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04/19/2005
How quickly they forget
OH MY GOD THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE IT'S EVERYWHERE MY GOD MY GOD THE DRIPPING AND IT'S ALL DOWN MY LEGS AND OH GOD OH GOD ON THE FLOOR AND THE WALLS AND MY LEGS AND MY SOCKS AND OH GOD THE PAIN WHERE IS IT ALL COMING FROM I CAN'T SEE I CAN'T SEE I'M TRYING BUT GOD THE BLOOD DISEMBOWELED WITH A GARDEN WEASEL OH ALL OVER MY HANDS NOW CAN'T STOP HELP ME SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE MY GOD IT'S ALL OVER EVERYWHERE AND BETWEEN MY LEGS AND OH GOOD CHRIST THERE ARE CLOTS OH GOD JESUS WILL ALL GREAT NEPTUNE'S OCEAN OH GOD I KNOW I'M DYING WON'T SOMEONE PLEASE HELP MEEEEEEEEE HELLLLLLP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Oh. Wait.
Cycle day 1, for the first time in a year.
Comments (63)
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Welcome back. Gah.
Welcome home, Aunty Flow. We've missed you...
...NOT!!!!
yeah, all the assholes in my breastfeeding playgroup have 6-11 month olds and no period plus their babyweight was the easiest weight they ever lost AND they're all thinner now than they were in high school. assholes. my period came back at 12 weeks pp and i've only lost three pounds.
Rayne, I'll come right over. You can create a diversion and I'll key their cars. Deal?
You're all grown-up now! Congrats.
:)
Joking, in case anybody doubts my reading comprehension, lol.
oh the joy of getting af back! NOT!
That first period post baby is a bitch. I feel your pain.
Yee ha, riding the red again? :)
Copycat.
Rayne & Julie, can I get in on the car-keying? I also started back at 12 weeks--the injustice! Somewhere I read that women who have "higher fat stores" are more likely to start back again earlier. Um, hello--who doesn't have high fat stores right after giving birth?
ROFLMAO.
But sorry to hear, anyway.
Personally, I'm still giggling at the "Garden Weasel" reference. Good choice. Always a crowd pleaser.
Wasn't there an ad for a "Golden Weasel" too? THAT almost sounds like a sex toy....
or is it just me?
ahem
(relurking)
if my mom were your mom, she would send you red and white carnations to celebrate. gosh, your post took me back to my first time! if I only knew then...
The first one is always a Bitch.
you are too funny!!!! pausing to remember how to breathe now...
I'm still waiting though. PCOS + BF = long time. Not looking forward to the first one - the longer it waits the harder it will be. (cd 370+ here - it's been over a year since the lovely postpartum stuff stopped). you're so helpful to paint such a lovely picture.
though if it's just maternal fat stores, I should have had it a hundred times by now - I have more than plenty of that stored up!
ech... sorry girl. if it makes you feel better, mine arrived 8 weeks pp and i was still pumping! unusual? i asked the nurse practitioner. "very"
figures. i'm rarely on the favorable side of statistics with these things...
Well, that was mildly horrifying.
I believe in sharing the love.
Have you called Judy Blume, because that was like, um, right out of "Are you there G-d? It's me, Julie." Hee hee.
You scared the holy shit out of me until near the end I thought "oh wait!" and then saw your last sentence and yes...
Duh.
Like I'm not frazzled enough today.
I almost jumped in the car and started driving north!
I.love.gore.
Well, so your first one is badâbut for me, once I had a baby, menstruation went totally pain-free to the extent that I don't feel it coming and badly tag my undergarments. So maybe that'll be in your future. I mean, without the tagging, I hope.
congratulations!
or..something.
I think the fat stores theory is bunk. I've got enough fat stores to share with two or three people.
Would you like some? I'm willing to share. I'm generous that way.
My first period after my daughter was around 14 months after she was born, and that was about a month after I stopped pumping at work.
Best I can tell it's breastfeeding + genetic predisposition + luck.
Are you there God? It's me, Julie. :)
oops. emily beat me to it.
Nothing makes you feel more girly than bleeding like a stuck pig. Ew. I even grossed myself out.
Well congratulations! LOL
I was dreading my first period after having the twins. It finally showed after when they were almost 18 months old. I ran out and stocked up on pads and plugs only to have it leave within 3 days. WTF?
You'd think your first cycle in 26 months would be a bit more, um, eventful.
No second period yet. Not that I am bitching about it. HAHA
Tequila helps with cramps. Not really, but if you drink enough of it, you won't give a rats ass that you have them. ;)
Oh, gosh, I was happy to get it back after almost two years without it, the curiosity was killing me. It used to be awful and painful (like yours pre-baby) but now, it's just ducky! No cramps, zip, zilch, nada. And I'm still breastfeeding every two-three hours at 15 months but it came back three months ago. I'm just hoping that this means maybe all my yucky infertility stuff might magically be fixed and I can get pregnant again without all the poking and prodding (well, I guess there must be a little poking ;-))
You scared the crap out of me! "OhmyGODohmyGODohmyGOD... wait. She HAD the baby."
Intelligence isn't my strong suit, but we got bucketloads of worry and empathy here.
I got my period back at 12 weeks. I've had four of them and I can tell you in a light and airy way that they SUCKED ASS. All of them.
Stoopid period.
Oh, and just because you started your period again, this is for you...
Party Down
My first one was horrid. Actually all of the last couple ones have been bad. Ugh
Thanks for the imagery.
Bummer Julie, the crimson tide is a bitch.
Heh... They Lie...
I know exactly how you feel.
I went four years without a period. Yes. Four. Years. It was thanks to back-to-back-to-back pregnancies and serial nursing. I had an easier time getting pregnant *without* a period than when I am holding monthly vampire tea parties.
Congrats on seeing red. If you are happy about it.
PLUG IT UP! PLUG IT UP! PLUG IT UP! I'm throwing imaginary tampons and pads at you a la Carrie.
You wacko! LMAO!!
i started today, too! not the first about a baby, cuz no baby here, but we can still be Period Pals! tell me when you fling a clot that hits the white vanity or tile floor! oh, wait, that's me. sorry. Jaine, you cracked me up. Plug it up!
not the first AFTER a baby, i meant.
Sorry about the gruesomeness, but, Great Neptune's ocean, I just can't stop laughing.
--Bugs
After about six months of no period after my son was born I went to the on-gyn. I was nursing so I wasn't too worrited. Diagnosis--
I was pregnant again.
Moral to the story:
Don't wait until the first post baby period to start using protection.
On the upside, not having my period for about 22 straight months was great!!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Good one, suey.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha motherfucking ha.
When my periods returned after Ben was born, they sucked ass. It was, like, three pantiliner days, four super-absorbent tampon days, and three more pantiliner days, every fucking month. Much better since I got the Mirena progestin-releasing IUD. My typical period now is nine pantiliner days—I used only one tampon in 2004. Of course, nine-day periods still suck ass, but no gushing clots and no cramps are all right by me. And every now and then, I skip a period altogether.
Yeah, I love those periods when you need a mop.
oh sheesh suey. That ain't about to happen to our Miss Julie. Not a chance. (dammit)
I still say you should try the tequila though...
I'm not even bleeding and it sounds good. Hmmm... 18 points still left today for weight watchers. I have tequila- 2oz= 2 points. Margarita mixer = 4 points per serving.
Wanna come get drunk with me Julie?
Hey, not to upstage ya'll, but I got my first period a mere 5 weeks postpartum.
I knew I should have breastfed.
I see from a comment above that I'm not the only one who thought of Carrie when reading this post.
I vote Tequila too.
Just sayin'...
God I wish I was one of those women who didn't have it for a year or more. I nursed both my kids for 2 years and both times I went a maximum of 3 months before the curse came back. It's so not fair.
On the plus side, I was rather irregular before, and now, I'm so on time you can set your clocks by me. So no more wondering when it's coming.