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12/27/2004
WWMFITCD?*
Yesterday we were told that we had a couple of choices: Charlie could go via ambulance to the hospital close to home this week, or he could stay in the hospital in Connecticut for about another week, then go directly home — to our house, in our car — with us.
Charlie is 34 weeks' gestation today, and weighs just a hair less than 5 pounds. He's being fed by bottle and requires no breathing assistance. He's finishing a course of antibiotics after last week's infection, and is in an open crib regulating his own temperature nicely.
Now, I'm not asking for advice, because we've already made our choice. But there were about a million factors to consider, and I'm interested in what my friends inside the computer would decide. In our situation, what would you do, and why?
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* What Would My Friends Inside the Computer Do?
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Are you truly comfortable with the idea of Charlie being at home? Or does it fill you with terror?
Julie,
Since you asked, but ONLY because you asked: I'd wait the week, and take him directly home — to your house, in your car — with you.
Regardless of that opinion, how unbelievably cool will it be to have him HOME?! I'm so happy for you.
I'm sure you made the best decision either way. We support you!
Assuming that you mean Charlie would have to stay in the hospital closer to home a bit longer after the trip, I'd choose to wait a week at the hospital in Conn. and then bring my baby home.
So glad to hear he is doing better/well!
As you say, there are too many factors to consider which must make the choice frustrating. However, if I were in your shoes and based on what I know being an avid reader, I could see myself having the baby stay in CT for another week and bring him straight home verse schlepping him around and getting him re-admitted into another hospital and all the administrative nonesense that goes along with that sort of thing -- and who knows if they're gonna insist on poking and prodding him more.
Since he's not needing breathing assistance, and if he continues like that for another week...all exceptionally positive and very strong indicators that he is pretty much "clear." I also firmly believe that he will thrive more in your arms, as in gaining more weight and growing, bonding, etc. then having to be in another strange place; albeit home will be that to him for a just a little bit but all the more cozy.
I actually had to make this same choice when my son was born. He was born 6 weeks early, they sent him to a regional hospital 60 miles from my home hours after delivery because of a heart murmur. After 3 days in the regional hospital we were givin the choice of either moving him back where I delvered for the remaining week and 3 days, or waiting and taking him home from the regional hospital 10 days later. We had him moved for our convienience, it was easier for me to slip up to the hospital to see him and breastfeed him if he was closer to home.
I cant wait until you get Charlie home and can begin to enjoy him to the fullest without NICU staff, sick babies, and other distractions.
Well, I guess that depends on whether your hotel has good room service. Food is always such a good tie-breaker.
Since you asked, but only because you asked, I would wait a week and take him home for numerous reasons. Off the top of my head, it would be less disruptive to him in general, no expensive ambulance ride, no new hospital with different protocols, a more definite "end" in sight to this leg of his journey, fewer administrative burdens, etc.
Wait a week and bring him home. HOME.
Charlie sounds like he is doing wonderfully. My SIL brought both of her babies home at 35 weeks. They were tiny (my neice was born at the same age and weight as Charlie). My SIL and BIL lacked greatly in the parenting skills area and their children are great. So, I can only imagine how well Charlie will do in your excellent care.
Home, Charlie, home. (Or move closer to home, whatever your mom and dad want).
When will you share with us your decision?
At first blush I would say that I would keep him where he is for a week more and then take him home. He has been well cared for there and you would have that comfort.
Then I thought about the car trip home and thought well, maybe that would be a bit nerve wracking and maybe julie is more comfortable knowing that in being transported by ambulance he would be safer....
Either way... it sounds like he's doing so well and I'm happy for you.
After having a baby that spent 2 weeks in the NICU with a team of nurses helping me change and feed and bathe him when we were able to take him home I was terrifed! They just let me take him home?!?! WTF! But know this or find out, can you call the nurses if you run into trouble? I called his very nurses from the NICU after a terrible gas bout and they were so helpful. Your hospital should offer infant first aid and CPR take it and/or ask about it.
We transfered our son to a hospital close to our home and took him home from there. Waiting for him to arrive via the ambulance was tourture!!
He's yours and your love and patience and caring is all he needs. You'll do fine. Plus you have all of us!
So glad he's almost ready to be at home with you.
I THINK that in your place, I would just keep him where he has been all this time and then bring him directly home. I would do this so that he could continue in the care of those who have been helping him all along, and so that he and you don't have to get to know a whole new group of doctors/nurses and so on.
Whatever you decide, he'll be home where he belongs soon and that's the important thing.
Good luck!
Unless the commute and/or cost of the hotel is a major stress (& they very well might be, I'm not dismissing either factor), I would be inclined to leave things as they are. A move (possibly stressful for Charlie), a new hospital (which possibly means new germs) and new staff to get to know hardly seems worth it for a week.
However, as I said, if one more day of commuting and/or hotel bills are going to send you over the edge, then maybe it is worth it.
In otherwords, do what you think is best for you and your baby. (aren't I a big help???)
I've heard too many horror stories on the Triplet Connection about babies transferred to step-down hospitals only to have "set backs" requiring longer stays, most of said setbacks involving new doctors with different requirements for discharge. Also, I had two babies come home several days earlier than promised/expected because the doctors and nurses decided they were doing better than predicted. Given those two issues--the possibility that the doctors at the unknown hospital closer to home might renege on the promise of discharge within a week, and the very good possibility that a baby as stable as Charlie sounds could be discharged even earlier than the week promised at the current hospital--I would stay in CT and finish the climb there.
I think I've already mentioned this, but it bears repeating: On a Tuesday, our son was still in an isolette. On Wednesday, he still had a feeding tube. On Thursday, his pediatrician told me to expect a discharge sometime the following week. On Friday afternoon, the nurses told me he was going home the next day. On Saturday afternoon, he was snuffling and snorting in the crib next to our bed. At the time, he weighed 4 lb 10 oz, and was 35 weeks, 6 days gestational age (3 weeks, 2 days old in real time).
To answer Tracy's question, we were filled with a certain amount of terror. And we were so ready to have him home, we would have moved mountains to make it happen.
Julie-
I have no opinion on your decision. I am heartened by Charlie's great progress these last weeks. Will the new hospital take off that disturbing flipper your Aunt saw in the u/s pic or will that be traveling home with you?
It is wonderful news that he is doing so well.
If it were my choice, I would have him transported to the hospital closer to home.
My reasons: 1) Tiny baby on long car trip immediately after being discharged from hospital would be nerve wracking for me--what if something happened on the way home? 2) Having the chance to get to know the staff at the local hospital "just in case" something happens after baby is at home
Glad to hear an end is in sight, though.
Wow! I cant believe you are so close to having him at home! How very exciting. Just my 2 cents but I would like to have him transported to a city closer to home for several reasons. First, your comfort level as being able to sleep in your own bed and take care of things around the house. Secondly, I would be very nervous about traveling a long distance (I dont know how far you are from home) with a newborn who just spent several weeks in the NICU. If the ambulance takes him I would feel that if something happened at least there would be medical personel close by. And lastly, having another team of docs look at him, like a second opinion, would make me feel better and also having a relationship with the doctors in the hospital by your house may be beneficial down the road if there are other problems that arise.(hopefully this will not be an issue) With all of this said, who knows what me or any of us would do in your shoes. I am just thankful that he is so close to coming home. Congratualtions!!
With my limited information, I would keep him put in Conn until he was able to go home. Even though it would suck to be displaced for another week, learning the new hospital/doctors/nurses might just suck more.
BTW, I am THRILLED that the precious batchild will be coming home in a week. Rock on Charlie, you are the toughest little miracle I know.
Unless there are major reasons that you need to get home this week, I would keep him wear he is. We had the choice of moving our babies closer to home after they were so many weeks old, but we decided it would be easier on them to stay in the same place. They were familiar with everything and everyone. I am so excited for all of you. Best wishes. Whatever you decide will be right for you.
Yay Charlie!
I think I would stay put for the week.
1. you won't have to deal with a new team of doctors with possibly different opinions about a release date, antibiotics, etc. And perhaps unnecessary tests for Charlie.
2. Charlie won't be stressed out by an ambulance ride, a new place, new people, new germs.
3. you won't have to worry about someone else driving your baby hundreds of miles without you, over possibly icy roads.
but all this would be moot if I thought my son were receiving substandard care and just wanted him out of this particular hospital as soon as possible...
I have absolutely no idea what I would do. But I am thrilled that the batbaby is doing so well.
First, I am so glad to hear that Charlie's doing so well these days. Bottle feedings! 5 pounds! Breathing room air! These are all HUGE accomplishments.
I assume this is not assvice, as it was directly solicited, so here is (are?) my two cents: I'd leave him where he is now, until you can take him home directly. No real reason, that's just my gut feeling.
Whatever you choose, I wish you an uneventful couple of weeks and a safe trip home with your gorgeous son.
I think you've gotten a lot of really good advice about waiting the week and then taking him home yourself.
For your peace of mind though, would it be possible to have an appointment set up with your new pediatrician at home just so s/he can get to know Charlie and then if you have any problems you have a local person to call? I think that's what I would opt for if I were you. Thrilled to hear how well he's doing!!
You've been displaced this long, I think I would wait another week. New germs, doctors, blah blah blah like has already been said. When planning your route home, maybe map out the hospitals on the way? Not that you'll need them, but just for peace of mind.
Wow, home. Nothing better than that.
Well since you asked for it. I would--Hey wait a minute. Didn't you already say that you were going to keep The Bat where he is until a week after he was all stable and stuff? Yes. Yes, you did. You're a sly one you are. You almost had me there for a second. With a trickster like you around The Bat will be quite the fun guy when he gets old enough to play with the other younguns. You are sooo going to continue rocking as a mama. I'd continue raving about how cool you are but right now I must get ready for my nephew's party.
I would wait the week. I think having the people who know his situation best care for him one more week will give him a stronger homecoming.
Whatever you decide, it sounds like there will be a baby, a real baby, sleeping in your house soon.
Amazing isn't it? Congratulations.
Oh gosh, all I can say is... HOORAY! Charlie is coming home and, whichever hospital he spends the last week or so in, he's doing well and he'll be home so, so soon.
First of all, I am so happy to hear he will be going home soon. What wonderful news!
It's really hard to say what I would do in your situation. It depends so much on the specifics of where you are staying, the hospital near home etc. But... I think I would have him transported to the nearby hospital for a few rasons. I think it would be reallt good to know local Dr.s etc in case you had questions. I would want to be in my house a few days before bringing him home so I could make sure everything was ready. I am also terrified of the idea of driving a newborn so far, especially since my own son HATED the car and screamed the whole way (5 minutes :) home.
But then I could see being totally terrified waiting for the ambulance to arrive, and maybe having difficulty with the new hospital staff etc. It sounds like an insurance nightmare, and it seems possible the cost of the ambulance ride would be more than the cost of another week in Conn. And if the tranfer meant a longer hospital stay, I would absolutely keep him where he is and them bring him home. So either way there is good and bad. I'm sure whatever decision you made will be the right one.
And either way, he will be home soon! I am so happy for you all.
Glad to hear that Batman is doing well! Hope that Julie & Paul are as well.
Hey BTW, this weekend I saw an ad for First Response and it said something like, basically, you CAN be a little bit pregnant. And I thought of you. That's all.
I would be scared to take him home..he's still so young and needs as much of a womb environment as he can get for as long as possible. Can you give that to him at home?
Our boy was having bradys until past his due date..they kept offering to send him home with a monitor but we were afraid to do that. It was only when he was 10 lbs and starting to need more stimulation that we decided, okay, we'll take him home.
Of course it's your decision, but I would have him transferred and kept in the NICU as long as possible.
I second Jill's advice.
Eager to hear your decision... but since you solicited what others would do: I'd have him transported to the hospital near your house via ambulance.
Reason?
When I took my full-term newborn home from the hospital, I was exceedingly nervous when I saw just how teeny she was in that infant car seat. And we literally lived about two miles from the hospital. Can't imagine making a long (4-hour?) drive with such a bitsy bundle.
That's just me. Either way, so glad Charlie will be home soon!
Happy New Year indeed.
Only because you'll be a lot more comfortable at home and can get some important things done at night while Charlie is still in the nursery, I would take him to the hospital near you.
You've got to take good care of mom and dad too.
Glad to hear he's doing so much better.
Stay where he's at. Another hospital, a different routine, new people on his case (with perhaps different protocol) and possible risk for infection (exposure to new germs). We drove over an hour (if time allowed) to have our daughter at the same hospital each time.
Just sayin cuz you asked...
I have ZERO experience, but I thought I'd pose a question: if you had him transported home via ambulance, would you be able to use some of your time that week getting the house back in order, the nursery ready, your mind somewhat recovered, and sleeping in your own bed? It just seems like that option might provide for a tad more ease in resuming your life.
But, as I said, I have no effin clue.
I would leave him where he is and take him home next week. As noted by several others, the staff there is already familiar with him and I susoect they will be in a better position to assess his progress than the staff in the other unit. Also, I would think that a move to another hospital would be stressful on you and Paul--you would have to familiarize yourself with the new staff and if you're anything like me, would spend enitrely too much energy mentally questioning the merits of any differences in their protocols, etc. and worrying that this had been done "wrong" in this NICU (or the other, for that matter).
Anyway, it's great to hear that he's doing do well and that he'll be home soon.
I don't know what I'd do. Probably e-mail you and beg you for advice.
My gut instinct is to have him transported by ambulance (because I'd be terrified of a drive with a preemie), but I think that it's probably a six of one, half a dozen of the other decision. And that whatever you chose was the right one for your little family.
I am so happy to hear that Charlie is doing so much better. I would keep the baby in the hospital for another week, then take him home. But of course I am not Charlie's mom.
I. would. stay. put. for all of the reasons given.
It's true a s-load of paraphernalia probably still needs to be unpacked and set up (HOHOHO!JINGLE), but not all at once.
Well, shoot, I just looked up paraphernalia to make sure I spelled it correctly -- and never knew that it means "a woman's personal property, exclusive of her dowry."
So, a s-load of baby stuff.
Personally I'd keep him in CT for another week. Rather than the stress of an ambulance ride (not the stress to the baby, the stress to ME) no matter how safe it is, a new hospital with new doctors and nurses who I wouldn't know or trust yet, and having to readjust to a new place,I don't think I would want that.
Also, I would want him to be with people in a place that he's been from the start, because although the new hospital would know his history from reading his chart, the same hosptial has SEEN his history first hand. The nurses know his cries, his movements, his personality, and in the unlikely event something went wrong, I'd want someone there who was somewhat emotionally invested in his health. I also can't help but wonder if it wouldn't be a little scary for him to have to adjust to meeting all new people with different sights, sounds, and smells, just to have to leave in a week and deal with a whole new set of experiences at home. It's a lot to go through for an adult let alone a newborn.
I would want the first time he left the hospital to be the first time he went home. Period.
Of course, this is all assuming I know and like the docs and nurses at the current hospital.
I hate to think I would ever have to experience this first hand. I really feel for you guys. You've done such a great job holding yourself together mentally and emotionally, you're really great parents. Whatever choice you make, I know you're making it with the best interest of your child at heart. Regardless if it's different than what I think I would do.
Charlie is a very lucky baby to have such wonderful parents. I can't wait for you to have him home!!
Like many others, I'm voicing an opinion here ONLY because you invited me to do so.
I would keep him in the current hospital and then move him later, directly home.
Why schlep the kid all over the place? He's doing well, you're doing well enough. The ambulance will be all scary with the new people, there are risks during transport, the new hospital is a majillion times more likely to screw something up. Etceterah.
Being far from home is certainly difficult and inconvenient. And what with your home being states away from the hospital, you're feeling that.
The problem is that we're all stupid grown-ups, and we think of home as a place.
Charlie knows better. Home is a person: You. As long as you're nearby, he's close to home.
So his only difficulties and inconveniences are the things you've been worrying and blogging about: tubes and needles and that pesky thing with the lungs moving all the time. (Which the Bat's getting the hang of, apparently.)
Keep him safe and comfy. Then take him "home."
Then... Big. Internet. Party. Be advised: the word, "huzzah" may make an appearance.
--FD
No advice here. I can tell you what I suspect I would do, but I don't really know. We spent 9 weeks with one and 10 weeks with the other, but were within 30 minutes of home. I also am going to be the voice of reason and slightly pessimistic.
First of all, if you move him home, you can do things at home to get ready for him. You can be more relaxed as he comes home. On the other side of that, the other docs at the other hospital may have different rules for coming home. You might talk to the ones at the other place to see what they say. I was only allowed to bring AJ home because when I did because I was a nurse and experienced with rescusitation. He was still having A's and B's occasionally, but recovering with no stimulus.
Will he be coming home on any meds? If so, you might want to consider getting those filled ASAP. I live in Dallas, and still had trouble with any place but my hospital pharmacy filling the heart meds both kids came home on(theophylline sp?). I ended up having to bed the NICU to give me enough meds until my pharmacy could get the stuff in the next day.
If he stays at the current hospital will he definately be coming home? Is there any chance he could step backwards? If so, depending on how high the chance, you might consider that he is more likely to have problems with a transfer.
Last but not least, and possibly a stupid concept. Is the ambulance transfer going to cost you more than staying there?
I probably said more than I should have. I don't mean to add to your worries. I can't begin to think about what I would have done if my child was 2 hours from home. Definately check into what if any meds he is coming home on. There is usually a 24 hour turnaround time on pharmacies ordering so if you can get the script before discharge it will help. The last thing you want is to drive 2 hours home with him and then one of you drive all over town trying to find a pharmacy that happens to have the med in stock. (It is NEVER the one near home.)
Without having read the other answers: I'd opt for minimizing all risks and wait. That way, he'd have another week of relative peace and quiet and wouldn't be unnecessarily unsettled by the journey to another hospital.
Congrats on Charlie's great development, b.t.w.! I'm so glad to hear that your son is almost ready to be taken home with you, where he belongs! :-))
WWMFITCD?
Who cares? You're mom and dad. Your call is -always- the right one.
If it were me, like most here, I'd just let him alone. He's having a difficult enough time as it is, despite his progress.
HOWEVER ... now that "going home" is in sight, get your car seat stuff together. Make sure you've got it installed correctly. Make sure you can sit in the front comfortably with the baby in the back. Make sure you don't have to replace your car to fit the seat. (I speak from experience: Ford Mustangs, despite their having LATCH restraints, do not hold child seats well.) Learn how to put the baby in the seat, so you can do it quickly and not annoy the nursing staff. You don't want them to decide you're too stupid to take him home.
On the other hand, think of it like I said when you were trying to decide how many embryos in New York: This is a problem you WANT to have.
Congrats, hon. :)
Unless they can guarantee that he'd only be in the hospital closer to home for the same amount of time, I'd wait the week. Because getting to take him home, in your car, with you, is the best gift of all. I'm so glad he is doing so well! It makes me weep to know how he is growing and improving.
Oh wow. A poll, a poll! How fun!
And Charlie is ready to come home!!! YIPEEE!!!!
I'd probably leave him in for another week but that's would just be me and my phobias, which may or may not be yours, so do whatever the heck you please, my dear : )
Hooray for imminent Charlie homecoming!
That said, I would wait the week. We had to take T. to another hospital after we'd got her home for two days, and I really really wished at the time that I'd been able to just have her treated at the hospital where she was born. I was used to it, they knew her (though she had not been in the NICU, her doctor was on-staff there and could have been easily consulted, etc.)
I'd wait a week and take him home. One less move for him, less stress, less chance for contact with germy people and one more week to gain weight and continue care.
Yay, you get to take him home soon! Wonderful!