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07/02/2004
Note to Paul: Warm the speculum.
I have spent some time considering the question of selecting an obstetrician — more time than the situation strictly warrants, given how few choices I truly have. Here are my options:
- OB/GYN practice affiliated with local hospital. I have something of a history with this practice, since it was they who initially referred me for fertility treatment. They have performed upon me a grand total of two Pap smears, one excruciatingly painful IUI, and one excruciatingly painfuller HSG.
My doctor of record at this practice is, well, a prick. My last encounter with him was before this last cycle, when I needed some cervical cultures done. He asked a few questions about my treatment thus far; apparently my answers annoyed him because he finally sighed dismissively, rolled his eyes, and said, "You know what? I'm just going to shut up and do the swabs." Do, thought I, bracing myself for the onslaught.
I object to being treated by him. There are other doctors in the practice and a whole mess of midwives, so I probably shouldn't rule out the entire practice, but since my every encounter with the office staff has been, oh, infuriating, I am not inclined to give them further consideration. They have lost my test results, then failed to send them to other doctors when asked, then refused to give them to me without an immense amount of static. ("No, in fact, the doctor does not have to give his consent for me to have them. They are my property, so go eat a bag of dicks and get me my records.")
I have, uh, problems with this practice.
Unfortunately, they seem to be the only game in town. The hospital itself, with which they are affiliated, is approximately ten minutes away from my house. This is an enormous advantage when we consider that I'll be delivering in February in New England. So I mastered my revulsion and called for an appointment.
They can see me in three weeks. "I wish you'd called earlier," the receptionist said in a regretful but censorious tone as I politely (no, really) marveled about the wait. "I couldn't," I told her calmly (I swear). "I had to make sure another baby hadn't died on me before being released by my RE, you callous whore." (Okay, I exaggerate, but only a little.)
- OB/GYN practice affiliated with hospital 40 miles away. This practice is the home of a doctor who comes highly recommended and who is, I have been given to believe, downright promiscuous with the ultrasound wand. The distance is a concern. Although I am sure Paul is perfectly capable of driving safely at 3 AM in the middle of a blizzard when the road is sheathed in black ice and I am keening hideously next to him —
Hm.
However, given the unsatisfying exchange with the local practice, I called for an appointment anyway. "How about tomorrow?" the receptionist asked brightly. "That'll be great," I said happily (no, really).
- Prenatal care and homebirth presided over by Paul. "Maybe you could hurry up and go to med school," I suggested. "No need," he answered enthusiastically. "For prenatal care, how's this? Take your vitamin and put down the vodka bottle." He paused. "And how hard could amnio really be?"
I've been dreading the start of obstetrical care. I am not ready to ask many of the questions that a patient customarily asks — delivery policies, C-section rate, position on inducing labor, et cetera — because I'm still not convinced I'll get that far. It feels like daring the universe, a prideful challenge it won't be able to resist.
Nevertheless, I'll go. I'll pee in a cup, I'll allow myself to be weighed, and, if I'm lucky, I'll see a heartbeat. For all his good intentions, Paul has not yet been able to engineer a homemade ultrasound machine that satisfies my exacting requirements, so I'll have to make do with a board-certified physician.
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I usually lurk, but here's my two cents worth. Go with the doctor/hospital that is 40 miles away. I think you would be happier with the care your receive. When delivery day comes, if it is the blizzard of the century, well, they won't refuse to deliver you if you show up at the nearby hospital. It happens all the time. If you go with the other OB practice ask if the doctor or midwife you select will be the one to deliver your baby. In many practices you get the OB on call for the day or night, and you could end up with the one you don't want.
Hi. I lurk around your blog and saw today's post. Whereabout in NE are you? We are in eastern Mass and if you are anywhere near here I would HIGHLY recommend going to Wellesley Women's Care in Newton. Their docs are awesome and their office staff is actually competent. They are in the building connected to Newton-Wellesley Hospital.
Gotta agree with the first poster. There are many, many opportunities during pregnancy for an insensitive practice to tick you off. I switched practices during the first trimester b/c a nurse went postal on me: nostrils flaring, lips flecked with foam, etc., after I made a completely innocent (I SWEAR) request. Ah, memories.
Oh, and you know this from IF treatment, but when you call with a question, don't tell the nurses what the question is. Say you need to speak to the doctor. Otherwise they'll try to be gatekeepers and answer themselves. No offense to the fine profession of nursing, but I usually wanted the doctor's take.
I still think you ought to mozy on down to Toys R Us, purchase one of those snappy little Fisher Price Doctor sets, and employ Paul as your OBGYN.
I vote for Paul. But keep that bottle of vodka nearby just in case.
Julie,
If I was you.....I would go with the "nice" OB and in case of emergency and bad weather you can aleways go to the close, local hospital. If you HAVE to!
GOOD LUCK!
Laura
I vote for the good doctor, make Paul take and emergency baby delivery course, get snow tires, check the Farmer's Almanac, and if there is some damn blizzard deliver at the closer hosptial and pray they have good nurses. You hardly see the doc at delivery anyway. My doctor would check me (oh yeah get a doc with the smallest hands possible) and then say "not yet" and come back later. She eased into the seat to catch the baby and then she was gone. Go to the good OB you spend more time with them during pregnancy and we are a long way from icy roads.
I will watch your vodka. Store it in my freezer. Really. It will be there in March. I swear.
It's not too late to find yourself a new husband, you know. One with M.D. behind his name. ;-P
So are you going in tomorrow? Or was that dramatic lisence?
I'm with the others, nice doc wins.
I have only recently discovered your site as I was looking for other ways to while at away the time during my own interminable 5ww. I had been an obsessive (is there any other kind?) TTC bulletin board surfer and when I learned I was pg I felt out of place and went trolling for an "in-between" spot until I could BELIEVE I was pregnant.
Our timing is very similar-- I was at Cornell for the first two weeks of May after 2 chemical pgs from my home IVF clinic. I had weird beta results (initially great, then not so good) and had to wait until the 7 week to see the heartbeat. I'm now just over 9 weeks and have one more visit to go before being shoved out to an OB/Gyn.
The long introduction is just so that I can express my gratitude at how wonderful your posts are-- you express with uncanny clarity how I feel and have been feeling this past weeks. I still remember reading your "chickens" post to my husband and having both of us laugh and cry as we were in that awful waiting period. I am, like all your other readers, continually sending you good vibes.
Screw the 10 minute away practice. You don't need more hassle, you need healing.
best,
Caitlin
I agree with all the previous posts. How horrible to spend the rest of your pregnancy negotiating the evils of the nearby clinic. Yuck. I'd go with the one 40 miles away, get the caring treatment you deserve, and have Paul practice his night driving (sans vodka).
I gotta agree with everyone else, obviously. Who needs a rude doctor/nurses/etc? 40 miles is not that far of a drive, and will give you and Paul time to visit and even discuss any questions etc you might have on the way to your appointments. Either that, or it seems to be ample time to finish that bottle of vodka before you get to the office. ;o)
Yeah, what they all said ^
YES. Go with Mr. Nice and his kind receptionist. When I was pregnant, there was a point where I got really scared about something they saw on an ultrasound (turned out to be insignificant). The fact that I had a kind, caring OB made ALL THE DIFFERENCE between me getting through the difficult time and going utterly insane and miscarrying from the stress. Your pregnancy is extremely precious--far too precious to trust to a dicky doctor and his dumbshit staff.
OMG, go with the nice doc! Let me tell you, in a high risk pregnancy (I don't care if you are released to a regular ob, loss makes you high risk in my book) you want a good support team. My doc made all the difference. *sigh* If he wasn't already married, I'd marry him myself. I am also VERY lucky to have him. He skipped his scheduled vacation for me! I'd recommend him but we live in Texas (that would be a serious drive! lol) As said above, the local hospital will take you if needed in an emergency.
I lurk often, but couldn't resist giving my opinion on this.
Can I be the voice of dissent and put in a good word for homebirth midwives?
In most hospitals, there's a really alarming rate of unnecessary interventions, including cesarean section, for women who have what they call "premium pregnancies." They assume that you're going to sue them for millions at any moment, so they try to terrify you into thinking that they're the only ones who can save you from your incredibly dangerous body.
Just because it was a major struggle for you to get and stay pregnant...doesn't mean that you're destined to have a high-risk pregnancy and birth.
And homebirth isn't just for crazy hippies! For a normal pregnant woman (which you are!), it's been proven to be just as safe as hospital birth, if not more so. More and more women are enjoying being in their own home for an intimate family event.
Hey, if you couldn't get pregnant the romantic way, why not give birth that way instead?
The average length of a first-time labor (from first contractions to birth) is 24 hours. You have enough time to walk to the nice doctor on snowshoes.
The *last* thing you want during pregnancy and labor and delivery is for the people around you to annoy you or make you feel bad. So go with the people you like.
Please, please, please go with the nice ones. The kind that will stop at the door and sit back down to talk as long as necessary if they even sense that you're uncomfortable or unclear about what they've said. I had February deliveries in the Midwest (similar unexpected blizzard worries)and the one-hour drive was a small price to pay. As Dr. B. reassured me, any hospital, by law, has to deliver you if it's an emergency.
Ditto ditto ditto. You don't need the added stress of a bad office. Besides, in the beginning, assuming there are no problems, you won't be going more than monthly anyway. You know good and well that just about the only thing you can do in the beginning is eat what you can, lay off the smoking and drinking, and hope for the best.
As everybody else has pointed out, any hospital anywhere in the United States is required to treat any patient who presents with an emergency or is in labor. Bleeding and miscarriage (which we know won't happen this time) during pregnancy is an emergent situation because of the possibility of hemmorage and infection.
A good doctor's office, and a good doctor, are vital to your peace of mind. Since there isn't much you can do about any problems that may arise at this point, your peace of mind, knowing that you're getting good care with a minimum of hassle, is vital, especially for someone with a history of madcap misadventures.
So keep the appointment, cancel with the nasty doc, and get on with your pregnancy. You'll be glad you did.
And if you want to pursue midwifery and homebirths too, certainly take a look. At least for a time, the two can be done in paralell if you wish.
The Nice One.
Oh .... I won't say anything... I won't. Just this: do you really want to get your home so messy ? I mean, it is one messy adventure.
Julie:
Personality-wise, I really think it's important for you to "click" with your OB. I have alot of fun with my patients who are around my own age and kinda similar to me really. I even end up sociallizing with them sometimes. As for the delivery and your OB being there.... this is a really difficult issue. Since a pregnant woman can deliver anywhere from 36-42 weeks, it's impossible for any one person to be on-call 24/7 for 6 weeks for each patient... and my average is 10-15 patients a month. I like nothing better than delivering my own patient (I don't know any OB that doesn't); it's like dessert and I hate to miss dessert. BUT... I have to be a human being first and fair to my husband and family, so the call group allows that. I wish it didn't have to be that way. But what it allows is a well-rested OB to be taking care of your delivery. There is a reason why they have passed a law to limit shifts for medical students in New York to 24 hours: because after that many hours of work there will be poorer care of patients and possible fatal mistakes.
And by the way I never refuse an ultrasound to my patients, even for anxiety. God knows, I've done enough on myself for that reason. How could I refuse it to others?
"Premium" Pregancies? I've worked on L&D units for 10 years and I have never heard the term. Fascinating....
What a tough choice. You're going to have to make a 2 hour round-trip drive to all those appointments with the nice Dr. A lot of appointments, and it may not turn out to be as worth it after all that driving. *sigh*
I think I'd probably go with the local practice, only I'd make the appointments with the midwives, not the Drs. See if you can get in sooner than 3 weeks with a midwife.
I just had my first midwife appointment, at a very big practice with a reception staff that occasionally pisses me off. I feel like the midwives are more likely to listen to me and remember me than the OBs. Like you, I'm kinda stuck between driving long distances or going to the local place.
As long as I can keep this baby in my belly for 36 weeks, it's going to be a midwife at my birth.
Also, my history of repeated miscarriage and unexplained spotting was more than enough to get a sono, and I'm scheduled to have yet another one next week.
Anyway -- good luck with your decision.
I say screw Dr. Meanie.... and go with the one 40 minutes out. And at the first sign of impending labor.. get thy ass to a hotel close to Dr. Nice so poor Paul won't have to drive up and down those nasty hills during the blizzard of the century.
Or just move in with me for a few months and deliver at the Brigham. LOL
(If it makes ya feel better.. I have no OB.. and my choices are 45 minutes into Boston.. or 30 minutes into New Hampshire... or 20 minutes to Concord, but it's literally the oldest hospital in the universe.. and looks like it too)
Never heard of a "premium" pregnancy? Sheesh, I heard it daily during my rotation at Cornell's L & D.
I can understand why someone might worry about the mess after seeing hospital births, but somehow there's never that much blood at home. Chalk it up to intact perineums?
I used a midwife twice whose office was over an hour's drive, and it was very annoying toward the end of my pregnancies when the visits are frequent. But I wouldn't worry about a 40 minute drive in labor; that's only going to happen once.
I know a lot of women who have had (unplanned) home/car/ambulance/ER births, but in every case it was because they were waiting for a family member to arrive to take care of other children. It's just not a first baby thing.
Are you sure your not confusing it with "primip" pregnancy? That's short for primaparous as in having delivered one baby. It's often used incorrectly for a "nullip" or nulliparous which means one who hasn't delivered a baby.
Just a note about the "messiness" of homebirth: most homebirth midwives use plenty of chux pads to catch any blood, amniotic fluid, etc., and they *always* clean up afterwards. A lot of people double-sheet their beds - put one set of sheets down, then a waterproof liner, then another set of sheets - and just peel off the top layers after the birth.
Or you can have a waterbirth, and the tub will catch it all. :)
Plenty of women have their first babies at home. Plenty of other women have their first baby in the hospital, have a dreadful experience, and have the second at home. Not to say that good hospital births don't happen...but they take a lot more work on your part to achieve.
The midwives clean up everything after a homebirth. It's part of what you pay for.
I think once you go down the infertility road and the disappointments that tend to come along for the ride, few of us would dare to believe that any pregnancy is normal. We have learned too much, seen too much to casually approach what should be such a natural and normal part of life. It even carries over into parenting. We second guess every decision. S.
Julie go where you feel comfortable/happy with the quality of care and from the sound of it Dr. Nice fits that bill. If you’re comfortable with the drive to your regular appointments at Dr. Nice’s office than I say go for it but is there any reason you cant go to Dr. Nice tomorrow and then to your appointment at your local office in 3 weeks just to see how things fit? Maybe by that time you’ll have a better feel for both offices and then you can make a final decision then(Dr. Nice).
I still am so happy for you!
I've started to write this several times and never managed: After a couple years of trying and naught to show but one miscarriage at the beginning, I'm now due in late January...in New England too (Vermont). Since our nearest hospitals are both 40 minutes (26 miles or so) away, I sympathize with your dilemma AND recommend Go With The Good People. I don't care if your Good People are the OBGYN practice or midwives at home or midwives at the hospital. Any or all might be a road to great joy and strength for you -- but the jackasses nearby are NOT IT.
If you go with the OBGYN Good People, distance be damned! You might choose to shack up in the town with the Good People in a motel room at the first signs of real labor, to cut down the commute when it really matters. Or maybe you know some friends that live nearer, who would be willing to host you for the hours or days that it takes before the weather and the hospital says "OK, come on down!"
We have certified nurse midwives up here, a team of 7 and I'm going to 2 of them (so either or both can attend); we'll be using the hospital watertubs should all go by plan and hope (which means good health and not twins *grin*), which is the compromise between their regs, my comfort with a homebirth, and my need for my husband to not be excessively stressed and anxious. My mom had her third daughter at home (25 minutes from hospital) with a midwife , an apprentice, and a friend, at age 38 (3 weeks shy of 39). Midwives have in general an attitude/perspective I really appreciate.
My midwives recommend the "The Pregnant Woman's Companion" as a resource for the mind/spirit side of being pregnant.
And oh! Count those chickens, baby. Wishing you all the joy, strength, support, and kindness you can bear.
Hi, I haven't read all the posts, but I'd also urge you to go to the nice OB. I'm 30 weeks along, and due to my paranoid nature, history of infertility, and anterior placenta (makes it harder to feel the baby move), I've already had 4 pregnancy scares, and my OB's office has always been very accomodating and compassionate about giving me ultrasounds to reassure me, or once I got past the first trimester, they've always been willing to have me come in so they can put the Doppler on me for 20 seconds so I can hear the heartbeat.
In contrast, my daugter was delievered 3 years ago in England, and we were using National Health. I had a total PRICK-WAD of an OB and no other choice. What a dork. I hated him. Luckily I dealt mostly with the midwives, but had to deal with him during a really stressful postnatal experience with heavy bleeding where I was readmitted to the hospital, and he made it much worse.
Also, even if there's a blizzard, it might last a few hours, but labor often lasts lots and lots of hours, which would more likely than not give you time to get to the hospital either before the forecasted blizzard or after it clears (although I guess it depends on how reliably your roads are plowed).
One final piece of unsolicited advice: I've found it very comforting to be able to rent a Doppler (www.babybeat.com) to check on the heartbeat anytime I want (after 10 or 12 weeks, I think, is when Dopplers work reliably?), because this baby likes to not move for days at a time, which is unusual. I don't use it unless I'm really freaking out, because it's not necessarily a good idea to subject baby to more Doppler waves than you have to (a controversial subject), but it has really helped reassure me the couple of times that I've used it, and eliminated the need to drive to my OB. If yours is 40 miles a way, that may be a useful device.
Oh, and last, if you live anywhere in the "Metro West" area of MA, I can recommend my OB. He's a jolly, nurturing, portly Iranian man that caters to my every paranoid need.
Sorry for the novel.......
Just a few observations--
1. If whomever you choose is part of a group, try to schedule at least one visit with each partner. That way total stranger isn't there at the delivery.
2. When I was in labor with my first (17 hours) I NEEDED to get to the security of a hospital as soon as I could. I get the impression that you will be a heck of a lot more comfortable if your FIRST child is born in a hospital. Save the home birth for number 2!
3. Your doctor is most likely not going to stay in your hospital room for the whole labor process. You will rely a lot more on the L&D nurse who will be with you and will explain the whole event to you (so don't sweat it if you miss the Lamaze classes!) She will be your rock!
4. Go with the kinder, gentler doctor. You have invested a lot into having this child. You deserve to be comfortable and happy for the whole experience. Listen to your heart (and read your words--you've already told US which Dr. you want!)
5. Keep in mind that your RE told you to find an OB-- not a high risk OB. If he doesn't see the high risk in your pregnancy, it might not be there!
Me again, sorry.
I forgot to mention (you may already know this) that towards the end of your pregnancy, you'll have an OB appointment every two weeks (at my practice, weeks 28-36), then every week (weeks 36-40), so that will also mean driving in winter for 40 miles.
I know someone who is 2 hours away from her hospital/practice, and for the last month of her pregnancy, she plans to stay with friends who live closer to the hospital. I wouldn't want to do that, but maybe there's some similar kind of arrangement that you could make like that, short of staying in a hotel.....
ix-Nay on the bad doc. I'll stand with the gals encouraging you to call a few midwives. I love talking to midwives, they are so positive and inspiring about birthing. Tell them your history, tell them you aren't likely to have a home birth but you just want to pick their brains about local doctors and hospitals. I would be surprised if they were anything but encouraging and helpful.
For the record, there was zero mess left over at my home birth. The midwives whipped up the chux pads and threw the towels in the wash, within minutes there were no signs of birth at all. I loved having prenatal midwifery care and a home birth, it was my INFORMED choice.
I know you'll pick a great doc. Hopefully you can find someone as funny as yourself, the birth room will end up being one huge party!
Sorry, but after all the emotional turmoil of miscarriages and infertility treatments... Well, let's just say the only home delivery I'll be having is a mushroom and cheese thin-crust pizza.
Amen Marla. LOL
I've never had a baby, I've got no personal experience to share, but I read your post. It appears you've listed some great reasons not to go to dr. dipshits office and great reasons to go to the other office. Like others have been said, if you end up needing to deliver in the other hospital they won't turn you away...but you should have plenty of time to get to the other doc. And, if they know you're traveling that far to get to them they will most likely try to work things out in such a way that your appointments aren't smack in the middle of the day.
Oh, go for the nice ones, definitely! That's heartening, that you could get in so quickly -- may it be a portent of what's to come, in terms of competent staff support for excellent medical care. I think it's so important to find somewhere you feel safe and well-supported, and it sounds like this practice has that potential.
Oh, FYI: A "premium pregnancy" is one that is believed to be of *particular* value (I know! I know!), such as one that was very difficult to achieve, as in, preceded by losses or brought about through fertility treatment, or the pregnancy of an "older" woman. (I put "older" in quotes because...well, do I have to explain?) You can be a primigravida or a grand multipara, but if you have the history, it's a "premium pregnancy."
So there you go.
That reminds me...When I was pregnant I looked up the diagnostic code that my OB gave me. It translated to "Elderly Primagravida". I was effing 36! Elderly indeed! BITE ME!!!
I don't think any of us can possibly offer Julie advice without knowing how sexually attractive these doctors are.
Why would a doctor want to weigh you and ask you to pee in a cup during every visit? Weight gain is not a good indicator of maternal or fetal health. Peeing in a cup isn't indicated unless you have high BP. If you're at risk of diabetes, then a blood test early in the third trimester is a better guide than urine testing (partly because you can have mildly elevated BGL of concern in pg without glucose appearing in your urine).
I can understand your desire for frequent u/s given your history. But there is more to caring for a pg woman than ensuring the ongoing health and development of her baby. Beyond 20w each of my visits with midwife or my ob consisted of talking about how things were going and how our plans were progressing - did I have any questions etc - as well as BP measurement, feeling my belly, listening with the doppler etc.
The only time I had the full monitoring protocol and a wee test during my pg was at 32w when I'd had a bout of gastro. Even when I was in labour by the time I reached hospital the baby was too far down for me to be able to pee *at all*.
I too would go for the nicer doctor and nurses but as for driving 40 miles while in labour I personally wouldn't relish the prospect - at least knowing what I know now.
First time and "elderly" mothers are supposed to have longish labours. Posterior babies are supposed to take even longer with more pain. I went into labour with my daughter a month short of my 38th birthday and I knew she was posterior. My water broke at home at 10.30pm and contractions started at five minute intervals straight away. The hospital was a 15 minute drive and while it wasn't the worst bit of labour it wasn't at all comfortable. I started having pushing urges by 1am, was fully dilated by 3am and delivered at 3.17am. Not sure how I would have coped with a 1hr+ car drive. I'd half expected to be in labour for the rest of the night.
So if you choose the 40 mile doctor and hospital, check out the local hospital anyway as first baby is no guarantee you will have a long labour and I guess the weather could conspire against you as well.
Oh, yes, getupgrrl, you're so right.
So? Hot or not?
www.cheesepuppet.net tried to have a waterbirth at a midwife center and almost died and her baby almost died too. He has permanent hearing loss. She is young, healthy, no known risk factors, etc. It's worth reading. I'm faking my email address because I don't wanna be bombarded by hate email from homebirth people. I just don't think it's safe for everybody and you can't know if you'll be the one who has the rare complication.
"Lorrie", what exactly was the point of that? Julie has stated several times to cut that sh*t out. There are risks and possible complications in every place of birth, yes, in birth centers and homebirths, and *plenty* in the hospital too. Every one has the right to make an informed decision and hopefully everyone here is going to politely support Julie in whatever she decides. Most likely she'll go for the hospital and no matter how much I want to hear a story about her cooking up the placenta....well, somehow I'll have to make through the year without it. heh
In answer to Steph: Weight gain is not an exclusive marker of good maternal health, but it is *an* indicator. While weight gain isn't necessarily a big deal, significant weight *loss* can indicate big trouble, and if you don't weigh at each visit, you don't catch it (particularly in heavier women). It's simple, it's painless, it doesn't cost anything, and the risk of you slipping and falling on the scale are minimal. In short, there's no reason *not* to.
As for peeing in the cup: Preeclampsya can occur in spikes that you may not see on individual BP checks. A urine screen for protein spill from the kidneys (an indicator of high blood pressure) can be a better indicator than just a cuff check at a moment when the patient might happen to be particularly relaxed because, for example, she's fallen asleep in the waiting room and been dreaming of vodka because the office is running three and a half hours behind schedule.
A urine screen of this type is cheap (not free, but inexpensive), non-invasive, involves no risk of complications to the patient, and short of falling off the commode or the patient wetting her clothes, not much can go wrong, so again, there's little reason to not do it.
How do you feel about the hospitals? Because, worse case scenario you can have an emergency delivery at the one 10 minutes from your house, but if you hate that hospital and love the other one, that could influence your choice of doctor. I hated where I delviered. Didn't think at the time that the policy of not allowing my husband to stay the night or sharing a room was a big deal, but after four nights of sharing a room with a new mom who's baby was very quiet (as opposed to my crying baby, who kept her awak and made me feel incredibly quilty), I really wished I'd gone with the hospital with private rooms!
You may want to consider popping into the two possible hospital options for a bite to eat in the cafeteria. We've been chatting over at my site about how I picked my OB-- I decided to deliver at the hospital with better food. Call me crazy, but labor makes me HUNGRY!!
Oh, Chris has a great point. We had to pay $150 extra (not covered by insurance, thankyouverymuch) for a "private" room (for 7 hours). That shared a bathroom with another "private" room. So I was mopping up my own blood from the floor of the bathroom 5 hours post-partum so the other mom wouldn't have to walk in someone else's blood. And the place was a germ factory. And the recovery nurses were non-existent. Ick.
So check on policies about stuff like that, too. Do all the recovery rooms have beds that crank up? (Mine didn't--big trouble trying to start nursing with a bed that was flat.) Can your husband stay there all night? Can the pediatrician do the exams in the room with you, or do they have to take the baby to the nursery?
["Lorrie," there are plenty of bad things that happen in the hospital. A friend's friend died a few months ago about 20 minutes after delivering in the hospital. She died. Leaving her daughter without a mother. Bad things happen--don't turn it into a location-bashing thing. It's not helpful to anyone.]
Well, I don't know about you, but I'm really pleased with how bossy and cantankerous these comments have gotten. The chastising, finger-wagging, know-it-all tone is, in my opinion, exactly what a frightened, formerly-infertile, newly pregnant woman needs right now. Well done! And extra points to those of you who worked in terrifying stories of maternal death! Once the argument escalates to the point where you're calling one another "Nazis," your work here will be done.
Julie, you didn't ask for advice, so I won't give any. You're an incredibly intelligent, well-informed woman who has managed to navigate the health care systems of two separate infertility clinics. I trust that you and Paul will arrive at a decision that fits well with your family's needs, especially given how precious this pregnancy is to you.
xoxoxo
I (heart) getupgrrl.