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11/17/2004
In Which the Husband Complains about Gestational Diabetes
Sure, Julie has to stab herself with a needle five times a day, but think about my pain.
Whatever happened to the days when we would think nothing of knocking off a whole box of pasta (cooked, thank you, with a little olive oil and parmesan) together in front of the TV? Now Julie is counting every grain of rice on her plate, and I must soldier on alone to maintain our household carb consumption. I'm not sure I can do it.
Not that I'm unwilling to try — put a half dozen bagels or a pound of candied ginger on the corner of my desk and they'll be gone by morning — but there's a limit to what a guy can do. Especially when I can't rely on a partner to consume the other half of the batch of sourdough rolls coming out of the oven or the bag of chocolate whatnots from the grocery store. Even the kick of feeling noble and protective as I sample the latest batch of holiday cookies eventually palls.
Worse yet, as I gird myself for yet another assault on the starch mountain, I feel a certain sense of guilt. Perhaps as I dollop the vanilla ice cream over a thick slice of freshly-baked apple pie, I should be a little less exuberant about how wonderful it's going to taste and how I'm going to enjoy every last flaky, creamy bite and savor the delicious fragrance rising from the place.
We're counting the weeks.
Posted by paul at 04:21 PM in Paul scrawl | Permalink
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Comments (26)
Hi Julie,
I've been an avid reader for weeks now.
I have a friend (strangely enough, also named Julie) who had to do the needle 4 times a day when she was pregnant.
She nearly needled her husband, too, when he acted like that.
I say, yes, be PROactive, not REactive.
Posted by: Amy at Nov 17, 2004 4:39:51 PM
Crap. When I was diagnosed as "borderline" gestationally diabetic, my doctor told me that if I exercised immediately after eating a high-sugar meal that I could neutralize a lot of it. But I guess you can't do that due to a rogue placenta. Nor can you drink. Or put on a slinky outfit. Or have sex. What does that leave? OHHH blessed technology, I suggest you steal your husband's credit card and go on a massive internet shopping bender.
I wonder what gestationally diabetic/rogue placenta women did before the internet? Probably just sat around and made crank calls all day. At least, that's what I would have done.
Posted by: Susy at Nov 17, 2004 5:25:21 PM
sucks balls.
The whole situation I mean, not you...or Paul I guess.
Posted by: Andreah at Nov 17, 2004 5:34:04 PM
Great to finally hear from Paul!! I'm sure he could have a wonderful blog of his own, as his perspective on all of this must surely be mind blowing. :o)
Glad to hear that Julie has a carb-loving partner that can take up her slack in these last few months. ;o) Cheers!
Posted by: shaunacat at Nov 17, 2004 5:48:14 PM
Number of times I have cordially invited a certain pie-chawing someone to suck my motherfucking dick: 0
To be fair, number of times he has ostentatiously enjoyed sweets in front of me: also 0
Posted by: Julie at Nov 17, 2004 5:50:23 PM
The post from Paul was funny, but sorry.....it's got NOTHING on Julie's comment. I'm cracking up over here.
Posted by: Mandy at Nov 17, 2004 6:18:45 PM
Hehe that was funny. My man regularly rescues me from snack cakes, pudding, chips...
He's feeling the pressure of keeping up with me!
Posted by: LisaN at Nov 17, 2004 6:24:55 PM
Is your wife STILL baking pies? And you're ALL ALONE with the fork in your hand?
Your poor son of a bitch. But it could be worse... you could have married me. It's gardenburgers and seeds of all sorts, with nary a cookie in sight. Count your blessings.
Posted by: mollie at Nov 17, 2004 6:36:46 PM
Mmmmm. Pie.
Posted by: Dead Bug at Nov 17, 2004 7:14:31 PM
I had GD with my kiddo, too. Diet alone didn't control it and I ended up injecting myself twice a day with insulin - not as bad as it sounds - don't freak. After all the Needles of Infertility (sounds like a soap opera), it really isn't a big deal. By the last few weeks of my carb-miserly diet, i was dreaming about cheesecake. My husband brought me a thin, hours-old coffee milk shake post-labor (my request), 'cuz get this - as soon as you deliver that placenta - your diabetes, she is gone! On to melted ice cream! Sweet watery bliss! You'll get there.
Posted by: Barbara at Nov 17, 2004 8:12:35 PM
I had GD with my kiddo, too. Diet alone didn't control it and I ended up injecting myself twice a day with insulin - not as bad as it sounds - don't freak. After all the Needles of Infertility (sounds like a soap opera), it really isn't a big deal. By the last few weeks of my carb-miserly diet, i was dreaming about cheesecake. My husband brought me a thin, hours-old coffee milk shake post-labor (my request), 'cuz get this - as soon as you deliver that placenta - your diabetes, she is gone! On to melted ice cream! Sweet watery bliss! You'll get there.
Posted by: Barbara at Nov 17, 2004 8:13:02 PM
Daily needle count my last week of pregnancy: 1 Blood thinner (inner thighs), 7 finger sticks, and 2 insulin.
Cheating wasn't an option with my GD as I was living in the hospital and my ob hung out in my room too damned often. I lost 8 lbs that last week though.
Hubby quite often "helped" me by eating plenty of carbs though.
It will end.
Posted by: Amy V at Nov 17, 2004 8:25:56 PM
Think Vegas Baby... Vegas...
Posted by: BrendaS at Nov 17, 2004 8:50:44 PM
World's smallest violin, Paul! But I'm pretty sure that Julie's already told you the equivalent (just guessing here, from her post!). Hang in there, both of you!
Posted by: Abby at Nov 17, 2004 9:13:08 PM
Paul you little shit, you want I should come over there and KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS????
Posted by: Tertia at Nov 17, 2004 11:15:26 PM
Paul, really, please couldn't you take care and not get Julie's BF Tertia all in knots?
(I'm fairly certain that she WILL come & kick some fucking ass, but not sure it is in her best interest to do it right this moment.)
PS - my hubby says "cry me a fucking river." He wants Julie to come live with us. He'll gladly do shots with her if he could just get a single sweet out of it.
:)
Posted by: Boulder at Nov 18, 2004 12:21:10 AM
As funny as you are Paul, please don't piss Tertia off. We really are trying to keep her fat, pregnant, and (at least occassionally) happy for a few more weeks!
Posted by: Kristin at Nov 18, 2004 8:58:59 AM
A completely unrelated comment (nothing to do with Paul or GD)
Are you making a quilt for batman? Please let us know and show us sketches of the blocks. Based on your other quilts I can only imagine how beautiful the one you make for your baby will be.
Posted by: serena at Nov 18, 2004 9:10:01 AM
Oh good. Husband bashing. And so timely, as mine is being a huge asshat this week.
I once knew a guy (not my husband) who gave up drinking the whole time is wife was pregnant. I'm just saying...
Posted by: Kristine at Nov 18, 2004 1:59:13 PM
oh now that is just wrong. See how you are, Paul. Why you godda be like that?
And - wow - Julie has a dick? AND she's this smart, funny, totally groovy and all around kick ass? Julie - will you marry me? (After you divorce that ingrate that is)?
Posted by: susan at Nov 18, 2004 3:57:53 PM
Maybe this will temper your exuberance, Paul:
"A man's testosterone levels drop significantly when he holds an infant. Even holding a baby doll can decrease levels of the male virility hormone. Married men, whether fathers or not, have markedly lower testosterone levels than single males, according to one of the first studies of how the hormone changes when men marry and become fathers."
Enjoy that pie...
Posted by: Christine at Nov 18, 2004 5:03:32 PM
I remember being pg with GD on Thanksgiving, god that sucked (not as bad as not being pg at all, but you guys know what I'm getting at). Now Paul, I don't think for a second that you would, but just to be sure, never try to encourage Julie to cheat on her "diet". Mark was always trying to get me to eat stuff that I couldn't because he felt bad eating it without me, but it really REALLY pissed me off.
And really try not to piss Tertia off, you might be safe since your name has a "u" in it, but you never can tell what with all the crazy hormones involved.
Posted by: cheryl b. at Nov 18, 2004 8:35:23 PM
hey your blog is really fascinating. and funny. i've been an (anonymous) egg donor twice. interesting to see the other side.
Posted by: amanda at Nov 18, 2004 11:51:51 PM
My best meal ever was after my daughter was born. After 3 months with gd, 4 fingerpricks and 4 insulin injections a day, 12 hours of labor with nothing but ice cubes to suck on... That chocolate cake, cheeseburger and fries was cold and soggy but DELICIOUS! You'll never take your carbs for granted again!
Posted by: Tina at Nov 19, 2004 11:32:16 AM
I think I just had a carborgasm.
Posted by: Julie at Nov 19, 2004 11:54:45 AM
You should really go to hell for saying any of this, really.
I have type 1 diabetes, and this is my life.
Its not a choice.
Definitely not what i want to do.
I doubt she wanted to either.
SUCK MY BALLS. Thanks.
Posted by: Type1 at Jul 1, 2009 2:43:36 AM
