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01/09/2006
11 months adjusted
Every few months I check in, charting Charlie's developmental progress on the Denver II assessment sheet we began many months ago. Here's how it works:
The horizontal axes are labeled by month. First you draw a vertical line down through your child's age.
The chart includes ranges for every activity to be evaluated, denoted by a box. At the left end of the range, where the box begins, 25% of children can perform the activity. Each box has a tick mark showing the point at which 50% of children can perform it. Closer to the right end of the range, the box is shaded blue to show that 75% of children have begun to perform the activity. And by the end of the box, more than 90% of children should be performing the activity. Fall outside the box and it might be cause for concern.
So then you look at your line and where it intersects which boxes. You decide whether your child has mastered a given activity, and you either congratulate yourself on some fine trick-rodeo parenting, or you quietly freak out, sure that your child is about to be institutionalized.
Here's what Charlie's chart looks like at 11 months adjusted. (I don't even look at the activities for his actual age.) The green check mark denotes items he's mastered; the orange not-smiley shows activities he's not yet expected to have mastered; and the skull and crossbones appears when our boy's not even close, causing me some measure of concern.
Activities Charlie has mastered
Indicate wants. If lunging out of my arms and flinging himself on top of the fleeing cat is any measure, it is safe to say he can indicate wants. That poor goddamn cat.
Thumb/finger grasp and Feed self. So precise and powerful are Charlie's pincers, so ferocious his drive to feed self, that I'm pretty sure that if we turned him loose on the savannah armed only with a bib, he could bring down an impala and ingest only its choicest morsels. I pity the poor cheetah who's uppity enough to take him on.
Work for toy. Oh, Charlie will work for a toy. The kid will practically drill his own oil well; refine the resulting petroleum into ethane and propane; gear up a high-temperature furnace to "crack" them into ethylene and propylene; shovel the whole mess into a reactor; add a catalyst to produce "fluff"; combine the fluff with assorted other additives in a giant blender; send the resulting polymer to an extruder for melting; squirt the lavalike plastic compound into an injection mold; impatiently wait while the molded item cools; break it off its sprue with an audible snap; and then lift it triumphantly into the air, crowing, "Bah!"
And then put it in his mouth.
Put block in cup and Bang two cubes held in hands. I have never seen him do these things — Jesus gay, am I supposed to watch him every minute? — but Paul swears he can. And whatever other faults he might have, and I'm not saying he has any, Paul's not one to lie about cubes.
Jabbers, Combines syllables, Dada/Mama non-specific, Single syllables, and Imitate speech sounds. He does all of this, and I suppose you could construe it as imitating speech sounds. After all, I do say, "MmmmMMMMMUH. Gaahbbm. Buhbuh...buh. [High-pitched skirl.] UNGH" a lot as I go about my daily business.
Get to sitting, Pull to stand, Stand, holding on, and Sit, no support. MmmmMMMMMUH. Gaahbbm. By which I mean UNGH.
Activities Charlie should be on his way to mastering
Drink from cup. Charlie can occasionally and accidentally find his mouth with the spout while holding his own sippy cup. He can rarely manage to drink from a regular unspouted cup held by a parent without flooding his own lungs with vodka water.
Imitate activities. So far, he has shown he is able to clap his hands in imitation, but only when he feels like it, and to mimic my talking on the phone, but only that single time. Either I'm not that interesting, or he's not that swift. The cat, on the other hand, is worthy of imitation. The cat fetches, preferring a plastic ring from the top of a milk jug, and therefore so does Charlie. The cat favors a particular end table for lounging, and, apparently, so does Charlie. And the cat has an entirely uncatly propensity for sitting up on his haunches for long periods, like unto a meerkat, while Charlie — well, I don't even know what to say about this, but whatever it is, he does it.
Play ball with examiner. As if. Listen, the minute any kid of mine actually wants to engage in athletic activity is the day I demand a DNA test.
Play pat-a-cake. You know, this is a digression, but around here, we call it patty-cake. I am fairly certain the term is derived from the French pas de caïque, a rallying cry that signified the stubborn unwillingness of the sans culottes to accept Marie Antoinette's proffered brioche as the Revolution came to a head. (Thousands of these brave patriots were later killed for their refusal to capitulate.)
Anyway, Charlie has shown that he can play patty-cake. But he's also shown that he's not especially inclined to do so at appropriate times — like, say, when his mother is squatting expectantly before him, patty-caking her motherfucking head off — preferring rather to do it under questionable circumstances. He is much more likely to perform the patty-cake of rage, such as when he's flat on his back having his tiny package smeared with diaper cream, or the patty-cake of sorrow, such as when I've told him that his stuffed duck went to live on a farm where it can romp through fields of daisies and drink the milk of contented cows.
One word. Not yet, but I'm not worried. If I had to predict, based on his record so far, I'd say Charlie's first word will probably be "meow."
Stand alone. Not yet, but I'm not worried. If I had to predict, based on his record so far, I'd say he'll never, ever learn to do it, as the domesticated housecat simply doesn't have enough strength in its spine for standing.
Things Charlie really should be doing by now
Wave bye-bye. Not a bit of it. This concerns me somewhat. It occurs to me, however, that maybe he just hasn't been left often and dramatically enough, so I've taken to making histrionic exits several times a day, roaring, "You won't have Dick Nixon to kick around anymore," storming noisily out of the room, and slamming the door behind me. All after a slow, exaggerated wave and a sweetly crooned "bye-bye," of course. Sometimes.
Stand, 2 seconds. Nothing doing. On the rare occasions that he absentmindedly lets go of the coffee table, he wobbles immediately, looks panicked, and then leans forward against it again with palpable relief. I wonder if I should wait until he's playing contentedly there, crooning to the remote control and whatnot, then, surprise, yank away the table. What do you think?
Dada/Mama specific. Not yet. Not at all.
But at least he's not saying it to the cat, either. Not yet.
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I gotcha' beat -- my son who will be one on Sunday (and was not premature) has never even deigned to say "Mama". He says "Dada" about seven trillion times a day and has for oh, about six months now, but one little "mama"? No.
I mean, come one! Mama's the one who has nursed him faithfully for a year (including pumping at work until about three weeks ago!). Mama never pretends to be asleep when he wakes up at 5:30 a.m. and wants to play. Mama's not the one who said, "Let's skip the outlet covers -- it'll only take one time for him to learn the lesson."
Where's the love?!
The 'm' sound is a lot harder than the 'd' sound... Since all human languages, pretty much, have 'm' or 'n' for Mama and 'd' or 't' or 'b' or 'p' for Papa, something tells me it's doting daddies that decided on early vocabulary.
And putting anything in a cup, banging anything together, and making any kind of gesture count - the scales that are designed properly for parents (not examiners) to fill in have lots more on them, because parents have more time with their kids and have actually noticed them doing harder things (like, for example, clapping, or pointing, asking to be picked up, looking at something they want and then back at you, shaking or nodding the head...)
(Yes, I do this for a living)
Neither of my kids was premature (in fact, the first one didn't want to come out at all) and I don't think they waved bye-bye or did the Dada/Mama specific thing until after their first birthdays. My daughter's first word, honestly, was "meow", and it was in response to, "Where's the kitty?"
My son refused to stand on his own until he was about 13/14 months old. And when he did, he walked the next day. He kind of did things in bursts.
I always hated the developmental tracking, even though I know it's valuable in some ways, especially for a baby who was premature. It just makes everyone a little bit crazy is all.
My son was born at exactly 40 weeks and he's now 23 months old. He says mama and dada, but they don't seem to be related to us. He uses them interchangeably and even when we're not around. I think that they just mean that someone better help him and soon. He also didn't wave until he was almost 18 months. We would wave our fool heads off at him, but he just didn't care.
I think this entry just proves that Charlie is brilliant. Look at the facts. The cat doesn't have to do anything all day but lay around and eat, unlike you and Paul who both work for a living. What smart little boy wouldn't want to grow up to be the cat?
I'm not sure I've ever seen anything as cute as Charlie and the cat combined. The fetching and the posing. It is to die for.
Neither Madison or Noah ever waved bye-bye. We had no idea we were supposed to be waving at them!
My daughter was about 17 months when she started saying Mama and Daddy. She had at least 2 dozen words by then, including Walk, Talk, Dat, Dog, Cat. We had to actually teach her how to say Mama and Daddy. My theory is it just never occurred to her that she *needed* to call us by name.
She was almost 16 months when she started to walk, and only had about 4 words at that point. 6 weeks later, she was up to two dozen, and after that I lost count. I think she was just really working on walking & talking at the same time, and mastering one caused her to take off in the other. By 21 months she was speaking in full sentences.
My point (other than to brag) is that they all do these things on their own schedules, and I wouldn't worry AT ALL unless he's not doing either at 18 months. He probably has some other skills that he's not supposed to have until he's three! It all balances out...
My dear son didn't wave bye bye or hello until well over 2 years old. And he's fine, just fine, at 3 years old. In fact, I can't get him to shut up. We've been told by his early intervention person (he's a 32 weeker, but fared poorly initially) that waving is only one particular social expression. As long as he's attempting other social expressions (kisses, hugs, pretending to "feed" other people), he's fine.
Muffin Man waved early, but so did ALL the other kids in his daycare. Turns out Ms. A., their teacher at the time, loves playing the "Bye-bye" game with them.
But no solo standing until 14 months.
It's patty-cake in my town, too!
My son's first word was "kitty". I think his second was daddy, but not "daddy," "addy." THEN "mama." As far as waving, he had some sort of "wave bye-bye" breakthrough early on (probably around Charlie's age or a little younger) but then proceeded to never, ever do it. For several months. We would prompt him to wave - at us, at other people, at the kitty, even - and he just wouldn't do it.
I have also heard that when they are mastering some skills, like walking, they can "forget" things and sort of move backward in other areas. My son lost "kitty" for a few months around his 1st birthday when he learned to walk. But then the cat came back.
Charlie is brilliant. He already knows he has you and your husband wrapped around his little finger. Now he's trying to master the only other living thing in the household.
My 9 year old's version of 'bye-bye' is "Um, Mom? Let go."
My daughter (now 21 months) never was a big waver. Even now, if you ask her to say "bye bye" to someone who is leaving, the usual response is "no." A year or so ago I was pretty freaked by her refusal to wave. But I think the wave bye bye thing is not the greatest milestone since she was never much behind in anything else.
She only had 1 word ("ball") at 12 months. She didn't say mama til about 14 months, dada about the same time. Soon followed by "no" which (see above") is still the word of choice.
I think drinking out of a cup takes practice -- and (as Moxie noted) it is only useful for a certain period of time. Maybe try the straw cup? Some kids take to it better and it is better in the long run anyway.
Charlie is sure a big, beautiful boy!
So that's how plastic is made.
I'll join in with everyone else to say try not to worry about it too much. I'm sure you will - I still do despite my own advice.
My son is 23 months - making him 20 months corrected - and he's still not talking. He'll do bye-bye and daddy and some sounds but that's all.
The speech therapist assures me that as long as he's being exposed to lots of language and he understands what is being said to him (boy does he understand) then he'll catch up when he's ready. So I try not to panic.
Premmie babies don't follow the rules, even when you correct for age, but they generally turn out okay in the long run. I'm told that having been a 27 weeker, the catch up by age 2 rule needs to be extended to catch up by age 3.
I love that chart you have. Do you know if it is available online anywhere?
It looks like to me that Charlie is growing up to be a normal ordinary housecat...none of my cats would acknowledge me, let alone wave "bye-bye", when I left the room either. LOL :)
Seriously though, don't stress yourself out.
My daughter Sophie is almost 3 months old and she has already said her first word: Goo! (look it up). ;) The photo comparison of Charlie and the cat is frickin' hilarious!
Eh, that chart sounds a little harsh to me. Either that or my kids are developmental dullards (and the older two, who are doing the activities listed, were both born early but nothing like Charlie so it's a possibility I suppose). It's easy to drive yourself crazy worrying over stuff like this (and I know--my youngest is working on learning to eat without an NG tube right now after a lengthy and serious illness, and I drive that poor kid crazy clapping my hands to see if he reacts and testing how well he can sit when I hold him up and trying to force him to use his hands, which he can in fact use to pull an NG tube out so probably those are doing okay), but I try to be sane about such things and remind myself that babies do things at their own pace anyway (in the little one's case, he's ahead of the curve, thank heavens). Neither of the older two, however, walked until they were over fifteen months old or crawled until they were a year. And now the four-year-old reads and the eighteen-month-old can boot up my computer unassisted and work a mouse. IMHO, as a mom of three, Charlie sounds fine. Better than fine. Spectacular. Congratulations on your (giant) boy.
My now 4 yo called both of us daddy for quite a while when he was around 18 months. Then he distinctly started calling me "Bobby" for a couple months, which was rather disconcerting. Mommy didn't come into full effect until he was 2. Those m words are tough on the little people.
What does he do when you dangle string in front of him?
Anyway, I am sure Charlie is just as he should be. But you should have that haunch-sitting cat evaluated: I think he's a genius.
If only kids all developped according to those charts! A parent would have so many fewer heart-stopping, abyss-screaming moments believing their child to be backward.
We struggled to think of reglementary three words that my son said at 18 months. (Daddy, Cat (applied to any animal- and Lorry, in case anyone wasnt to knows- no Mummy in there whatsoever, until nearly 24 months. The little sod). At 21 months he was still gabbling in single words, and not clearly at that. At 22 months he thought "Fuck it! What do I need to do to get I want in this house?", and began to speak in sentences. From non-speaker to speaking in sentences in a couple of weeks. He'd been holding out on us.
He also did not wave bye-bye (barely does now, at 12), imitate except for dangerous things like using the screwdrivers or getting knives out of drawers (yes, at 18 months- he could climb, and push furniture around to reach things, but would he say Mummy? I've no hangups about this really...). You're underestimating your kid if you think he's going to be taken in by you playing teasets, which is clearly for stupid jerks. Put the ingredients for a martini in front of him as see what he makes of them. Sit him in front of the computer keyboard. Give him the car keys.
They do everything in steps with long plateaux between them. It's just to keep you on your toes: just as you start to relax and think it's easy, Wham! They crash through a new milestone. I'd chuck the chart.
A reply to Kerry - actually the Denver II is, er, copyright (but I won't tell on Julie as she's, er, creatively altered it and made it her own!). You are supposed to be trained to administer it*, but there are also parent-administered scales (such as the Ages and Stages:
http://www.brookespublishing.com/store/books/bricker-asq/).
*It sounds silly to be trained to play with your kid, or indeed a client's kid, but it's actually quite hard to get it right every time, and if you don't, you can't compare kids to other kids because you will be giving one kid more help than another kid and then you won't know for sure if they are really having problems or not.
We don't have any waving at our house either, and we didn't have any clapping until 12 months. I didn't realize that was even something I should worry about. No standing either, but he's so fast when crawling that I can't imagine it even occurs to him that he should be trying to learn something that will make him slow down.
I'm obviously not Charlie's or anybody else's mother but he sounds like he's doing great to me. Maybe that's because I've had the same cats for 18 years?
Oh yeah? When he starts to hack up fur balls, then I'll be impressed. Until then, competitive mother comparisons aside, it sounds like he is at an identical level with my son, due 2-7-05, born 2-12-05. Except my son likes to scratch the crap out of me, something which my clawless cat can't do.
Charlie imitating the cat - pure genius.
Katie, please don't tell on me. I'm pretty sure the authorities wouldn't let the cat visit me if I were in copyright jail.
You haven't thrown that thing away yet? Better yet, email me a copy. I'd love to see how far behind my son is. He wasn't early, there were no problems, I did everything right. He's intelligent, and you can see it in his eyes, but he's not ambitious. Must get that from me. Vocal skills are up, everything else down. I've found that some of the brainier type children seem to progress more slowly through the physical stuff(at least that's what I hope). The doctor tells me he's fine, just fine, I think he's not. Paranoia? Lots. I figure if ours isn't that kid that does everything way too early, we worry that they're behind. Yanno, because there is always THAT baby. The one that walked at 6 months, or was speaking clearly at a year old(I was), that causes us to worry that our baby is not all there.
Argh! Not a big fan of the charts (nor other parents who insist that little Timmy was not birthed but rather WALKED out of the vaginal canal and was preparing the other infants' tax returns at four months). It's so tough to decide what merits worry. Even tougher if, like me, you have a willful child who goes all Robespierre on your ass when you attempt to engage him in patty-cake.
As a child growth specialist, one of the best bits of advice I have had has been "and when you have kids, throw out the text books." Meaning, of course, that no child develops "by the book". He seems to be doing very well for his adjusted age. Don't measure him next to his "real age", because his adjusted age reflects how much time his brain has had to develop.
However, it seems like Charlie is smart and extremely funny to play with (nevermind the digestive issues). He seems pretty normal, hitting about half of his developmental markers. No kid hits them all. His first word will probably be "Mother, I demand Lunchables forthwith!"
So you'll know he's ready for potty-training when you find him squatting in the litter box?
In general I think the charts are hogwash and this post reminds of my son and neice, both 9 now when they were about 15 months. My perfect sister was extremely competitive about developmental milestones and one day the babes were watching some kiddie thing on TV with us. My neice was actually singing along to the songs and my son, was, well, he was, licking the TV.
I agree...I think his imitating the cat means Charlie is beyond brilliant! Mom and dad spend endless hours WORKING CLEANING SLAVING AWAY IN THE KITCHEN, etc...damn, I want to be a cat too!!! I also pity my cat, Connor is 20 months now and Tinker is the much revered light of his life, she spends hours on end trapped beneath his sticky sweaty little body while he "hugs" her endlessly...and she doesn't eat his face off!!! Go figure!!!
Happy National De-Lurking Week!
Whatever the age, what ever the circumstance, all milestones are amazing to me. Today my son climbed into his chair and read me a book. Sure, it was all "bmmmbmwher" and "gjjjjjjklmmm," but I sure as hell thought it was a great story.
We had a cat that fetched milk-jug rings, too! She started doing it at a very young age. Unless we start comparing to see who has the smartest dog, I'm out.
My 17 month old still refuses the sippy cup, she wants a real cup, you can imagine the messes in this household.
As for Mama/Dada, well she's always said Mama (it was her first word) and says it a million times a day, but never Dada. Dada isn't in the picture, so she's never learned it.
And what is it with babies and cats? My girl can play with one of our cats for a good hour, happy as a clam....they kiss each other (err I should say she kisses, he licks) and he brings her toys. She calls him "buddy". The dog? Won't have anything to do with her.
I wouldn't worry about Charlie, not only is he a cutie, he seems like he's coming along famously. :)
On behalf of our cat, I take umbrage. He stands up as straight as he knows how.
Sometimes I wonder what kind of langugage Charlie thinks he's learning to speak. It's apparently highly tonal and has glottal stops pretty much anywhere. (He can pronounce the "ma" and "da" syllables just fine; it's just that he doesn't seem to care that they might go in a word or apply to anything.) Sometimes when I try to talk back to him with the same sounds he smiles or laughs, other times he looks at me as if to say, "Dad, why did you just order a deep-fried tractor with tartar sauce?"
Neither of my kids were preemies, but I remember stressing over the "waves bye-bye" milestone with my first. She didn't wave bye-bye until long after she started talking -- despite the fact that we did some baby signs with her starting when she was nine or ten months, and she started signing at a little under a year. Her first sign? Cat. (We were lazy baby-sign-ers. All our signs were made up. We signed "cat" by holding out one fist and then petting it with the other hand.)
Love the pictures.
My son's first syllable, repeated often and clearly, was some variant of "woof." And NOT in response to "what does the doggie say?"
Now (4) he never, ever stops talking.
I think the infamous *they* don't really start to worry about stuff until 18 months. I know of an 18 month old or two who is JUST starting to realize that there is life beyond crawling.
Your little bub is doing good.
My son's first word was car then cold. Why? All I did during his gestation and subsequent birth was talk about my lack of a car. I lived in an isolated rural community and I took him everywhere in the stroller and it was cold. Funny how that happens. He said mama sometime after dada.....
LOL!!
those pictures and comments about the cat and comparison with charlie were awesome!!!
thanks for making me actually laugh out loud and de-lurk.
-snoopy
Hilarious photos! Charlie is terrific, and the cat is pretty good too. (I'm not even a fan of cats, but those are some cool tricks.)
Don't worry about the milestone chart. It will be more interesting in another 6 months when he can do more. Sounds like he is fine for now.
Our trio of 30-weekers were significantly delayed at 12 months, in gross motor mostly, and growth. Better at age 2, but then there were speech delays.
While the doctors had told us they use "adjusted age" until age 2, our daughters and son didn't fully catch up on growth and development until they were 3, and the girls still got a little speech therapy. At four they were doing well in all areas, and now at 5 1/2 they are thriving in kindergarten, and all three are reading, well ahead of standards.
I only wish I had known, back when they were 1, that they would do so well, I could have avoided an awful lot of worrying! Try not to pay too much attention to the books and charts.
Charlie seems terrific, so just keep playing with him and enjoying him. And please keep on sharing photos and stories of his exploits!
Best wishes,
Hold up...WHEN exactly are they slated to Help In House? Because I know a 39-year-old who has yet to acheive that milestone. And nor does he wave bye-bye.
As for language skills, I'm not knocking early intervention or nothing. God bless early intervention.
However, at 4-years-old, my younger daughter was still not saying in Cs or Gs. She wanted an Oreo Tootie and called my mother-in-law BBBRRRRAAAAanny, sounding like a drunken sailor.
So, upon the advivce of many people in the know about such things, we took her for a speech screening, which, or course, she bombed even though we crammed all night.
So, the full evaluation was scheduled for five months later because it as the summer and who wants to go around correcting glottals when it's sunny outside.
Of course, by the end of summer, she was saying, "Holy crap, Granny, just give me another cookie already!"
So my advice: withhold all cookies until he begins banging blocks together.
But remember, I'm not trained in this. I just play a mom online.
Paul - one theory says that all children start off thinking their language is tonal (like Chinese) and it's only quite a bit later that they realise it doesn't make any difference if you say "cookie" in a high tone or a low tone, you still get one (or don't)... Expect Cantonese any day now...
The main point of the screeners, that I can see, is to pick up those children who are really, really behind (i.e. can't do 95% of the things for their age) and really, really need help now before things get worse.
Except, in my experience, it's only parents whose children are average or better who care about whether their children are doing well on the screeners - parents whose children need help usually brush off the fact that their child has no productive language at age 3... because his brother was like that and look, he's OK! Can't read at age 10, but you know, he's OK!
(Gross generalisation and obviously not applying to any parents here, disclaimers left right and centre...)
(It's OK, Julie, I won't shop you. Cos then you'd have to, er, tell them we, er, photocopy score sheets in our lab too. Oops).
If I could teach my idiot cat the "STAY" comand I'd have the perfect baby sitter. Laila calls him "OHW!" which is a lot nearer than she is to calling either of us anything except "bababababababababababABABABABA". Silly babies. Love the pictures of Charlie and fat cat, though.
Julie, I had to come back to your site again today to look at the marvelous milestone pics of both cat and charlie.
just brilliant
I think it's a highly discontinuous process. For the longest time my little girl was "behind"--she didn't crawl until 1 yr adjusted, didn't walk until 19 months adjusted (she's only one month premature but it makes me feel better to adjust it), was only saying "mama" and "dada" at 14 months adjusted, didn't wave, etc. The only thing she was really fabulous on was stacking blocks. She was stacking them in towers five or six high. I was really proud of those block towers.
But then overnight it seemed she caught up: at almost 2 yrs adjusted she's walking, running, dancing, speaking in full sentences, not just waving bye-bye but making her toy dolls and Little People hug and kiss, she knows her shapes and colours and letters--from 'behind' she went to 'ahead'. I still can't say how it happened. Gods know it was nothing I did.
A year ago I was telling myself not to freak out over her slow language development. That I was a quiet person and blah blah blah--and now she's talking rings around her peers. (Which is equally meaningless, but less stressful.) (Except for when she sees our cat do something she's not supposed to do and pops out with "that fucking cat.") Anyway, where Charlie is right now is no predictor of where he will be in even six months. All kinds of things happen inside those brains where we can't see them.