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03/11/2005
Turns out you can judge a book by its cover
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| Infants and Mothers: Differences in Development, T. Berry Brazelton, M.D. | Your Baby and Child from Birth to Age Five, Penelope Leach |
| Baby requires support of an adult to stand | Baby stands proud and free, unpropped and unassisted (unless there's a concealed steel rod somewhere I don't know about) |
| Baby is modestly clad in sporty rugby onesie | Baby performs a ringing indictment of restrictive social norms by going naked and unafraid into the harsh, cold world of the bookstore |
| Baby betrays unattractive tendency toward homophobia by making a stereotypical gesture of limp-wristedness — perhaps an unkind swipe at the pinky-ringed doctor? | Baby signals gang members just outside the frame to come kick that playa-hatin' baby's ass, yo |
| Advantage: Leach |
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| What to Expect the First Year, Arlene Eisenberg, Heidi E. Murkoff, and Sandee E. Hathaway, B.S.N. | The Happiest Baby on the Block, Harvey Karp, M.D. |
| Cartoon baby drawn in an awkward perspective that seems to warp the very fabric of space | Real baby surrounded by an attractive pink aura of health and well-being |
| Baby's hairdo constitutes an unfortunate throwback to the darkest days of the overmoussed '80s, like mine at present | Baby's hairdo looks an awful lot like mine on its very best day ever |
| Baby clings to a stuffed bear as if it were a life preserver and he a floundering castaway bobbing in the briny drink | Baby embraces the calm but heightened consciousness brought about by the devoted practice of Iyengar yoga. Also, feet! |
| Advantage: Karp |
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| Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care, 8th Edition, Benjamin Spock, M.D., and Robert Needlman, M.D. | The Baby Book, William Sears, M.D., and Martha Sears, R.N. |
| Two babies; a manageable, streamlined number unlikely to alarm a feckless parent-to-be | Four babies; a shocking and profligate display of the repellent and uniquely American viewpoint that more is better |
| Babies touch to show their profound acceptance of each other despite differences in color and culture | Babies are so uncomfortable with the proximity of the Other that they stare determinedly off to the left, unwilling to meet each other's eyes and acknowledge their fundamental equality |
| Two naked babies' bottoms are adorable | Four naked babies' bottoms are downright gratuitous and probably got the photographer thrown in the pokey when he showed up to pick up his pictures at Fotomat |
| Advantage: Spock |
