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06/17/2004

Still loving Tertia, though she clearly hates me

AIM IM with Tertia
4:52 AM

Tertia: so how are you feeling today? little less paranoid and insane?
Julie: MUCH less paranoid and insane. god, that was ROUGH.
Tertia: mini breakdown?
Julie: yeah, pretty much. the minute i saw the blood last week, i knew i was in for it with respect to insanity.
Julie: i couldn't wait one more fucking day for a scan.
Julie: how weak is that?
Tertia: you are pathetically weak and immature
Julie: i am weak like veal.
Tertia: and now? no more blood?
Julie: nope, not a scrap.
Tertia: how are boobs now?
Julie: acceptably sore, but not as bad as i'd like.
Tertia: no pukey feeling yet?
Tertia: you probably wont get ms you stupid slut
Tertia: will have to hate you


Tertia: my mother has this 'friend' who is very lordy (also v v odd)
Tertia: so this woman knocks on my door and asks if she can pray for me, never met her before
Tertia: so i feel too bad to say no, so she comes in my house and we sit down and she holds my hand and prays for me
Tertia: marko sniggering around the corner
Tertia: told him i was going to tell her to pray for him, he told me he would tell her to fuck off
Tertia: i feel too bad to say no to her, scared I am going to piss god off
Julie: i am laughing, laughing, laughing.
Tertia: told marko i was going to blame it on him, tell her that he says she may not come around
Tertia: he says no, what if she makes a voodoo doll out of him and stick pins in him
Tertia: so now we have a praying person praying on us
Tertia: can't get rid of her
Tertia: the other day we hid away and pretended not to be home


Julie: are you eating differently/better/crappier?
Tertia: more, and more often. have to eat and make sure tummy is never empty, cos empty tummy makes me v v sick, like retching sick.
Tertia: also try to eat protein more often, which i never normally do
Tertia: not a big meat eater
Julie: EAT MORE IBEX
Tertia: i did, i swallowed a whole one
Julie: i hope the horns and hooves didn't get stuck in your craw.
Tertia: no, but they hurt when coming out the other end


Tertia: my doctor's not that handsome but I have to think our relationship is meaningful or else I will just feel cheap
Julie: yes, i am sure my doctor and i have a deep and enduring relationship.
Julie: based on mutual respect, caring, and frequent visits to my cooter.


Tertia: lately you have been very unreliable about being online, might have to break up with you
Julie: like you could find another friend.
Julie: you're lucky i give you the time of day.


Julie: i made an ass out of myself in the waiting room the other day.
Julie: no surprise there, really.
Tertia: no suprise at all
Julie: there was this couple waiting. she went to the bathroom. when she came out, he had gone back to the exam rooms already.
Julie: i thought they were just there for an ultrasound or something...nice of him to come along...
Julie: so when she came back i told her, "your husband went back already," so she could go ahead and join him.
Julie: "i don't need to be there," she told me.
Julie: turns out he was wanking.
Tertia: OH NO
Julie: note to self: don't help. ever.


Julie: you are very superficial.
Tertia: i am
Tertia: its becuase i am so good looking
Julie: you are!
Julie: you're gorgeous.
Tertia: i can afford to have no personality
Tertia: dont need one
Julie: a personality only slows you down, really.
Tertia: am not gorgeous
Julie: well, you have a body that won't quit.
Tertia: well, maybe that. only cause i starve myself
Julie: i indulge myself and it shows. am curvy. small waist but huge rack and wide hips.
Julie: i am much woman.
Tertia: ah, but you have perfect woman shape
Julie: i do.
Julie: sexy earth mother type.
Tertia: just barren
Julie: a minor inconvenience, barrenness.
Julie: why, it's barely slowed me down at all.
Tertia: from the outside you look good
Tertia: actually false advertising
Tertia: paul should sue
Tertia: ask for his money back


Julie: i'm like one of those predatory insects.
Julie: you know, those bugs that LOOK like an innocent leaf...but then another bug lands on the branch, and then WHAMMO.
Tertia: i know, i'm scared of you
Julie: it is right that you be scared of me.
Julie: i am one scary muthafucka.
Tertia: in da hood
Julie: word to your lovely mother.


Julie: are you hoping for twins still, or on the fence?
Tertia: now not sure any more
Julie: a singleton would be a much easier pregnancy. no stupid-ass bedrest.
Julie: either way, you win.
Tertia: so kind of more at ease
Tertia: yes
Tertia: as long as there is one
Julie: aw, there will be. i am sure of it.
Julie: i mean, i can't guarantee it -- am not god, even though i feel like it sometimes...
Tertia: and you act like it
Julie: shut up or i'll smite you.


Julie: everyone kisses your ass.
Julie: i love it.
Tertia: sometimes
Julie: you are like the queen.
Tertia: i know. kiss my ring
Tertia: ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Tertia: not that ring


Tertia: ate a piece of bacon now, feel like vomiting, poor babe.
Julie: your baby hates bacon, you child abuser.
Tertia: wait, just remembered have liquorice in cupboard, yay
Julie: licorice and bacon. a fine snack.
Tertia: with avo and feta
Tertia: but first pasta salad
Tertia: and dried mango
Tertia: a lite snack
Tertia: am not pig, oh no
Tertia: oink
Julie: hairy sow.
Tertia: not hairy. have almost no body hair
Julie: lucky. i have pubic hair that extends from sea to shining sea.
Julie: cannot wear a bathing suit.
Julie: i was thinking if we went donor egg i'd ask to see the bikini line of every potential donor.
Tertia: just shave it asshole
Julie: no, if i shave it i get these horrible red bumps and an ugly rash.
Julie: very sensitive skin.
Julie: same with waxing.
Tertia: so you leave it hairy? v scary
Julie: i do. it's scary. but not as scary as STUBBLE.
Tertia: how does the dr find any thing in there?
Julie: sense of touch.
Tertia: good thing
Tertia: better than sense of smell


Tertia: do you know you can get toilet freshener in an 'ocean' fragrance? who would want their toilet to smell like fish?
Julie: i want my toilet to smell like precisely NOTHING.
Tertia: exactly
Tertia: never have toilet freshner
Tertia: must tell you embarrasing story
Tertia: used to have one girl working for me who was a little slutty, ok very slutty, bright red lips, bleached hair etc. anyway, one day she came to work and i did n't see her behind me so i shouted out, 'who has sprayed that damn toilet freshener again?' it was her perfume
Tertia: oops


Tertia: hurry up monday
Tertia: is it monday yet?
Julie: i don't know. which side of the date line are you on?
Julie: is it christmas there?
Tertia: easter
Julie: motherfuck, i always get that wrong.


Julie: the other day the doctor had the wand lodged cooterward...
Julie: and we were talking about when we might see a heartbeat.
Julie: and he said something about "...hope and pray."
Julie: then he paused, and said, "...or whatever spiritual expression most closely conforms to your personal worldview."
Julie: i could NOT stop laughing.
Tertia: new age dude
Julie: big guffaws.
Julie: i practically shot the wand across the room.
Julie: i think he was embarrassed.
Julie: he said, "well, i don't know! you could be a buddhist."
Tertia: sweet of him
Julie: "or," i said, " a satanist."
Tertia: bad of you to laugh at him
Julie: so bad.
Tertia: bad girl
Julie: spank me.
Julie: i've been a very naughty pregnant lady.
Tertia: no thank, you have hairy bush
Tertia: scared of you
Julie: i am the wild woman of borneo.
Tertia: afro down there
Tertia: like lionel richie
Julie: truly.
Tertia: 80's music playing in the background
Tertia: dancing on the ceiling
Julie: SHUT UP.
Tertia: towelling sweatband in pubic area
Julie: shut up. now i am deeply ashamed of the way god made me.
Tertia: you should be. and dont blame god
Tertia: he gave you wax and razors
Julie: you are a very mean, small person.
Julie: weeping.
Tertia: me still laughing and pointing
Tertia: not caring if you are weeping

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