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02/24/2005
14 Kids and Pregnant Again!
This morning I watched 14 Kids and Pregnant Again! I wondered what that exclamation point meant. Surprise? After 14 kids, you'd think they'd suspect that hittin' it sideways after Sunday Bible meetin' just might lead to pregnancy. Horror? Well, I was horrified when I realized that when the current generation reproduces, there will be enough of this family to overthrow the government, an effort I would happily support if I didn't suspect they find the current administration just a little too liberal. Dismay? "Where, oh, where will we find more of that adorable floral upholstery fabric to make yet another voluminous jumper for our potential daughter-to-be?"
As I contemplated the enigma lurking within that single inscrutable punctuation mark, it occurred to me that the writers probably spent a fair chunk of time struggling with the title of the show, finally throwing up their hands in surrender and going with the obvious. I wish they'd worked a little harder, though, to punch it up a little. Everybody Loves Jim Bob? Sects and No City? God's-Will-More Girls? My Pelvis Is Made of Bubble Yum!?
The program showcases the Duggar family of Springdale, Arkansas, evangelical Christians — of course — who "decided to let God dictate the size of [their] family." Now, why do I suspect God is pacing the halls of Heaven, wearing a groove in the clouds, clawing at his snowy-white mane, muttering, "Good Me almighty, I gave you people birth control for a reason..."?
Anyway, Michelle and Jim Bob — shown here in giant disembodied head mode — met as teenagers, married shortly thereafter, and then all Hell broke loose. A long parade of children would follow, nearly one a year, all with names beginning with J. (Strangely, Jesus has not yet made the cut, while Jinger, pronounced Ginger, has.) There are two sets of twins, nine boys and five girls. The children, who frequently wear matching clothes, create an interesting but vertiginous optical illusion when all that plaid is set in motion.
It turns out there's a name for women who give birth to more than ten children. (No, this is not the setup for a joke, but, hey, feel free to make up your own.) It's great-grand-multipara. It's also mother of the year, at least according to the Arkansas legislature, who honored Michelle for her contributions to the local grocery store's profit margin the rhetorical arsenal of Zero Population Growth the hallowed ideal of motherhood, which apparently involves a cascade of pre-Raphaelite hair and a charming high-waisted frock topped with a white collar the size of a dinner plate. The show closes with the birth of the family's fifteenth child, another boy. According to Michelle, she'd happily have more children.
I can see it now. I am setting the TiVo even as we speak to catch the inevitable premiere of 15 Kids and Her Uterus Exploded!
Comments (115)
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Can't imagine it myself but to each their own I suppose. My mom had 6 kids and where we lived that was a HUGE family with all the lovely comments you can imagine.
Lots of kids, yes; but comparing them to Hitler Youth? Don't you think that was taking things a bit too far?
Gah! Just. Gah. and? Ugh.
I saw the show a while ago and it was a bit like watching a car crash in slow motion - I just couldn't look away.
I also couldn't help doing the math to see how much of her life she had spent pregnant.
My favorite part of the article is where she explains, "Once the kids are in bed, Jim Bob and I have a little time alone together." Well, I should hope so. If y'all don't stay on top of this, an ovulation might just go to waste.
Probably, Rivka, yes. Sorry about that.
Now, THAT'S ewwwwww.
Oh yes, I've seen them on TV! It is mind boggling to me. The trips to the grocery store? The dresses that the girls wear? And that hairstyle that is so so 80s. Whew.
This special fascinated me. I was especially riveted by the grocery shopping scene, and after the shopping when they made like 10 dishes of "tater tot casserole". Gag.
I also found it difficult to watch because I became obsessed with the mother's hair. What is the purpose of the two giant wings at her temples? And how does she find the time to tease it into that position?
And why does the mother also have to dress exactly like the daughters?? WHY??
And I couldn't help thinking that there is NO WAY Jim Bob REALLY wants to come home to that family every night. He's definitely got a hot young mistress somewhere.
first time poster....you nearly made me pee my pants...thanks for brightening my day.......
I'm embarassed to admit I watched this show, not once but twice. My take on the exclamation point is that it gives you permission to HURL that much more violently.
I've lurked on a "tons of kids" parenting board (because I'm a glutton for punishment) and this concept of having as many children as God gives you is known as "quiverful"; i.e., your children being a quiver full of arrows or whatever. Now, if you can care for them, that's fine (though I do want to reach through the monitor and smack the women who think prayer is just as effective as carseats when you're trying to cram a family of 10 into an 8-seat vehicle. But I digress). But it's not anything I would ever do. I personally think God gave me a brain as well as a uterus, and expects me to make my own decisions about such things, rather than leaving it all up to Him. But then, I don't believe in a God who makes those decisions anyway, so it's kind of a moot point.
Oh. my. god. Wow. Now that is truly a litter of children. Thanks for sharing that, Julie. LOL at your comments.
i remember reading about this family shortly after #15 was born (http://tinyurl.com/6h4mz). i found it interesting that jim bob was a state legislator at one time.
Anyone wanna bet that at least half those kids grow up to be childfree by choice? 'Cause I know if I had spent my childhood raising younger siblings I'd be all over wanting to do it again once I could physically reproduce.
Think of the drive-by comments SHE gets. Maybe they just bounce off that hair.
I wrote about quiver-full folks a few years back. Brett's cousin is quiver-full. Her first son will be seven in May; the oldest daughter will be six in August; the next son will be four in March, the next daughter will be three next November, then the youngest daughter just turned one and she is due again in September. She has a baby every fifteen to nineteen months. They are all homebirthed, they are all homeschooled. The girls wear dresses and they live on a farm. She is self-righteous as hell.
There is a ton online about quiver-full folk and I just pity the women who buy this and who are infertile because man, they're lives SUCK.
I dont understand why you have to be so sarcastic about it. I'm an ultra Orthodox Jew, and in my circles birth control are only used in extreme circumstances. My in laws have 12 beauitful children. 1 of my aunts has 15 and one has 14. as a matter of fact, my mother laments her "small" family - ONLY five. My best friend is 28, she already has six. She is definitely headed for 10+. I think that having a huge family is a beautiful thing. Sadly, living in the Orthodox Jewish community makes people like me sore thumbs; at 28 and no kids whilst my friends and cousins reproduce like guppies, I feel like an outcast.
I admire this family. as a matter of fact, they have it EASY. They are not paying costly private school tuition and camp costs for their kids, unlike my in laws and aunts. They have a huge house, whereas my in laws managed with five bedrooms. Whatever the case is, I just admire them, and I dont see why you need to be so sarcastic and even ambivelent about them. yeah, I'm jealous that I cant reproduce like that, bu I admire them greatly.
My aunt with her 15 was never interviewed by the media. She just lives her quiet happy life in upstate new york. (She is in her 40's and despreate to get pregnant again!!!)
I found the hair just...amazing. If it works for them...good! But I agree with the commenter who thinks many of the children will decide to be childless.
One of my best friends in HS was second oldest of 15 singletons. They were a pretty happy family, from my perspective. Last time I spoke to her, she had 8 of her own. Interestingly, she is the only one of her siblings with more than 3, I think (although I guess most of them still have time for more). If it's what a couple wants, and they are capable of caring for so many kids, both emotionally & financially (my mind boggles, but my friend is both a physician and an amazing mom), I don't see anything wrong with it. Once you start asking me to support them, though, that's where I draw the line.
Sadly, she has never offered me any of her beautiful kids. I would take one (or two) in a heartbeat.
This looks like a happy, healthy, well-adjusted family. So their values aren't yours....where's the tolerance that people scream about? Hmmm.
I think the hair is an Southern evangelical thing, not 80s. I'm only remembering this because I was rereading Ecology of a Cracker Childhood by Janisse Ray the other night. Women are not to cut their hair or wear slacks. (Hey, maybe that actually helps fertility...)
ick. with a side of bleh.
I dunno, they seem like nice enough, harmless people to me. Heck, my Irish, devout Catholic family has lots of branches with huge families! Not sure what the tipping point is (kids dressed alike? similar names? sheer numbers?), but I don't really think they're any more drive-by worthy than any other "good enough" parents.
It's gluttonous. Isn't gluttony a no-no?
::nods:: Thanks, previous posters! I was going to point out that I don't think their abundance of children has anything to do with being Christian-- I'm a firm God believer, and I think He's just fine with my (almost) 2-- it was that they were "quiverfull".
I just started reading up on this recently. The whole thing just doesn't sit well with me... While I'm sure God is happy when you "go forth and multiply", one of the sites suggests that you just keep having children you can't provide for because "God will provide". (http://quiverfull.com/articles.php/id13/) I just can't imagine God wants to keep bailing you out, especially when you made a conscious decision and put yourself in the situation.
(If I sound super-frustrated, I have a close relative who believes God will provide everything; and has quit jobs, stopped paying mortage, and continued to have children because he thought he'd just be taken care of. All of them are living in a van right now, and they could just as easily be living comfortably-- since God also provided this man a position at Apple and a good education.)
Still haven't seen the show, but need to.
Not the lifestyle for me, but I was impressed that they all appeared healthy, the family had no debt, the kids all played instruments, went on educational field trips, etc.
If the kids were neglected, the mom smoked crack and the family was on welfare, I'd agree that it was lousy, but why isn't this another example of different ways of having a family that we as women shouldn't judge?
You know, we are all convicted of certain truths. While I agree that we have free will and a brain to use, I don't think it's wise or even kind to judge a family this way. So their hair is outdated. So their names are kinda cheesy. So they eat gross stuff. So what? They are taking care of their children in ways that most people today aren't willing. We ship ours off to government schools (and even before that, day care) and we justify our choices to almost everything. These people care for their kids. That's a beautiful thing. And incidentally, the most cherished items of clothing I ever got were homespun.
I saw the show a few months ago and have no problem with her having 15 kids (not that it would matter if I did). It's nice that they want and love their kids but is it fair that her older children are so responsible for the younger ones? Helping out, yes, but they seem to be raising them in a sense.
Me, I'll stick with just one. To each his/her/their own.
Oh, god, I'm snorting things out my nose AGAIN. Thanks.
"Plenty of parents get frazzled with only a couple of children, so people wonder how we can possibly take care of 14. Believe it or not, I don't find it all that difficult."
Is that a mommy drive-by?
OK--I'll say it. I do think this is too many kids for one couple to handle at once, and no, I don't think I'm being judgmental about it. For those who think this is fine, let me ask: How many babies is too many? Should she stop at 18? 20? 25? Further, ask yourself--Would your opinion be any different if they were receiving government assistance?
I admit to having a pet peeve for names spelled one way and pronounced another. I admit, it's just my issue, but it pisses me off. I guess 'Jinger' can be Ginger but it still irks me. I knew a woman named Sheila who spelled it 'Shelia' and had an absolute fit when people would misspell her name. Umm, that's because you're spelling it WRONG and yes, there is a write and wrong way to spell things, so um, there. Ahem. Just had to get that off my chest ;)
Hail, yes, SarahAB. I would be PISSED if these people were sucking the public teat. It's her uterus. If it falls out on the street because she had 30 babies it's none of my business. Unless she sues the town to clean up the mess she left, honey.
And while we're on the issue of spelling, I guess I should note that there is a 'right' way and a wrong way to spell things. Hee hee.
I watched this as well.. I hope they dont go on welfare...
We watched. We grimaced. My husband believes the kids are severely beaten.
I can't believe that she spent $800 at Aldi. I went there once and spent $15 and couldn't carry it all in the house at once. Of course, it wasn't in bags, but still...
And ITA with all the hair comments. I spent the entire show screaming "GOOD GOD WILL SOMEONE TAKE THAT WOMAN TO THE HAIRDRESSER?"
hehehe, I made an entry about this a couple months ago. The entire thing freaked the shit out of me.
What channel was the show on? I wanted to see it, I live near the Duggars and am fascinated by the family. I wonder about the quality of life for all of them but hey, they seem to have it figured out. It helps that he makes plenty of money.
WooHoo! Arkansas in the HIZZOUSE!
Mr. Dugger ran for the US Senate a couple of years ago. I was going to post his website, but it's been taken down. Good thing, though, 'cause his "Issues" page would have given y'all strokes.
I'm with Peggy -- I have no problem with people having as many kids as they can afford to feed, clothe, and house, but this older kid is "assigned" a younger child crap? No way. A little help around the house? Fine. A free babysitter every now and then? Okay. But if Jim Bob and Michelle want 15 kids, then they oughta be prepared to TAKE CARE of 15 kids, not just take care of the newest one.
And the "J" names? What's next? Jujube? Jumanji? Jenga?
First time poster here, I've been reading your blog for awhile and may even consider starting one of my own. I saw this show around the time that I had my first miscarriage and I kept thinking how unfair it was that God would allow her to have 14 kids and not even let me have one. I've since gotten over that and currently have a baby on the way. I love the reference to God giving people birth control for a reason!
Wow, I thought disembodied heads were creepy back in photos taken of my family in the 70's. That photo is modern-creepy!
Pamela
I just miscarried my *sixth* child. What I wouldn't give to have my little one back. It doesn't matter if your first baby or your tenth is lost, it still hurts. To call a family with more than 2.5 children a "litter" diminishes the value of the children.
Each was wanted, each was welcomed. Our sixth will be missed forever.
I am one of those freakish Tons of Kids moms, I guess. Snicker away, feel sorry for me, pray to your God du Jour that my husband keeps his well-paying job with good insurance so we don't have to suck from the public's sagging teat, count my kids aloud as we walk through the mall, ask if they are all ours, ask if they all have the same father (they do), tell me my hands are full, that I am crazy, that it is better me than you, ask if I have ever heard of birth control, tell me I better get cable TV (we have satellite), ask if I drive a school bus (ha ha! everyone's a Cleveland Comedy Works headliner), ask if we are Mormon or Catholic (no and no), call my kids "the brood", etc, etc, and etc.
No, we are not trying to start our own basketball/baseball/football team. In fact, we would rather our kids become bookworms and artists than jocks.
But who am I to tell another what to do...
Ehh, I thought this show was pretty retch inducing too (especially that tater-tot casserole thing.) Yes, to each their own. However, I was pretty turned off by the serious gender stereotypes that were the rule in the Dugger household (the girls had to wear skirts at all times, tend to the children, help with the cooking and cleaning, etc., while the boys only chores were to take the trash out and be good little men. Not to mention the fact that the Mrs.' number one duty was to continue conceiving and birthing babies until her uterus fell out.) At least this family mostly provided for themselves, although I seem to recall that their family vehicles were donated by a local auto dealer.
At the end of the day, I'm sure these people disapprove of my lifestyle and life choices even more intensely than I theirs. I would certainly never seek them out to express my opinions, and if I'm ever in Arkansas and happen to bump into them I would certainly keep my opinions to myself.
(Sheesh, I guess I'm feeling a little snarky today...)
OUCH!
Saying God gave people birth control for a reason sounds a lot like God made people infertile for a reason.
Who are you, or I, or any one of us to judge the number of children someone choses to have.
Now the matching clothing and weird hair, that's another story.
These nuts are BREEDING, NOT parenting. I don't care how "well balanced" this appears to some people, how unfair to all those children. A big part of growing up and gaining self esteem comes from how important and loved you feel from your MOM AND DAD, not mostly from some older sibling in charge of making sure your underwear is right side out and your nose is clean. Sure, they're learning how to function successfully in a group, but how about independently and as INDIVIDUALS? Not to mention that there is no way these parents have the time to get to know each child as a person, an individual, to nurture each one as special and important. They're leaving all that up to the older children to do for the younger ones, and, being CHILDREN themselves, they haven't a clue. How sad...
Isn't it nice that life is about balance. I can be happy for her with her 15 kids, because there are benefits to that situation. But not everyone can have 15 kids- the world would become overpopulated 9at a much higher rate than currently). But, if no one wanted to have kids, the population would decrease over time until gradually the human race would die out. Balance. There's room for both of us, those who want massive families and those who don't.
Okay, there's my attempt to play nice :-)
I have mixed feelings about sitting in judgment on this family, though clearly that's what the producers of the TV show have invited us to do. To snark on the hair, alliterative names, and matching outfits is irresistible. And that photo, presumably taken when their oldest was their only? I find babies in tuxedo outfits unspeakably creepy. Creepier, even, than disembodied ghostly paternal heads floating in patriarchal omnipotence and omniscience.
But my discomfort with these folks doesn't extend to all families with lots of children. My husband works with Chasidic Jews and so we know quite a few couples who have a baby every year or two. And I read several Catholic attachment parenting blogs with moms who do the same. But those children seem loved and valued in a gentle, joyful way that seems missing from the Duggers' (sp?) household. What makes me reeeeally uncomfortable with fundamentalist Christian child-rearing is what Angie mentioned, the approach to discipline that includes total obedience and the belief that being Christian http://www.family.org/resources/itempg.cfm?itemid=132>requires beating your children, http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/index.php?id=11>preferably with an implement other than the hand.
Oh shit, Julie, I hope I haven't just sparked a spanking debate in your comments section. That's the next big thing after breastfeeding and sleep training sure to bring out impassioned advocates on all sides. Oh well.
It was totally the show I was thinking about in your earlier post... I thought my husband was going to crap himself when he saw it. ha ha
Seriously though, it's sad when kids can't be kids.
doesn't bother me (though the matching outfits do) as long as it's not on my dime...ask me to pay and you don't get any children until you can provide for them yourself. Personally, I'd love a big family (like 6 kids) but think I'd hang myself at 10, let alone 15!