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04/12/2006
Memory
The cause
The beneficiary of this raffle is Boulder, who is, on the surface, no different from any of us. She wants a baby, just like plenty of my friends inside the computer who haven't gotten lucky yet. She's planning an IVF cycle and has had to get creative about financing it, much as most of us have to do when cycling — especially repeatedly — is so expensive. And she's had more than her fair share of disappointment and loss, but then so have a lot of us.
(Oh, we do have fun, my friends inside the computer.)
But Boulder is special to me. When Charlie was born so early, under such alarming circumstances, Boulder was the mastermind of the online baby shower many of you took part in, which I regard as the most astonishing act of kindness I've ever experienced. For someone who's gone through so much, still with no baby to show for the years of pain, to plan a baby shower for a woman she's never met...
See, I get kind of teary every time.
When I learned Boulder was planning to do an IVF cycle with a gestational surrogate, I wanted to help. I want her to have that damn baby. I made a quilt.
And you! You wanted to help, too. 1,558 chances were sold, raising a total of $7,385.23 (after PayPal took its bloody cut).
I do not know what to say. And if you regularly read my site, you know that it is highly uncharacteristic for me to be at a loss for words. But " " doesn't make much of a post, so next I'll talk a bit about the prizes.
The prizes
There's the quilt, of course, and we'll get to that. Because there was such an enthusiastic response, I felt some additional prizes were in order. This time around, we have bath products from Lush — made from fresh ingredients, with no animal testing, and smelling really, really nice — and gift certificates for fabulousstationery.com, whose ad frequently runs on this site.
There are also scarves, just in time for winter!
Um.
The scarves, like the quilt, are pieced from 100% cotton prints in a spectrum gradient. They're backed with a very soft, plush polyester for warmth. Their bright colors are guaranteed to prevent you from getting lost in a snowbank or eaten by a larger predator; not unlike the protective coloration of a poison dart frog, these scarves will dissuade any of your natural enemies from tasting you. "Looks good," they will think, inasmuch as the more bloodthirsty larger mammals think, "but poison!"
Also suitable for draping casually over a piece of furniture, as if to say, "Bozo lives here"; restraining an angry cat who is being administered medication orally; or, in case of grievous bodily injury, fashioning a tourniquet that will soothe the patient into a peaceful psychedelic fugue state.
The quilt
I started the quilt back when I was still pregnant with Charlie. I originally intended it as a gift for Tertia, to thank her for her friendship at a time when I was scared and fragile. I wanted it to be ready before our babies were born. But Charlie's early birth — or as we like to call it around here, The Incident — pushed the project aside for several months.
By the time I was able to get back to it, working on it only for half an hour here and there, Tertia was home with her babies, and I knew it would be a long time before I managed to finish it. Fast forward to January of this year, when I learned of Boulder's plans, and hatched my own scheme.
Screw Tertia, I thought. She doesn't need a quilt. She has babies.
(Okay, it was a little less harsh than that.)
Tertia, of course, asshole though she is, agreed that Boulder needed the quilt more than she did. So I went back to work on it in earnest, spending long blocks of time at naptime, in the evenings, and on daycare mornings planning, cutting, sewing, and pressing.
It is by far the most elaborate quilt I've ever pieced. Each patch is individually chosen and cut for scale, color, and value. Many of the quilt's 1,000-plus pieces are fussy-cut, meaning that I looked carefully at a piece of fabric and cut out only the piece of the print that would work where I needed it to. I did not use many of the time-saving cutting and piecing techniques that can make quilts go together quickly; this quilt was slow.
The main unit of the quilt is a block called memory. I've been fascinated by this block for a few years now. By simply changing the values of the patches, you can create any number of interesting secondary designs. For this quilt, I chose to emphasize the lattice-like effect created by the prominent X in each block.
I also like the name of the block. In this quilt, it means something. It's memories of my pregnancy and the friendship that helped me through it. It's memories of other quilts I've made or contributed to, and the friends they've been given to — the fabrics in it are also in quilts for Jo, for Mollie, for Miss W., for Blue, for Menita, and the quilt for Emily Lynne; and it contains prints I've sent to friends who are adopting for their "100 good wishes" quilts. It's memories of the amazement I felt when we drove into our garage with Charlie in the back seat for the first time, to be gobsmacked by everything you'd sent.
Oh, blah, blah, blah, you know. This quilt only means everything to me.
It's quilted with a double cable running diagonally through each block in colors that match. The backing fabric is white, and the bobbin thread is in a variegated rainbow colorway, so the quilting shows well on the back. It's bordered in several different black-on-black prints, and bound in a striped fabric that gives the illusion of a spectrum progression.
There are closeup shots of corner 1, corner 2, corner 3, and corner 4, with an enchanting cameo appearance by the strap of my camera. There's also a close-up of the quilting.
They're all hard to give up, my quilts. This one especially so. There is an awful lot of love in that there quilt.
The winners
Now for the winners. I've sent e-mail to each of you. If you see your first name here but haven't received e-mail from me, it's probably because someone else with the same name won instead. I am sorry. Please take it up with your mother, who should have named you Tierrainney.
Our prizewinners are...
Winners of a $45 gift certificate for fabulousstationery.com:Lorraine and Stephanie!
Winner of a Lush "Anything But Ordinary" gift box: Cynthia!
Winner of a Lush "Happy" gift box: Cory!
Winner of a Lush "Flower Garden" gift box: Elizabeth!
Winners of a clown scarf and a $45 gift certificate for fabulousstationery.com: Amy and Brandee! (Brandee, please contact me; the e-mail address I have for you is bouncing.)
Winner of a clown scarf and a Lush "My Fair Lady" gift box: Jennifer!
Winner of a clown scarf and a Lush "Purple Haze" gift box: Melissa!
And, winner of the quilt, Tertia!
No, wait.
An entirely different Elizabeth!
Congratulations to each of the winners. My sincere and flabbergasted thanks to every one of you who entered. I never expected such staggering generosity. I am moved and inexpressibly grateful.
And ready to move on to the next big project, folding up every goddamn one of the eight million pieces of fabric I used in this quilt, which currently teeter in dangerous ceiling-high piles that threaten to engulf me in a linty avalanche every time I enter my sewing room.
If you don't hear from me soon, send help.
Comments (64)
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Gorgeous quilt and scarves....and double drat, I did not win...
any chance you'd sell a few scarves for Boulder's fund? I'd get in line for one or two...
thanks, now i am crying. people can be so nice. and you organizing the raffle and making the quilt is fabulous. of course i am bummed i didn't win, but there is always next time?
many many
xoxoxoxoxoxo
You are the most beautiful woman I have never seen. I love you, and I love that there are pieces of all our quilts in Boulders. May she get that baby of hers soon.
Julie, that quilt is gorgeous! I am working on my first quilt now (hope to finish this summer) and I can only hope that someday I can make something even half as beautiful.
What a good egg you are. The whole internet, really, is full of good eggs.
You know, I am in tears. I'm so excited to have helped Boulder, and I'm so very excited to have a scarf! And a gift certificate!! :) I feel like I won the lotto!! I'll email you promptly, Julie.
Congrats to all the winners, but mostly congrats to you Julie. You've found such a wonderful way to infuse such heartfelt generousity into Boulder's path. I'm inspired.
Forgot to add.....that is the most amazing quilt I have ever, ever seen. ever. Wow. OK, emailing you now. :)
Oh Julie, I'm so happy for Boulder! I cannot believe how wonderful and amazing and brilliant and absolutely fabulous people can be at times. So fucking happy for Boulder! May she get her baby now, please God.
The quilt is a true work of art, and even more amazing for the love that you can see in every single piece of fabric. Thank you, Julie, for allowing us to be a part of this. We are keeping our fingers crossed for Boulder!
Congrats to the winners!
Julie, thank you for doing this for Boulder!
Thank you very, very much.
I like to think I'm a nice person but I have to say, I entered the raffle out of pure avarice. The quilt is that amazingly beautiful. Well done, and I'm cheering for Boulder.
What? The bribe I sent you didn't work? I was supposed to win the quilt. I want my Vodka back.
You are a wonderful person Julie. And it pains me greatly to say that.
Julie, Your post made me cry. I wish I had won, but that is no big deal, honest!!! Your quilt is beautiful, and your love for your internet friends is amazing! Boulder is going to be one lucky mama when she thinks of her baby wrapped in love from a quilt raffled in the babies honor! Oh, and everytime I see the picture of the Amazon boxes in your garage, I cry like a baby!!
Well, I'm quite glad I didn't win the quilt now because after I'd read that I would have had to give it straight back to you.
And if that money doesn't make Boulder a baby then there really is no justice in this world.
Please post the pic of the baby shower gifts more often. It helps to restore my faith in karma... and humanity.
So do you.
As a a fellow quilter - albeit a total amateur - I just wanted to say what a wonderful work of art that quilt is! And more. What a wonderful work of love. You are a incredibly generous-hearted woman and a total star!
You so deserve your darling Charlie and all the gifts in your online shower! I wasn't 'around' the blogging world at the time, but I would have contributed if I could - all the way from the UK! (BTW, Maybe I'm nuts, but every time I see that picture of your garage, the boxes look like smiley faces to me :-D )
My dearest d-i-l Brooke is also currently facing the difficult choices relating to IVF, after several miscarriages. It's a painful place to be in. I really hope Boulder gets her baby - and Brooke too!
That quilt it stunning.
Julie, you inspire me to be a better mother and a better person. Thanks.
I am such a asshole in this life, i wish i were more loving and considerate and awesome like you.
Pray for me.
The quilt is to die for.
A simply breathtaking accomplishment! I have been reading for a few years now, and I'm always interested in everything you have to say---but over time you have also infected me with an urge to quilt and I find I turn to your quilting photos again and again. Despite my lack of knowledge, experience, or decent equipment (eg, my sewing machine dates from 1956 when my grandmother bought it at the Pfaff factory in Germany), I completed my first 2 quilts last month--for a friend who's expecting twins. They were nowhere near as wonderful as yours (simple pattern, no borders other than the binding, basic straight-line quilting on the diagonal, etc.), but even so, they were hard to give away. So, I am awed to read about you giving yours away.
Boulder is so very blessed to have you (and the rest of the Internet!) on her side.
Giddy! Congratulations! Finishing anything is worth celebrating, especially finishing two. Glad you're enjoying it.
Thank you, all, for your lovely words.
Oh, sweetie. You fucking rock.
Simply amazing...the quilt, the reason, the response. Yay for the internets.
I am just so amazed and delighted by the sheer amount of love and generosity that you and your friends have given to each other. I love this blog and I'm really so happy for the winners, for Boulder, for Tertia with her twins, for Julie with Charlie. May all women feel the kind of love and community that you've created here.
know what i hate? i hate it when i find a blog that i love and i bookmark it and check back again and again, thinking 'post! you're funny! i love to read you! post, dammit!' only to realized I'VE BOOKMARKED ONE CERTAIN ENTRY AND HAVE MISSED A FREAKING MONTH OF BLOGGING! WITH PRIZES!
*sigh* hi. my name's nita and i'm a techtard.
i have been a loyal reader for quite awhile. i, too, went through ivf to conceive my child (now 16 months old). we're going through the whole "can't afford to do it again" phase. i think what you're doing is so amazing.
i wish i had known you were doing additional prizes. i would be more than willing to donate some of my products. i make beautiful stationery, and i just opened a new website at www.shadesofviolet.com if you need any more prizes for anything at all, please contact me. i would love to help any way i can! again, what you're doing is so beautiful....
Hahahahaha ohhh.
Nita, I am laughing with you.
With you. I swear it.
Your quilt is just breathtaking and the spirit in which it was made is even more breathtaking.
You are a wonderful friend to help out Boulder with her gestational surrogate journey! I am a GS and it warms my heart that there are people like you out there!! :)
Thanks so much for the post, for organizing all this, for creating the most gorgeous quilt on earth, and for the bonus prizes! What a lovely way to start the day - thank you!
Julie you are a wonderful woman. Boulder is blessed to have you as a friend. I hope she sees a baby soon.
Aw, are you sure I'm not the Cynthia who won a prize? How dare someone else have my name! :)
Julie, this is a really great thing you've done. If only everyone did one thing this nice for a fellow human being, the world would be a much better place.
Congratulations to the winnahs! Thanks also to Julie, for inspiring many of us to be better friends to those we love.
Yaaaaay!
I didn't win, but....yaaaaaaay!
Proving once again you are multi-talented and have one amazingly big heart.
As someone who just took up quilting a few months ago, I am BLOWN AWAY by this quilt. Truly, truly amazing.
I am also proud to say that I know the special Elizabeth who won the quilt in real, honest-to-goodness life, so if I'm very nice to her, perhaps she'll even let me see the quilt. And touch in. And perhaps even sniff it, to catch Julie's enchanting musk.
I will apply extra musk just prior to sending to be sure that you can detect my special intoxicating funk.
Oh, my goodness. The quilt is so incredibly beautiful, and so is the gesture of holding this raffle, and the participation of everyone in it!
Congratulations to the winners! Hopefully the real winner here is Boulder. :)
I sell sewing machines for a living but can't sew worth a damn. Julie, you have a gift. No... you have many; quilting, writing, parenting, but mostly, your compassion. Oh wait... one more: generosity. You share everything I've listed with all of us. Thank you. xoxo
Oh wow. More than $7,000.00? I am amazed. Good job, internets.
Julie, that quilt is absolutely beautiful.
I'm the big winner! It's quite unreal, I must say.
This quilt is so beautiful and I almost feel guilty about accepting it. I entered the lottery not because I thought I'd get a prize, but because I wanted to help Boulder, who is the real big winner in all of this.
But I'm definitely keeping it, for purely selfish reasons. You know the old wives' tale about smelling a newborn making you pregnant? This quilt has so much love and so much hope sewn into it, it's got to have similar power.
I'll just echo everyone else and say what a wonderful person you are for doing this for Boulder.
Well...crap... now I'm all worried about large predators tasting me because I'm not poison.
Well, foo. I must not be the right Stephanie.
But, congrats to all the winners! That quilt is just beautiful, Julie. Reading what you wrote about it made me want to cry!
I hope all of this helps Boulder to have her "damn baby". And, damn soon, too.
Well, it was exciting just to take part in this. And, I do hope that Boulder gets to take home the grand prize.
you, julie, are an amazing testament to hope, goodness and light.
so glad to have contributed, so wonderful to have confirmation of true kindness.
you, and your dedication to motherhood, blow my mind!
What an amazing quilt! And such fabulous "runner-up" prizes. But, I shouldn't have been surprised considering the source.
My day was sucking in a huge way - total OHSS due to devil drugs for next round of IUI. Feeling exceptionally sorry for myself when my husband called to tell me yet another of our friends is pregnant. Good timing dear. I'm so evil to be jealous. Guilt sets in. Day ruined. I hobble home in tears. But wait! I read today's entry and am reminded that I am not alone, that there is, in fact, an entire universe of women who understand my life. You are all out there and in many cases having a much worse time but yet still find it in your hearts to help out a fellow sufferer. Wow. My day sucks much less now Julie, thanks again and again for putting yourself out there for the rest of. Goddamn if Boulder doesn't get her baby.
If I won I was going to give the quilt back to Julie to auction off for another charitable cause. Who knows if I would have actually done it, but just in case any of the winners care to consider giving us another chance...