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Putting the fun in phonetics

Dear Almost Every Mother on New York's Upper East Side,

I am sorry to deliver a bulletin that will send a seismic jolt through your entire worldview, but I must break this shocking news: despite anything else you might have heard on the subject, Peg Pérego, a popular brand of stroller, is not pronounced /peg pə-rā'-gō/.

I know. I know. You're shaken to the core. Though it pains me to cause you even a moment's disequilibrium, I assure you it is true. A quick and easy phone call to the company has confirmed that that accent over the first "e" in "Pérego" is there for a reason. The name of the company is pronounced /peg pâr'-ə-gō/.

In case the phonetic spelling is impenetrable to you in the devastating befuddlement my revelation has no doubt caused, I have created a handy rebus to make it entirely clear:


I hereby request that you immediately adjust your pronunciation accordingly.

Thanking you in advance, I remain


P.S. I am still researching rumors that "onesie" is properly pronounced /ō-nē'-zē/, and "formula" /lē'-thəl poi'-zən/. I will let you know as more information becomes available.