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Why, you're radiant...with evil.

Last night I watched the opening ceremonies for the Athens Olympics. Well, I sort of watched, meaning I fast-forwarded at double speed. (Thank you, TiVo. You may rest now.)

I have had fever dreams more coherent than the spectacle I witnessed. Well, sort of witnessed, meaning I was also compulsively worrying at a hangnail at the time.

I looked up just in time to see the climax of one phase of the show: a young, slender woman voluptuously fonding what looked to be a bowling ball, carried at navel height. It was a bizarre enough sight that I unmuted the television, allowing TiVo the privilege of telling me what the hell was going on.

"— symbolizing the hope for the future: a pregnant woman," the Canadian announcer somberly intoned.

And I watched in disbelief as the bowling ball lit up.

Paul and I couldn't decide if it was closest to 2001, Alien, or Rosemary's Baby. It was exquisitely upsetting. I am left to conclude that the future hinges either on a battery-powered translucent bowling ball, or on a radioactive demon child sending signals to the mothership from the surface of our doomed planet.

"What the fucking fuck?" the Canadian announcer somberly intoned. I heartily concurred.