should be a few days after my period, but could be delayed if I'm not sufficiently suppressed.
When will I have retrieval, if I make it that far? In the past I've been on meds for 11 to 12 days. This time, we're triggering earlier, so I don't know what to count on.
When will transfer be? Will there even be a transfer?
If I don't get pregnant, will I make it to my scheduled beta date before my period arrives?
If I do get pregnant, will the embryo develop according to desired milestones? Will we see what we need to, when?
And so on.
My hotel reservations are in flux. I've made no social plans there or here. I can't even buy a plane ticket because I don't know when I'll need to show up for monitoring.
Anyone want to buy a PDA, cheap? I'm pretty sure I won't be needing it.
