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After the tour, please consider a visit to the gift shop.

In my zeal to document my experience here, I've taken some photos of where I'm spending a fair amount of time these days. I realize that taking a camera into the clinic is, ah, iffy, but I've taken no photos of the waiting room, for obvious reasons — even I have more sense than that — and no photos of anyone other than myself. I promise!

bathroom-1Here is the bathroom, site of many an eager bladder-emptying. Today I am wearing clingy pants without pockets; there was therefore no covert acquisition of sanitary supplies. Put in your requests and tomorrow I will wear cargo pants and a trenchcoat.

exam-1This is the exam room where I open wide and say, "Ahh." Please note that the stirrup covers have been turned inside out, thanks to my efforts on Saturday; may I also direct your attention to the long probe on the right of the ultrasound machine, crowned with a glob of gel and a condom (Trojan, plain, per the red wrappers just below)?

exam-2Finally I offer you a girl's-eye view from the table. I will leave as an exercise for the reader the imagined imposition of a face between my outstretched thighs.

Now if you'll just step to your left, the tour continues to the hotel room, where we'll see a collection of used needles dating back to the Bronze Age, and a display of intriguing chocolate-related artifacts whose exact purpose remains as yet unknown.