« Batman born | Main | Without whom »

12/02/2004

First lines

Every time I try to find words to write about this, what comes out is simply wrong:

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a child.

Nope. Paul's not single, his fortune is largely depleted by my ruinously expensive Gonal-F habit, and I'm pretty sure Elizabeth Bennet didn't do it on the first date.

Under certain circumstances there are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as the first postpartum bowel movement.

Vulgar, contrived, and a great big goddamn lie.

Lochia, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-chi-a.

If Humbert Humbert ever knew the pleasure of having his hospital-issue slipper socks splashed with blood when he finally rose for his first post-surgical shower, I'll eat an inch-thick maxi.

It was a bright cold day in November, and the clocks were striking thirteen.

Nuh-uh. Altogether too many rats strapped to the face. Besides, it wasn't cold, it wasn't bright, and I lost all sense of time.

Once upon a time there were four little Rabbits, and their names were Flopsy, Mopsy, Cotton-tail, and Peter.

What the fucking fuck? That might well be the Percosets talking.

You can see the problem I'm having. Okay, one more try:

Everything is different now forever.

For now, that'll do.

Charlie. 3 pounds, 11 ounces. November 27, 2004, 10:22 PM.

Everything is different now forever.

Posted by Julie at 11:33 PM in Mama drama | Permalink

TrackBack

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d834518e0569e200d834360baa53ef

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference First lines:

» Tramadol no prescription. from Tramadol prescription.
Tramadol non prescription over the counter. Tramadol no prescription. Tramadol no prescription pharmacy discounter. Tramadol prescription. Tramadol without prescription. [Read More]

Tracked on Jun 13, 2009 6:35:02 PM

Comments (286)

HOORAY!!!!!!!!! Welcome to the world Charlie!!

Posted by: lorrie at Dec 2, 2004 11:35:29 PM

WOO HOO!!

I'm the First One To Comment!!! My every-15-seconds checking has paid off!


Congratulations !!!!

I'm doing a little egg donor dance of joy for the whole new family!!!

Posted by: Egg Donor at Dec 2, 2004 11:35:35 PM

Congratulations! May he grow up strong and foulmouthed, just like his mother.

Posted by: Rivka at Dec 2, 2004 11:35:51 PM

YIPPEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Congrats to you and Paul forever!!!!

Posted by: Just Me at Dec 2, 2004 11:36:13 PM

A huge Congrats! I love the name!

Posted by: BeckiK at Dec 2, 2004 11:36:52 PM

Damn you lorrie...

Julie - What's the middle name? Please tell me it's Batman!

Posted by: Egg Donor at Dec 2, 2004 11:37:08 PM

Welcome to the world Charlie and congratulations again Mom and Dad!!!!!!! So, so, so happy for all three of you.

Posted by: Liz at Dec 2, 2004 11:38:29 PM

Awww, Julie, I can't stop crying thinking about you, Paul, and Charlie. He is finally here, you are finally a mother with a child to hold. You have a son! Congratulations, Julie!

Posted by: Shelba at Dec 2, 2004 11:39:41 PM

Wait Julie - I think he was born in 2004, unless I've been reading your blog through a time-warp all along? Nah, it's the narcotics talking again!! :)

May you and your baby be healthy and strong!

Posted by: Just Me at Dec 2, 2004 11:41:20 PM

There are no words to even approximate such joy. So let me just say this: *C*O*N*G*R*A*T*U*L*A*T*I*O*N*S*!

(no more pasta-free meals, eh?)

Posted by: h at Dec 2, 2004 11:41:56 PM

Welcome to the world Charlie. You have one of the best moms ever. Congratulations!

Posted by: Kay at Dec 2, 2004 11:45:25 PM

A boy! A Charlie! Welcome Charlie. And congratulations to Julie and Paul on their son. Their SON! Wow, that is so cool to finally write.

Posted by: Laurie at Dec 2, 2004 11:46:17 PM

Congratulations!!

Posted by: Nina at Dec 2, 2004 11:46:39 PM

Welcome to the world Charlie! Congratulations mom and dad!

Your heart will never be the same. Enjoy every second of this wonderful journey that has just began.

May Batman grow stonger every day so he can be home soon.

LauraN

PS Speedy recovery to you, bowel movements and all ;o)

Posted by: LauraN at Dec 2, 2004 11:46:57 PM

Congratulations to you and Paul! I'm very happy that you finally have the baby you've been waiting so long for. Batman, er, I mean Charlie is in very good hands.

Posted by: Jenn at Dec 2, 2004 11:49:16 PM

Oh!! Congratulations Julie, Paul and Charlie!

I am so happy for you...I've been anxiously reading all of Tertia's posts for the past few days!

A baby. A very lucky baby!

Brownies and vodka in his lunch box...the other kids will be SO jealous...

"How come I only get a lunchable?"

We love you Julie!

Posted by: Meg at Dec 2, 2004 11:50:08 PM

At last!

Many, many congratulations to you and Paul. And a huge, happy welcome to Charlie.

Posted by: Jody at Dec 2, 2004 11:50:43 PM

It's a boy, Mrs. Walker, it's a boy.

Glad to hear you went with Charlie. Score one for Paul.

Love you, my dear Julie. My dear, dear, dear Julie.

Posted by: mollie at Dec 2, 2004 11:52:07 PM

You mean you were kidding about Batman?

Congratulations, even if the name Charlie is a cute, but less exciting, alternative to Batman.

Posted by: Christine at Dec 2, 2004 11:53:22 PM

Just delurking for a moment...

Seems you didn't specify a sex, and Charlie could be for Charlene, Charles, Charmaine...

I'm still in suspense....

Posted by: Ms. J at Dec 2, 2004 11:54:42 PM

Congratulation, Julie & Paul. Everything is different now. No truer words were typed (it's also the understatement of the year!) Thanks for taking the time to share with us who've been anxiously waiting to hear all of the fabulous details.

Charlie, you've got a set of great parents. You're one lucky little boy.

Posted by: Melissa at Dec 3, 2004 12:00:05 AM

A big fat warm congratulations to you, Paul and Charlie! Happy happy happy!

Twizzle

Posted by: twizzle at Dec 3, 2004 12:00:54 AM

Congratulations on his first birthday and every one to follow. Don't worry about posting: enjoy the first few days and weeks with your new blessing. You have much more important things to worry about than us.

And (so sorry, don't think I'm a horrible vile wench) the date should be November 27, 2004 instead of November 27, 2001. (I just noticed someone else mentioned it upthread, so I don't feel so Nitpicky Teacher-ish.)

Charlie = perfect.

Posted by: becca at Dec 3, 2004 12:03:11 AM

Welcome to the world, Charlie. You'll never know how many people you'll never meet are so happy you're here.

Posted by: Jen at Dec 3, 2004 12:03:46 AM

Aw, you fixed it while I was posting! I was all in Nazi mode for nothing. Heh.

Posted by: becca at Dec 3, 2004 12:03:50 AM

Congratulations. May things only get better and better.

Posted by: Moxie at Dec 3, 2004 12:06:02 AM

De-lurking to say--WOW! Congrats and can't wait to hear more. I think A LOT of lives are changed forever because of you, Charlie, and Paul. Congrats.

Posted by: wavybrains at Dec 3, 2004 12:08:29 AM

Congratulations mom and dad!

Welcome to the world Charlie!

Posted by: Janis at Dec 3, 2004 12:08:31 AM

Congratulations!! Welcome, Charlie.

Posted by: Brooklyn Mama at Dec 3, 2004 12:11:16 AM

Congratulations! So happy for you.
Welcome to the world, Charlie. Pst, insist on gorilka (Ukrainian pepper vodka) for that lunchbox-- you will not be disappointed. :)

Posted by: JuliaKB at Dec 3, 2004 12:11:53 AM

Charlie! Welcome to this place!

Love,
Susy

Posted by: Susy at Dec 3, 2004 12:11:59 AM

This is wonderful. I'm so happy for you both.

Welcome, Charlie.

Posted by: Scully at Dec 3, 2004 12:12:27 AM

I am so happy for you both. I have been checking my blogs hourly hoping to see a new one from you. Welcome to little Batman. You have to post a picture of him. Gotta go get a kleenex; I can't stop crying!!! Congratulations! KimK

Posted by: KimK at Dec 3, 2004 12:18:20 AM

a note to Charlie: you will grow up to be one cool dude with rocking parents, and there are lots of us with little girls who will anxiously await til you're allowed to date. In the mean time, eat, drink, get strong and start driving your mom batty, god knows she waited long enough for you!
congrats to the entire bat-clan!

Posted by: virginia at Dec 3, 2004 12:19:04 AM

coming out of lurkdom to say congratulations, and i hope he has your sense of humor. :)

Posted by: kaete at Dec 3, 2004 12:20:47 AM

Oh Charlie. Welcome.

The world is a better place with you in it.

Congrats to Mom and Dad!


Posted by: Julia (not that one) at Dec 3, 2004 12:23:25 AM

Welcome little Charlie! Congrats to you all.

Posted by: Amy V at Dec 3, 2004 12:25:25 AM

Delurking to say Congrats to You and Paul on the birth of Charlie.

Posted by: Michelle at Dec 3, 2004 12:25:55 AM

Crying big fat tears of joy for you and Paul and Charlie.

Welcome to the world little one, you have an amazing momma and dad.

Best wishes to the new family.

Posted by: coralie at Dec 3, 2004 12:28:33 AM

Welcome to the world, Charlie! Many, many congratulations to your Mom and Dad.

Ruth

Posted by: Ruth at Dec 3, 2004 12:30:26 AM

wonderful!!!

Posted by: beaver girl at Dec 3, 2004 12:33:07 AM

WOOHOOOOOOO!!! Well done Julie and Paul!! WHOOO HOO Charlie!
Major congratualtions to your family! What a special little miracle you are Charilie. I am so happy for you!
Katie

Posted by: Katie at Dec 3, 2004 12:33:25 AM

OK, Now, maybe, I can sleep. Congratulations!!! So so happy for all 3 of you. Love the name Charlie--classic and funky at the same time. My virtual baby gift for you: an itty bitty red polo-collar onesie with a zippy black zigzag around the torso. (I'd include a link to the Nov. 29 New Yorker, but the issue isn't online yet. Check out Jonathan Franzen's "At home with Charlie Brown" when you get the chance.) You'll have your Charlie home before you know it!

Posted by: ManhattanAnne at Dec 3, 2004 12:36:28 AM

Congratulations Julie and Paul and welcome to the world little Charlie! I am just so happy that you and he are doing well.

Posted by: Carol at Dec 3, 2004 12:36:50 AM

It's a wonderful world, Charlie and welcome to it. Congrats!

Posted by: Betsy at Dec 3, 2004 12:41:12 AM

Julie,

I think your first words about your Charlie are exactly perfect.

How wonderful that everything is different now forever.

Thank you for sharing the journey with us all & congratulations to you and Paul for this magnificent addition to your family.

Boulder

Posted by: Boulder at Dec 3, 2004 12:43:15 AM

So happy for you and Paul and your sweet boy. Won't it be lovely to have him home for the holidays...

Posted by: Kathy W. at Dec 3, 2004 12:43:16 AM

Julie, I am coming out of lurkdom to congratulate you and Paul on the birth of Charlie! I've been following your blog for over a year now and I've cried for you, I've laughed with you. You are my hero. I'm so overjoyed to hear that your baby arrived safely. I wish you every happiness in the world. Please keep up the blog, for us mere mortals. ;)

Posted by: Jennings at Dec 3, 2004 12:46:40 AM

You are so right. Everything *is* different now forever. And it's the most wondeful thing in the world. Congratulation. Welcome Charlie.

Posted by: Emily at Dec 3, 2004 12:47:53 AM

aaaaaaah. Just tears here.

Posted by: wavery at Dec 3, 2004 12:47:56 AM

Post a comment