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08/01/2005
Godzilla vs. Batman
Charlie is at a funny stage, and by that I mean not "funny ha-ha" but "funny Jesus Christ, this child is immense."
He weighs just shy of 23 pounds, and at last measure he was 29 inches long. He's a bit over 8 months actual; for his actual age, he falls into the 85th percentile for both length and weight. For a preemie, this is notable: children who were born early are expected to catch up to their full-term peers by age 2. Not only has Charlie done so long before that, he is currently leaving most of them in the dust.
For his corrected age, which is about six months, he is off the freaking charts. He is huge. He is enormous. When strangers marvel in their well-meaning way, I blame a minor but embarrassing nuclear accident, smile nervously, and change the subject fast.
Sometimes Charlie's bulk presents a problem. While he's where he should be in growth, as far as development is concerned he's still more in line with his adjusted age (and perhaps in some areas even a bit behind). For example, he is not yet developed enough to sit up unsupported, but he's developed enough to resent that bitterly. He wants, damn you, Mom, to sit.
He's not quite ready for most restaurant high chairs, the kind that offer little back support. Yet he's too big for an infant car seat, the only kind that can easily be carried inside. He is also too big, and too much in control of his own acquisitive hands, to balance him on my knee while I eat. It is possible, just, to eat with one hand and support him with the other as he slopes from side to side in the high chair; yesterday Paul and I enjoyed a thrilling game of Pong while we wolfed down cheesburgers, tipping him ever so gently in the other direction when he'd leaned too far to one side.
He weighs too much for his bouncy seat, bending it almost parallel to the ground the last time I strapped him in. He is too large for his Bumbo seat, which he has never especially enjoyed; I don't know whether its leg openings pinch his hammy thighs in a painful viselike grip, or whether he simply resents being restrained in that way, but he arches back so far that he comes partially out, making what I originally thought was an ingenious item into little more than a molded foam invitation to a concussion.
And so we wait. Dozens of times a day I prop him up on the floor, sitting, then move away, letting him balance on his own until he inevitably starts to wobble. I catch him. I right him. We start again. I can be patient, though it seems he cannot. Sooner or later, all 23 pounds of him will sit. And crawl. And stand.
And, one presumes, empty the contents of an entire shinkansen down his gullet with a terrible, deafening screech. Godzilla had better watch his spiny mutant back.
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Oh, we feel ya on the bitter resentment upon NOT reaching developmental milestones. Our son was born just a week after Batman (full-term) and can in fact now sit unaided, but since he has a consuming hatred of Tummy Time he is still far from crawling. Oh he'll roll over all right, and push up on his arms in a weak Richard-Simmons-esqe swayback pushup, but as his feet flail behind him and his knees fail to tuck up, he lets out a roar that says, "As God is my witness, I'll never let you people keep me from locomotion again!"
i too had a gargantuan child whose development did not match her heft. this was the best thing ever during that shall we say awkward time:
ack! where did the link go?
http://www.babybuddy.com/pages/shop_dine.htm
Just wanted to know if he slept through the night again.
We're at 2 months old and counting here...
As for catching up- yeah to Charlie for being an over achiever!
Dude, it's not the Bumbo he hates but the gingham-dots outfit he's dressed in. No wonder he arches his back. He's saying, "Please get me out of this outfit! And if you post a picture of me in it on the internet I'll tell the nurses at your nursing home in 40 years to put you in too-small Depends."
Goodsandwich, there are good suggestions for making tummy time more palatable at sparkplugdance.org.
Hi there Julie,
I read about your story in the Reader's Digest August issue. Thank you for sharing your story as it had touched me. It made me realise that my life is not by chance and its the gift of the Lord. God bless!
LOVE the Bumbo seat picture! Julie, did you make those pants? Somehow they look like something you would sew up. Being crafty & quilty & all.
Congratulations on fabulous Charlie's feats of growth.
We're at about the same stage w/ our 20 lb 6 month old. He slides around in the high chairs but is too too heavy to be carting around in a pumpkin seat. So what smart thing did I do tonight when we went out for dinner? I ordered saginaki. A cheese dish that comes to the table ON FIRE. Luckily the one of us with a double ear infection (not me) had to brains (again not me) to realize the baby needed to be safely tucked away when the flaming cheese came to the table.
My MIL gave us a smaller chair which attaches to a sturdy table and is better for Henry at this stage. But you have to be at a restaurant with reeeeeeally sturdy tables to put a 20 lb wiggling weight hanging out over the edge.
If you want to pass on that Bumbo seat.....I know a willing participant who hasnt been able to get ahold of one yet:)
Moxie! Thanks for the link! I cant wait to do TummyTime with Liam tomorrow. I'm going to try it out on the yoga ball and see what he does!!!
Oh lord, I remember those days (listen to me waxing all old-timey four months later). Nothing that works for a giant baby will fit him and nothing that fits him works. I kept threatening to start a company called "Ya Big Baby" that would specialize in provisions for the oversize tot, but was thwarted by my inability to actually produce things.
Anecdotally, big kids seem to be a little slower with the gross motor skills - my full-term baby was exactly where Charlie is at 6 months. But once he caught up, he caught up really fast. Now my only real size concern is where I'm supposed to find toddler-size pajamas with room for chunky baby thighs. Well, and I can't carry him, but that's another story.
Feel free to ignore unsolicited advice, but...
Do you have a Boppy pillow? I ask only because that's how both of my kids learned to sit. It gives them just the teeeeensiest bit of support around the hips, and allows you to sit in front of them to catch them before they face-plant. ;-)
TC
Coming out of lurking for a moment of sympathy. My little man was 6 weeks early and weighed in at a hefty 7lbs. 11oz. - he looked pretty funny with all the tiny guys next to him in the NICU. At 9 months he weighed in at 28.5 lbs. and was impossible to carry for any distance since he didn't have the ability to hang on or help hold his weight.
We finally bought a smaller stroller to keep with us for restaurants, etc. since even a trip to the post office was enough to send me begging to the chiropractor for an adjustment and a lot of pain meds! Not a perfect solution, but it beat the heck out of having his limp bod flailing about in a high chair with no support.
He's now 12 months and hasn't gained much more, just grown in height. Plus he's now walking, which is great but opened a whole other can of worms.
By the way, when people commented on his size I would just smile and tell them we prefer to think of him as "burley" instead of "GYNORMOUS".
My daughter Janie was a big baby. 30 lbs at age 1. I always said she was the product of a large viking pillaging our village.
Anyways, everyone told me she'd be crawling and walking late because of her size. (She was off the charts for girls in weight and height, way over the 90%, where there were no numbers.) BUT - and here's my point (eventually right?) - she started early. She had her first steps on her 10 months birth anniversary, and was taking long confident solo runs by age 11 months.
Now, as to the many, many huge boy comments I used to get on my large bald baby girl, including the NFL linebacker ones, well, those are a definate side effect of large size.
By the way, 30 lbs at 1 year, and 31 at age 2, currently 45 at age 4 1/2. She may have been a chunky baby, but it all stretched out once she started walking. All that remains is the chubby cheeks. Sorry baby girl, I've still got them, so those are forever.
Once again de-lurking. My kiddo was unable to master sitting up well in high chairs outside of home so we bought whats called a "floppy seat". Its made for shopping carts but we found that it works in the high chairs too. Here's a couple of links to the seat covers:
http://www.floppyseat.com/index.html
http://www.babyemporio.com/cartcovers/floppyseat.html
I know you didn't ask for assvice but I can't help myself when I remember my wobbly and seemingly eel-like 7 month old in those damned high chairs.
BTW I think Charlie is doing fabulous and is getting so healthy! Way to go Mommy & Daddy!!!
My daughter outgrew her infant seat, in length, at 4 months. I tried to keep the seat in the trunk in the beginning, but it was a pain in the ass to get her out of one seat and into the other. We bought a Buggy Bagg for any place that has a cart, and an umbrella stroller for restaurants. The Buggy Bagg is awesome because it's nice and cushy, and it has a detachable pillow that was invaluable in the beginning to keep her supported. It's too thick to fit in those wooden restaurant high chairs, though. The umbrella stroller doesn't get in the way any more than the high chair does in a restaurant.
He is just so sweet in that picture.
I second the suggestion to try the Boppy pillow for minimal support while he's learning to sit by himself.
Also, I found that if I put my purse behind their backs in restaraunt high chairs, they could sit there a good two months before they could sit there WITHOUT that extra support behind them. It seemed to take up just enough space behind their backs, plus offered just a bit of support to keep them upright, so that we could at least eat our meals with both hands. One of those small diaper bags would work too.
Our bigger boy was 23 lbs at 6 months (twins were born at 38 weeks). They are now 7 months and 27 inches long. He is too big for just about everything now, including his car seat and bouncy chair and swing. His brother, who weighs 5 lbs less, is just as tall and will soon outgrow all these things as well just from being too tall. I just ordered a Bumbo seat after Tertia recommended them, thinking it might fit the thinner boy at least. I hope he likes it better than Charlie does.
They are dying to sit up, and are starting to pull themselves up in the co-sleeper (set up as a bassinet) in the living room. Also looking longingly at the books in the bookshelf nearby. So many things to do if only they could sit up and then walk! You can just see the plans for future mischief brewing...
Is it wrong to laugh at the mental picture you've painted? You tell the tale so well, but poor, frustrated Charlie! He'll get it one of these days, though. My sister also has some kind of mutant child. He's 1 years old and looks like he's going on three. It's a real problem because everyone expects him to act older than he is, but he is just one and can't be reasoned with.
Jennifer, we did the purse trick! It certainly helped, and I've made a note to pack a couple of thick towels next time we go out, for high chair bolstering.
Glad to hear Charlie is doing well. He'll catch up and pretty soon you'll be daydreaming, in a sad way, how fast he's growing. You'll remeber when he would actually sit still and cuddle. God Bless you and your family.
Poor Charlie! Growing up is so hard. :)
My first thought on reading this post was, "Well, obviously formula hasn't harmed him at all!" Or would you prefer we credit his amazing health to all the hard work you put into breastfeeding him for so long?
Dude! Charlie weighs more than my 2.5 year old!
I LIKE his pants. AND his shirt.
You might need a rolled-up towel stuffed in at first, but it does sound like he might enjoy some time in an exersaucer. It would let him be upright and looking around, and in its own way it's tiring for the newbie because it does encourage them to use more muscles. But yes, for restaurants you are in a very awkward time! It's definitely time to get takeout or order pizza. ;o)
Gargantuan babies...gotta love them. My young William weighed in at 23 lbs at his *4 month* appointment. He is a tank. I couldn't even consider the Bumbo because of his thighs. He started in the Jumperoo at the highest height and still touches the floor.
My saving grace has been the Exersaucer. He's stitting up fairly well, but still isn't ready to do it without someone behind him.
It's great Charlie is growing so well.
My enormous-at-birth boy (10#13oz) was 20# at 3 months, so I definitely know that size/development dysfunction problem. We just carried the infant seat in the trunk. When we went to grocery stores or restaurants, I'd just pull it out and put him in (for the restaurants, I'd carry the seat, the husband carried the boy and we'd just sit him in it without messing with straps). Got some weird looks for doing the carseat dance, but didn't have much choice.
Loved my Buggy Bagg for when he was close to sitting. I made two small pillows to wedge in on either side of him to help prop him and put the long pillow it came with along hte front (or was it back? Been a couple of years). And I have no real sewing ability - they aren't pretty pillows; just functional!
Laughing about the bouncy seat image. I'd forgotten about that. It was a sad day when the bouncy was gone. I think we moved to the exersaucer (with a towel wedged in back to keep him upright) around that time. I think someone loaned me a swing around that time, but he was too heavy for the swing to work right. Sad...
Good luck with your big boy!
De-lurking to say I love your blog. You make me laugh as I can totally empathise and agree with most of what you write!
My 9 month old is in the 95th percentile. Why do people feel they have to comment "What a big healthy boy" "He obviously loves his food" and other such comments. I'd like to smack em with my boy's gargantuan hands!
Soon Charlie will be sitting and moving with the best of them, and then you'll wish for the days when all he could do was lie there.
I have no sympathy on the size thing, since we're at the opposite end of the spectrum. Well, maybe I have a little. But JUST a little.
Anyway, on the high-chair thing. I think it's First Years that makes a high-chair-booster-seat thingie that has a good high back, has three reclining positions, can do in the dishwasher, and is fully portable (straps onto a chair). It's what we use for a highchair at home and if we go visiting we bring it with us--very handy. In the beginning, since Frances was so itty, we had to prop her upright with a rolled blanket on each side of her. But still. Highly recommend the chair. Not even that expensive--$50 maybe?
I found this online while we were at this stage with Ben. He was a late sitter (around 8 monthsish) but he too was huge.
Here it is...and only 15 bucks!
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0006B2QEG/qid=1122986645/br=1-5/ref=br_lf_ba_5//102-8960812-0054510?v=glance&s=baby&n=547948
Wait until he's three and strangers expect him to do algebra because he looks so much older than he is!
Wow! He is a big baby. Both of my 42 week babies were small and stayed that way. At 18 months, the baby only weighs 20 lbs, 5 oz, so I do not have any advice for dealing with his size in relation to activity. However, he will get going soon enough and then you will spend all day trying to keep up.
Funny. Charlie has the pants and Matilda has http://www.flickr.com/photos/nordensved/9478752/in/set-234674/>the top.
Andrea beat me to the portable booster seat suggestion. Friends of ours swore by theirs. Our Peanut was petit so as to not need an alternative to the baby seat until she was practially walking. Charlie weighs a lb more than her right now, and she's 19 months old. You do indeed have a gargantuan baby!
www.chubbyseats.com
Primarily for shopping carts, but I use mine in restaurant high chairs as well.
Of course, she's got a waiting list, so Charlie probably wouldn't need it any more...
Although, Sean is nearly 10 months and still uses his. Partly for the germ factor and partly because his head is so freakishly huge that he still can't really sit up that well.
Do ANY children "like" the Bumbo seat? A friend had the opportunity to buy several of them at a discount and offered one to me. I declined, thinking it looked like a rather brightly colored medieval torture device...
But that is one hunka hunka baby you've got there! If you lived here in Texas, the high school football coaches would be knocking on your door right about now.
My son has always been about middling for weight, but has consistently been off the top of the chart for height. He's in a preschool where the classrooms have 3- to 6-year-olds in them, and he at age 3 is taller than some of the oldest children in the class. I suspect of course that those kids are at the very bottom of the growth chart, but still.
The biggest problem we run into at this point is something that a few other commenters have alluded to; namely, people expect him to act older than he is. He looks like a 4- or 5-year-old, so when he acts like the 3-year-old he is, a lot of people don't understand, or think he's deliberately misbehaving or making fun of them, or whatever. It's subtle, sometimes. I used to see people giving him weird looks back when he was not quite 2 (but looked 3) and hadn't quite mastered full sentences yet, like "Oh, there's something wrong with this one."
It's not an overt thing, and nobody was ever a jerk about it -- actually, people are usually quite understanding once I point out, "You know, he's only 3" or whatever -- but it's something I didn't really know to expect.
...Incidentally, the next person who says "So, when's he starting basketball?" is getting a basketball net rammed down their throat.
Wait a second? Julie was in the Reader's Digest? I'm always late to the party!
Julie, your Charlie is bigger than my 17-month old! We had the opposite problem: Nicolas could walk but didn't weigh 22lbs, so he had to continue riding in the infant car seat until a few weeks ago. That was fun. An angry toddler pissed at the world for the indignity of having lie down while in the car. Oh, the humanity!
i haven't read through the comments yet *and* i don't (yet) have children of my own, but i've babysat for many of them. some of the babies have done well with a boppy behind them. it's semi-supportive around their waist and often softens a crash to the floor!
Assvice here... I had big boys too, #2 had a saucer which did a pretty good job of letting him be upright and develop his trunk muscles. But then he walked at 11 months and it was all over but the "NO!" So I have mixed feelings on it. I can't think of any good reason to encourage them to walk any earlier then they might already!
p.s. That is one cute little monster!
Restaurant Assvice: With Jake (who was also a big baby), we would bring his feeding chair (it's the 4 stage kind for about $25 at BRU) - it had its own tray and could recline. It would fit in a booth or a chair - we carried it everywhere we went. Of course, depending where you live, it might not be an option, but if you travel most places in a car, it's a great solution.
(Jen, our girl loves her Bumbo. And the clean-up is a breeze. Just hose it off!)
I also agree with using the Boppy to help with sitting up.
We had the same dilemma with too floppy for highchairs but too big for infant seat. We'd keep the infant seat in the trunk and just move him from the carseat into the infant seat and away we'd go. The ability to attach toys to the handle helped keep him occupied longer than in a highchair too.
Wow, that's a big kid. My 3+ year old is only 7 lbs heavier. But then our friends have a 19 months old who is one pound heavier than my kid. He looks rather impressive.
I hated to retire the infant carseat. Our massive baby also outgrew it before she was ready for restaurant highchairs. We used a Me Too chair when eating out with great success.
From a family with another gigantic Charlie, you have my sympathies. We've been looking at the back of his big-boy carseat for the past seven and a half months. He was out of the bucket by three months.
His height is still plowing ahead, but his weight is slowing down, and at the last visit he at least measured back on the charts.
Hang in there!
Julie, all I've got is assvice (surprise!) so take it for what it's worth.
I don't have big babies, but small ones. As in, my 19 monthy old weighs less than Charlie, and my 3 year old weighs just a bit more. But, we did a few things when they were at that can't sit up stage.
The purse/diaper bag trick is a good one - just stuff it behind the kid. A few blankets rolled up did the job too. My mom brough me a soft cervical collar to strap around the kid and the seat, and that helped to hold them up. I'll see if I can find out where she got it - I mean, I know she got it from the hospital she works at, but where you could get one. Geez, the coffee didn't kick in yet.
We did the exersaucer/jonny jumper things, and tucked sofa pillows around the baby.
But hands down, the best seat EVAH for eating out is the me too seat. It collapses totally flat and is lightweight, so you can toss it into the suitcase you call a diaper bag - oops, sorry, that's mine - and tote it with you wherever you go. It wipes off easy and hooks onto the table and has a strap to hold them in.
Good for you on eating out, though.
Holy schmoly, woman! I had no idea Charlie was that big! There're never any items for scale in the pictures I've seen.
I hope he attains the much envied title of "sitter" very soon. For your sake more than his.
Soooo, if you didn't make those pants, where might one get them? I love them.
We are enjoying the bumbo, but the Charlie at my house can pretty much launch himself out of it with the back arch. Plus, it's a poop-inducer, so we're guaranteed a puddle of excrement every time he gets in it.
Sounds like your Charlie is growing really well, Julie, which means, to me, that y'all are doing things just right for him. After the rough and early start he had, his growth is amazing and wonderful.