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04/11/2005
Shorts
On Friday Charlie had his four-month pediatrician's visit. He is in the 25th percentile for height, weight, and head circumference according to his actual age, weighing in at 13 lbs. 13 oz.
He is now a baby of folds. I am storing my extra set of car keys between a few of his extra chins, and I can't find my voluminous file of medical-related receipts but I am fairly certain he's mischievously tucked it away within the fleshy pouch behind his left knee. If I can't pry it out I'll be sending the entire baby to the IRS, arriving at the post office with a squirming package marked, "HAND CANCEL PLEASE."
Charlie also had his routine immunizations. I know this is a controversial topic, the decision whether and when to vaccinate a kid. We are going the conventional route. I have wholly bought into the notion that a social contract applies.
I understand that many people feel differently, and have serious concerns about the safety of vaccinations. Not me, man. I like to live dangerously. In fact, I've requested that Charlie's shots be super-sized with an extra measure of mercury. I am hoping it will give him super powers.
Things I have dropped on Charlie's head while carrying him in the sling
- Potato chips. Crumbs removed with a greasy moistened fingertip, then deposited neatly into my mouth. (Fingers then wiped on sling, which is fortunately machine washable.)
- Caffeine-free Diet Pepsi. Licked away efficiently through catlike contortion of upper spine.
- Latest Pottery Barn Kids catalog. Required trip to emergency room to ascertain that Charlie had no concussion, and assurance that the resulting dent in his forehead will mend without issue. Impatiently awaiting next catalog to see whether they make a line of tastefully personalized infant-sized helmets.
My heartfelt thanks for the kind advice and support you all offered during last week's freakout. Things are better now. I think my hormones have righted themselves once more after the crash brought about by the end of pumping, and I think Charlie has improved noticeably. I also think I'm happier having ended my unhealthy relationship with the Lactina Select.
The other night I was sitting on the couch with Charlie snoozing prone across my bosom. "Hey," said Paul, "you can do that now."
And indeed I can. I can hold the baby close to my body without cringing or shying away.
Yes, things are better now.
Paul is distracting Charlie during the tempestuous half-hour before lunch.
Julie: He's really staring at you. I think he likes you.
Paul: Nah. He's just memorizing my face so he can pick me out of a police lineup later.
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They do make baby helmets, but not at Pottery Barn. I saw them in the one step ahead catalog. I laughed when I saw it, but maybe does Charlie need one! (just joking)
And good luck getting those reciepts. We have a hard enough time getting the carrots and peas out from under Fuller's third chin!
So, are you gonna show us any more pics of Charlie? I want to see his triple chin! ;o)
Wait, they make shots with extra mercury? Shit. Nobody told me. I want my kids to have superpowers, too. Plus, it might make them weigh a little more, what with the heavy metals and all.
So glad you are feeling better. What a time you have had--you are one strong woman. Hope Charlie gets your sense of humor AND Paul's. I had all those vaccinations, too, and look at me! No, wait, that may not be good news...
Our damn hormones! They get us everytime. I'm so glad you're feeling better.
Just remember Super Heros have hard heads and amazing super powers. He'll just continue to amaze you.
Spiderman told me during his waffle this morning...totally with is sweet beautiful 4 year old face...."Hey mommy...(he stood up..ran over to me) look my pee pee "growed" ..and it's really big" HOW DELIGHTFUL!
Doesn't he know he isn't allowed to hit me with boy stuff like that until after the first cup of coffee. Thank God I caught covered his mouth as he was calling his sisters over to look! Never a dull moment. :) I stood there with a shocked,stunned, and speechless look and finnally said..oh wow buddy lucky for. Hmmm. Now go finish eating. lol! Happy Monday!
I'm glad it's better. I was pretty much ready to leave my kid on the side of the road with a free sign stapled to his diaper last week, so I hear you.
Yay for better!
He is a male, he was staring at you thinking "Hey, aren't her tits smaller?"
:) For everything.
Hooray for Charlie's fleshy folds and for being well on the charts for his actual age! Kudos to you for that -- you and Paul have struggled with the feeding and medication, and look, it's working! (My reflux baby, not a preemie, took several months after diagnosis to even begin to catch up -- got an extra chin around 6 months -- though he ended up by toddler age with suitable toddler round belly etc.)
And so glad to hear that the hormones are settling down and you're feeling better. Sounds like you definitely made the right decision for you and your family.
So glad Charlie's getting chubby. Your comment about his folds reminded me of something my husband said when my son was 5 months old. At that point, the kid was practically spherical (95th percentile for weight and 25th for height). Hubs was changing a diaper and digging poo out of the boy's many-layered thigh rolls. He shouted, "Oh my god! I found Jimmy Hoffa!"
We used the sling with my son and now use it with my daughter as well. The worst is when they are freshly bathed and you drop something in their hair. I've dropped bits of chocolate and without realizing it until it is melted and running! ;)
We're part of the social contract too. I really like the article.
You are really an inspiration--I have been reading you for a while and don't have children but still am continually astonished by what you accomplish and the humor with which you accomplish it. Every last woman I know who's stopped breastfeeding or pumping feels like they hit a wall for a while, but I'm glad to know you're feeling better. (p.s. Some of us never lose the behind-the-knee chub, so don't knock it. I hide an extra chapstick in mine.)
SO glad to hear from you and that it was just the weaning adjustment! And I'm totally with you on the social contract/herd immunity.
RE: folds of chub. Have you encountered the hidden fermentation processes of these folds yet? When my boy (lean at birth) plumped out, it took me a while to figure out that I really had to work at getting milk out of every crevice if I didn't want stinky chunks of gunk to form in there...
So glad you are feeling better. Hormones are a bitch!
You are a brave woman for posting anything about vaccines. It is a troll attracting subject for sure. I too believe in the social contract and when the day comes I will vaccinate my kids for just about everything that is recommended (there are still one or two I'm not sure about and will have to do a bit more research before making a final decision) While I am still not convinced that all vaccines are quite as safe as our government would like us to believe I also don't think it is fair for me or my children to benefit from vaccines (And all of the unvaccinated kids are benefitting from them for sure) without also assuming some of the risk.
Sometimes I have very brief passing moments where I pine for the good old days when doctors were gods and we did whatever they said without questioning. All this knowledge can be so guilt inducing that sometimes ignorance starts to sound like bliss.
Machine washable, darling. That's a new feature.
I once filled my son's ear with salad dressing while eating with him asleep in the sling in my lap. After that I started spreading a napkin over the top of the sling to keep things from falling into it onto his head.
My mother remembers polio. As in, neighbor kids dying of it. Her father was a public health official, and her town was one of the ones sent a batch of vaccines as part of the testing of whichever vaccine was finished first (Salk? Sabin?). Family legend has it that her dad somehow got someone to crack the code on which was control and which was real, to make sure his family got the real stuff (the numbers were apparently already coming in from the earliest trials and they knew it was working). I don't know how that could be, or if it is even true, but it just goes to show that my family has a long pro-vaccination family.
And yeah, weaning can trigger a delayed "baby blues" or even mild PPD. I'm glad you're feeling better.
Glad you're feeling better. My friends think that because I'm staying home with my son that I must be depressed and deprived. Nuts.
My son's clothes have more food stains on them than mine, mostly around the feet. I'm terrible about dropping things on him!!!
When it comes to vaccines, read up on Stephanie Cave. All I have to add is Rotavirus, provirus, phenol, formaldehyde, and aluminum. The mercury is a dead issue because vaccines are being manufactered without. Social contract or not, do you really want to risk this beautiful baby that you worked SO HARD to bring into the world to unknowns and unneeded pharmaceuticals?
Hurray for fat babies! My son started big, (10lbs) and at 13 weeks he's his 16lbs. His fat rolls have fat rolls. My stepdaughter calls those rolls under the arms "chicken nuggets". He's got about four nuggets per pit!
You sound "sunny", dare I say? Good for you and thanks for sharing your Shorts. They made me smile.
I dropped a cordless phone on one of my babies (can't remember which one!?!) while nursing him/her. Multitasking. I still feel bad about it, but I feel even worse that I can't remember which child it was...
I don't think I ever dropped anything on the kid's head, but currently, during his tenure as a surly teenager, I've been tempted to. Remember that scene from A Fish Called Wanda, when the yappy little dogs finally got squished? Yeah, that's the one.
Glad to hear you're feeling better.
My boss has misplaced a file. Could you check one of Charlie's folds for me please?
And not only is Charlie memorizing your face for a police line up, but he's pracitising his surly teenager look. He'll need it in about 13 or 14 years so why not practice now.
"I can hold the baby close to my body without cringing or shying away."
See, THAT is just HUGE. That is just GLORIOUS. Almost as glorious as Charlie's new Michelin Man suit.
And I have to respond to Meepers's comment about the vaccines. Bear in mind that this is coming from someone fully advised of the relative merits and hazards of vaccines, and who has decided based on much research to selectively vaccinate on a delayed schedule, now. Ready? Okay?
Leave it alone. Really. When someone has made an informed decision, and Julie obviously has, just...leave it, unless you're asked. And especially do not make reference to the Extra Preciousness of someone's conceived-after-infertility child as a reason to do This or That or The Other Thing, because what is the point? To induce guilt and therefore acquiescence?
Naw. I'm sure no harm was meant. But if somebody came up to me and said, "Good gracious, woman, it took you five years to get knocked up and now you're turning down the Hep B vaccine? Do you WANT your baby to die?" I'd give that person a fat lip, and then I'd go home and cry. But my mind would not be changed.
Yay for feeling better and yay for little chumbawumba Charlie.
That's nothing, once I dropped the Tivo remote on Avery's head.
Glad that things are looking better...
I held off on the Hep B vaccine for both my girls, too. I couldn't see how a one-hour-old baby needed a shot to protect her against a disease acquired through sex or needle-sharing. But then again, kids these days...
Glad things are better and thrilled to hear of roly-poly Charlie. Is there anything cuter than a baby with too many folds to count? Sounds like a great check-up all around - even the shots. (Says a mom who's kids are totally caught up on theirs.)
Oh the chips - has Charlie sucked the salt and oil off your chippy fingers yet? My 7 month old has discovered the joys of trace amounts of ice cream from our fingers....it took a moment to register why she wasn't letting us remove our hands from her mouth (as in she'd pull them back to her yelling!)
Jo, you fucking ROCK.
I love you. And Julie.
Here's to informed decision-making, and a lack of nattering from the nabobs in the nut gallery!!
I really don't see, after a careful perusal of the post, where Julie was asking for anyone's assvice re: vaccinations.
What a low blow re: That Baby You Worked So Hard To Conceive.
That Baby deserves to have a life where he's protected against communicable disease (My Mom can tell you about the fun of whooping cough if you'd like), a life where he's allowed to learn to swim, skateboard, go to Scout Camp, even go skydiving someday if he chooses without the guilt trip of being the Long Awaited Baby. I have a feeling that Julie and Paul are mature enough to raise him without this.
I'm another inject-him-with-anything mom.
I can totally top your baby spill stories. I had Ben in his carrier in the stroller at a mall food court. A very brave outing, his first trip to a mall (probably about 4 months old and 12 or 13 pounds at the time). It was really hard to maneuver the stroller through the food court with that tray on top of the handles, so the tray tipped forward, and that extra-large diet Coke also tipped forward, the cap came off, and roughyl 42 ounces of iced soft drink cascaded over the whole shebang. Ben was under a blanket so he was largely dry, but the stroller seat beneath the carrier had, quite literally, a pool of diet Coke. I cried, yes, I did. And I hadn't learned the trick of using a disposable diaper to mop up large quantities of liquid. I had to use a screwdriver to disassemble the stroller's fabric covering to launder it. Oy.
Too bad Charlie doesn't have cradle cap. I can eat chips over my boy's head and no one would ever notice.
I totally agree with the social contract theory of vaxes.
If someone does not vax, I think they need to answer honestly if they would make the same decision if the risks of gettig the disease were at the levels that existed before the vax came into use.
If the answer is no, then they are a parriah!
Whew! I just wanted to say that I just finished reading your blog...yes...the whole thing, from the beginning (no, not in one sitting, silly!). I'm so happy that the 3 of you are happy and healthy and I'm looking forward to reading future entries (however not through glassy, blood shot eyes brought about from hours and hours of reading without blinking)
you know potato chip grease will give him acne.
Glad you're feeling better. And I'm glad Charlie's doing so well. Please post some more pix of the boy. My 23 month old son and I are positively smitten with him.
Happy to read you are all feeling better!
Our daughter - who was born right around Charlie's due date - has cradle cap on one temple. The pediatrician told us to rub in a bit of baby oil or vaseline to help treat it. Perhaps we should use potato chip grease instead? (been lurking here for months! I love this blog! And... our daughter just got her shots too.)
So you dropped chips on the babies head. And a catalog. And soda.
I actually dropped one of my kids on her head. Yeah, I'm *that* good.
ER doc checked her out, said she was fine. Almost 16 years later though I'm wondering... Could be normal teen stuff or it could be that drop on the floor....
We'll have to compare notes in about 16 years.
HA!
But the one thing you will never drop on his head is a lunchables box, so there is that.
Maybe you can put some chip dip in his ear to go with the crumbs in his hair?
Glad you're on the up side of things.
I'm so happy to hear you're doing better. Know there are a lot of gals (and guys, I assume) out there that are rooting for you. :)
Julie, you sound great. I'm so happy you've rounded the corner.
Boulder, lunchables. Loved it.
"That's him, officer! That's the man who banged my head into a doorway!"
During the sling period, my kid and I used to have mirror-image chocolate stains on our shirts. One little piece makes a pretty big mark when it melts.
Whew! I know this posting & comment cycle is probably old news by now, but I feel like I need to respond to some critics here displayed.
First - Julie - I'm sorry if my comment came off negatively. I doubt I could change your mind about the vax issues, and it sounds as if you're well-surrounded with people of like mind. Good for you for being willing to put yourself out there.
Second - Critics - blogging is all about making opinions public. Julie aired hers, and I felt strongly about responding. I could be dead wrong, but doesn't it make sense to have a conversation about it? We all, no matter how our babies came into our lives, have worked our butts off to get them there and then keep them safe. I am apparently the ONLY person reading this blog who is willing to claim that they feel the vax schedule required to attend schools and be a part of the "social contract" is total BS, so I think a little bit of cred for having the guts is merited. Metal toxicity is not a joke, and we are currently being vaccinated for diseases that have very little impact on our lives compared to the risks involved with the vaccine itself, at least in my opinion.
I'm sorry if I brought a dead cat to the dinner table. It never feels good to have someone question your parenting, but I hope we can all work toward the candor required to discuss sensitive issues publicly.
Wait, I just have to add...
"Parriah"?
"Nattering Nut Gallery"?
Is it my imagination, or is that just plain low-ball name-calling? Neither I, nor Julie, nor anyone else who stands up for what they believe deserve that. Its on the same level with "why do you hate America?" craziness. Ka-rap.
Hooray! Sounds like ending pumping was the right thing to do...so glad it's better.
"I am apparently the ONLY person reading this blog who is willing to claim that they feel the vax schedule required to attend schools and be a part of the "social contract" is total BS, so I think a little bit of cred for having the guts is merited."
Do we need to be impressed when you are so busy congratulating yourself?
Do you not see how insulting it is to assume that someone who made a different decision than you did must have done so out of ignorance? "If you knew what I knew . . ." is peering out behind (almost?) all unsolicited advice.
Every blog statement is subject to comment, yes. That doesn't make every comment appropriate, insightful, or constructive.
Just a quick note to say you can fulfill your "social contract" without keeping to the preset schedule, which IMO is a little nuts. If he doen't seem to have a problem with the vaccines then great, but don't let that presuure make you do anything. You can space the vaccines out and still get them all basicaly on schedule. JMO but each vaccine can produce a pretty stong reaction, and 4 at a time makes me nervous, especially after my son had a high fever after one set. We went to 1 at a time after that and have not had a problem since.
In the interest of honesty, we are delaying some, but he will have them all eventually, if he doesn't have the immunity first.
SO glad things are going better.
Am now sharing a close personal relationship with pumping and at many times recently have thought "Julie was right, this sucks."
So glad you can make light of vaccinations. I have been absolutely freaking out about what to do and have also decided to go with convention.
Oh, and my baby has a sleeper that has a ketchup stain on its hip from eating has browns while he was in the sling.