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08/13/2006
And I'd like another bag of pretzels while you're at it
August 13, 2006
Mr. Glenn F. Tilton, Chairman and CEO
United Airlines
PO Box 66100
Chicago, IL 60666
Dear Mr. Tilton:
On July 27, 2006, my family and I had the pleasure of taking United's flight 559 from Chicago (ORD) to San Jose (SJC). Since I am a traveler of some small experience — see those three-letter airport codes? Not just anybody could look those up on her itinerary, bub — I was supremely well-equipped with food, drink, diversions, and diapers for my 18-month-old son.
As a brief digression, it may interest you to know that his name is Charlie, he can walk, he always travels in a purchased seat of his own — thereby entitling him, I believe, to adequate toilet facilities on board — and the cake is still all gone.
But back to the matter at hand. We boarded the plane and secured Charlie in his seat without incident. The next hour and a half was somewhat unpleasant, with our aircraft motionless on the tarmac as ORD air traffic control decided to feng shui the shit out of its departing flights, moving every single plane over to the opposite side of the airport. (If I didn't know your crew members were mild-mannered, courteous, and judicious to a man, I'd swear I overheard the pilot mutter something like, "All the way over to 32J? Yeah, well, you can take your lo pan and shove it straight up your Helpful Friends and Travel corner.")
During this long interval, we were instructed to get up to use the lavatories "only if you really, really, desperately need to go," and I quote. (I chose to keep my seat, if the state of my bladder on the date in question is of any relevance to your consideration of this matter.) Charlie then fussed and squirmed a bit, confined in his seat, forbidden to move freely about the cabin, use his personal electronic devices, or retrieve his personal belongings from the overhead bin, but overall he was as well behaved as we could reasonably expect. Thanks, Mr. Tilton — aw, hell, I'll just call you Glenn, because I like you — for putting those sudoku puzzles in the in-flight magazine. He loves those.
Once we were airborne at last, I was eager to free Charlie from his seat for a bit, so I walked up and down the aisle with him in my arms. One of our trips took us as far back as the galley, which is, on a 757, located just to the rear of the lavatories. (You probably don't do this on airplanes like they do on ships, but just because I'm feeling all jaunty, let's call it astern, me hearty. And a fine yo ho ho to you, sir.) A plump and comely serving wench — whoops, sorry, a flight attendant — warned me that the lavatories were occupied, thinking I'd come back to change Charlie's diaper.
I hadn't planned to just then, having girded his toddling loins with an overnight diaper just prior to boarding, but I knew sooner or later I'd need to, Charlie having consumed approximately two quarts of milk and a whole school of goldfish while sitting on the ground in Chicago, so I asked the flight attendant whether there were changing tables in the lavatories.
No, she told me. No, there were not. No changing tables on a 757, the aircraft that constitutes the core of your domestic fleet.
Now, I don't know how old the specific plane in question was, but since 757s have only been in production since the early '80s, we'll agree that it's probably no more than 20 years old. Maybe we're expected to believe that in the '80s when the 757 first rolled off the assembly line, parents didn't travel with their small children in tow. Or maybe the design of the plane was intended to harken back to the days when children wandered bottomless through the mule tracks of their villages, squatting unself-consciously wherever the impulse seized them. (The extra space in bulkhead suddenly makes more sense.) Or maybe the designers of the 757 were actually brilliant visionaries, imagining a gleaming future in which children would travel in high-tech hygiene bio-bubbles, their every need attended to through ports, hoses, and those cool integrated rubber gloves where you stick your hands in and just grope around, wiggling your fingers, becoming the bubble.
Whatever the case, it's a bad design, especially on an aircraft used mainly for mid-length and transcontinental flights, and you've had at least 20 years to figure it out. I assume — wait, that's disingenuous; rather, I merely hope without a great deal of faith — that any 757s United plans to acquire in the future have had this problem rectified.
More to the point, I would like to know why your company has not seen the need to retrofit its existing fleet with changing tables in the lavatory. Now, I know what you're going to say. You're going to say, "Gosh, Julie, I'm sorry, but it would just cost too much. Chapter 11 bankruptcy, September 11 disaster, blah blah blah blah blah." (If you're reading this aloud, raise your pitch for those last few "blah"s to an annoying mosquito-y whine. Thanks. If I could be there, I'd do it myself.)
But as a frequent customer of your airline, I have to tell you that that just won't fly. (Not only am I a savvy traveler, I'm one kickass writer, too. Like how I did that? Won't fly? Airline? Hah? Hah?!)
I can't begin to speculate about what it would cost to retrofit your existing fleet of about a hundred 757s. I do know one of those Koala Care fold-down tables costs approximately $150, though. Granted, it's probably not FAA-approved for in-flight use, so you'd need a different table. And that figure doesn't include the electric drill, the handful of random hardware, the tube of Liquid Nails, the six-pack of beer, the roll of duct tape, the Steely Dan CD, and the big box of Band-Aids I personally would require to get the job done. So let's move the estimate upward. Say it'll cost $2,000 per plane to do it.
Seems like it could be a lot more costly not to. Let's get back, shall we, to the conversation I was having with the flight attendant. She told me there were no changing tables, remember?
"Oh," I said to her, nonplussed. "Well, so, um, if I did have to change his diaper, what would you advise me to do?"
"Well," she told me, "we usually tell passengers either to use an empty seat or to spread a blanket on the floor of the galley and do it here."
Bet that made you lose your place in that sudoku grid, huh, Glenn? Your flight attendants are advising passengers to handle human feces in the main cabin of your aircraft. Not only are we being directed to inconvenience and probably disgust our fellow passengers, but we are told we're allowed to do so in the part of the plane where food for those passengers is being prepared.
Let's imagine for a moment how this would go down.
[Julie stands at the front of Y class holding a foul-smelling Charlie aloft.]
Julie: Hey, everybody, can I have your attention please? Yeah, okay, see, the thing is, my kid has a pantload. Now, there are no changing tables in the lavatories, so the flight attendant has suggested that I change his diaper somewhere in this cabin. Anyone mind if I do it right next to you? Oh, come on, people, suck it up! If foul-smelling recirculated air is good enough for the people in first class, it's good eno — oh! Hey, there's an idea!
[Julie backs up several steps to the head of the F-class cabin.]
Julie: Hi, y'all. The nice people back there thought you captains of industry might have more room up here for me to change this diaper. You won't mind if I just hunker down in the aisle here, right? Well, hey, it wasn't my idea. I suggested they spend a couple of thousand dollars per plane so that you wouldn't have to see this, but noooooo. Whoops, sorry, didn't mean to get shit on your Florsheim, sir — well, look, if you don't want me doing it here, I guess I could just go back to the galley like the flight attendant suggested...you know, where they're about to make the coffee and pass out snacks...?
[Exit, pursued by a bear.]
Yeah, I didn't think that would go over big with you, Glenn.
So what's it going to be? Changing tables on every aircraft, or a mutiny in F? Awaiting your swift and decisive action, and your courteous and respectful reply.
Sincerely,
Julie
P.S. "Change him in the lavatory while he stands"? Hahahahahaha. Good one, Glenn. I invite you to try it on our next trip. I'll even bring a Ziploc for the extra change of clothes you'd better have brought. But you have to mop out the lav afterward using only your hands and a wet wipe while balancing Charlie on your hip so that he can't splash in the commode. Fair's fair, after all.
P.P.S. I'm not kidding, Glenn. Fix it or I'll sic Samuel L. Jackson on your ass. (Artwork courtesy of Jill — thanks!)
Comments (97)
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You know, I really think you should actually send that. It might not get changing tables in 757, but I bet that man doesn't have enough good belly laughs during the day.
jetblue -- every plane, period has changing facilities (and, supposedly, some spare stuff just in case). owner has some large number of kids -- not sure if they serve your airports but its the way to go if you can.
Oh, dude.
I am going to be flying with a 14 month old to Brussels in October. In a 767 (American Airlines). I wonder where I could go to find out if there are changing tables on that plane?
I'm hoping that they unrestrict carry on items by then. I can NOT imagine flying with a baby and without toys. And I'll be 3 months pregnant then. Do I know how to party or what??
Somebody pass the tequila.
Personally, I'd like to see the REAL letter you sent and what his reply will be. I've never had to change a diaper on a plane (thank you, Lord) so none of these issues ever crossed my mind.
(I'd like to be a fly on the wall of his office if he were to actually read this one, though. hehehe)
You are hi-larious, Julie.
#$%^# United. Only trip I've ever taken my baby on was Vancouver to Hawaii via San Francisco, all United. 4 flights, no changetables in any washrooms.
Not changing him wasn't always an option, as I hadn't realized he'd kind of grown out of the only disposable diapers I had, so every (breastfed) poop was an explosion.
First time, I put him on my change pad on toilet seat (yuck yuck yuck). He was a long and wriggly 11 week old, didn't really fit. Next time I had to change him, I used the empty bit of floor in front of the doors. The last time I had to change him, I went to use the empty bit of floor outside the doors, when flight attendant said I couldn't for "hygienic reasons". (Not sure if she meant the baby's, or everyone else's?) Like you, I asked her, as politely as possible, what she thought would be a good solution. She suggested I sit on the toilet and change him in my lap. I replied that that wouldn't work, he was very wriggly and longer than my lap, and I wasn't about to risk him landing on the washroom floor. So, since this was only a two hour flight or so, I took him back to my seat and wrapped him in a United blanket, for my own hygiene. (No blankets were harmed, in the end.)
Will try really really hard never to fly United again.
Did I mention I WAS in Business Class (Sorry, FIRST CLASS as every United rep told me when I accidentally called it Business.)? Wish I'd gone back and changed him in the aisle. And you know, on a two hour flight at noon in Business (sorry FIRST CLASS), you'd think you'd be provided more to eat than a damn bag of pretzels.
I have never understood this either! On our last flight we didn't have the children and I pondered how we would change them if necessary. My idea was to just follow the beverage cart down the aisle, making sure that the aroma of poop could tickle the nose of the stewardess as she made her way. OF course it isn't really fair, as I am sure they wish changing tables had been installed so they didn't have to deal with it. My two year old son is currently in a 4/5t, is over 39 inches tall... I would really like to let them TRY to change him in a seat.
I do the "change him in the lavatory while he stands" deal. When he was a tiny baby, I changed him in the little beds they gave us for him to sleep in (this is obviously a trans-atlantic flight). After he was able to stand I packed pull-ups and changed him standing. Like R*Belle above, on our last trip my son was in 4/5 T clothes (and I got more than one "that monster is still in diapers???" look - hello, he was two years old!) and there was no freaking way he could have fit in a seat to be changed unless we cleared a whole row.
Oh, I do hope you send this.
And I wanted to second the recommendation for Jet Blue, especially in light of probable new security measures. Not only do they have changing tables, but provide tons of in-flight drinks and snacks, and have cartoons and nature shows on the seatback TVs. It made flying with a toddler almost tolerable.
I think you should send this letter too... would love to see if you get a response. Also make sure you cc: the Internets on it, so he can look it up later. ;-) Last Christmas I flew on a "short flight" from Chicago to Pittsburgh with my 2 yo and they weren't carrying MILK on those flights - why bother with a whole refrigeration unit when you are just carrying cans of soda and juice and a big tub of ice? I hope they rectify that situation if we are not going to be able to carry liquids on board, for god's sake. Flying with a plane full of juice-addled toddlers won't be good for anyone.
For those keeping track: no changing facilities on our Northwest 757 either. When we asked the flight attendant for a recommendation about changing our squirmy boy, she just shrugged.
Last time I flew, it was on Harmony(which only flies in and out Vancouver) and I was incredibly impessed. My son was 3, not toilet trained and very active. Just the two of us.
I don't know what type of plane it was but it had changing tables that folded out over the toilet. They also had activity back packs for the kids to keep. Included small book, minicar, crayons, paper, and goldfish snack. The staff were excellent. One of them offered to watch him while I used the facilities myself.
I haven't had to fly since but may plan all flights with kiddo via Vancouver from now on.
Perfect. I hope you did send this.
We were at Pei Wei (A chinese restaurant chain which we assume is owned by Paul Reubens) a couple of weeks ago and I had to change Graham on my lap while sitting on the bathroom floor. Which he thought was awesome and hilarious, but this is not about him. It's about me and my lap and the dirty bathroom floor and walking back out into a restaurant hoping to God I didn't have baby crap on my pants.
My husband suggested that I somehow use the internet to start a movement among parents. Our manifesto would be -- Attention Restaurants: If you don't have a changing table, we will go all Britney Spears diaper-changing-in-public on your ass. Wait. Not on your *ass*. Gross! But we will change our baby on one of the booths your nonsmoking section. Or maybe on the table! And then we'll smile and hand the poop-filled diaper to the waiter and say, "Could you take this for me? Thanks!" Or maybe we'll just leave the shit under a table for you to find later.
You have the readership Julie. You have the power to motivate with your words. This is your moment. Seize your moment, Julie! MAKE THE INTERNET demand changing tables! Think of the children. And of the poop.
Does it make me a total dork that I got really excited because a good friend of mine was on that very plane on her way to visit me?
People without kids don't understand how hard it can be to travel with them.
How did you end up changing the infamous diaper?
Oh..I feel this. On a flight from LAX to the east coast, I had to change my six month old ON THE TOILET SEAT. Now, that sounds makeshift enough until you realize that it only worked because he was no bigger than he was at the time. It also didn't really work, at least in the baby's opinion, because he got his head bonked (by me) on the curved area over the toilet. That's okay, though, the flight attendants offered ice for the bonk. They're probably used to it.
Freakin' hilarious post!, (as usual) :)
I too am curious as to how you actually did accomplish the diaper change.
I think that most of these poor designs are by men. Nothing against them, really, but these details probably just don't come up. As more and more men become involved with day to day childcare, I think design will reflect this. At least, we can hope.
Send that letter!!!!
I guess I've been really lucky with United b/c I've always found a changing table. I just can't imagine what I would have done without one. My stinker has pooped on every single flight we've ever taken him on. Now I'm nervous about our October flight. It's on American though.
I agree that you really should send this in!
I guess I've been really lucky with United b/c I've always found a changing table. I just can't imagine what I would have done without one. My stinker has pooped on every single flight we've ever taken him on. Now I'm nervous about our October flight. It's on American though.
I agree that you really should send this in!
I have never seen a changing table on an airplane. When you are on a full flight, changing a diaper is hell.
Bad news, folks. Airlines typically do not WANT parents with babies on the plane. They wish we would just go away and fly on some other airline. If you tell United you'll never fly them again, they'll just do a little happy dance.
I usually fly Continental, and some of their bathrooms have changing tables. The Airbus jets do NOT, however, so don't fly one of those. I had to change a frightened toddler on the vibrating floor of the galley. Then I had to go back to my seat, give that one to my husband and go get the other one and do the same. They were both very scared and it completely sucked.
Send the letter, definitely.
Yes, if the people with children tell airlines that they won't be returning, the airlines will squeal with glee.
BUT, if those of us who do not have children, or who may ever again travel without children, let the airlines know that we'd prefer not to think about shitty diapers on the seats/ galley floors/ first class aisle, they might stop to think. And then squeal with glee. Or change something.
THAT was my point, Renee!
We'd probably be arrested for it, but it would be kinda fun to put the poopy diapers in front of the cockpit door, in the manner of the flaming bag of dog crap prank from high school... I'll bet we'd really get arrested if we set said poopy diaper on fire. I have a criminal mind. I also probably will have an FBI file shortly after I post this...
Maybe if we all made a pact to use the flight attendants' jump seats as makeshift changing tables, something would give?
I SO feel your pain. Our last flight with our son (10 months old and in his own seat) - we were on the tarmac - 85 outside and no air conditioning running - for two hours. We'd spent more to buy a USAir ticket for a flight that would touch down and continue on to our final destination. Only problem is that they decided that they didn't want to use our plane for the second half of the flight. The flight attendant was confused as the plane was going to go on to our destination, but hours later. The 1-800 number told us that she was wrong, we were to stay on the plane. Ended up getting off, our flight left without us, 2 minutes after we landed. It was already late, and only one gate away, you'd think they could have held it. We had to talk to two gate agents, one customer service rep, and one supervisor to get re-booked. No one could figure out why we weren't on the second half of a "continue on" flight. They wanted us to make two more connections - said no because of the wee one, and then ended up landing someplace else, with no rental car. The restrooms in LGA (NY) had NO diaper deck in the women's bathroom that had marble counter tops. I was told that this was because this was a BUSINESS MAN'S airport. Ha!
We get to Boston, wait around for our luggage for an hour, get shuffled around by the clueless at baggage claim only to find out that not only do they not have our luggage, they have NO LUGGAGE AT ALL. Not one case was put on the plane. How does that happen?? Needless to say, I don't want to fly again with the wee one anytime soon because the industry is a complete disaster as I see it.
Annie, you can get plane amenity info at http://seatguru.com/ - they've got just about everything you could possibly want to know.
Song airlines (does it still exist?) also had changing tables and very kid-trained attendants. I'll be very said if it's gone...
Ah, but see the airlines should desperately want parents to fly with their children. We made 8 trips by plane (which equaled G-d knows how many actual planes since nearly every trip had at least one layover in each direction) when P was under 2 because we had to take him all over the freakin' country visiting relatives. Now that he's 2, we've taken him on ONE trip because one extra seat increases the amount we have to pay by 50%. To be honest, I've never been on a plane without a changing table. But then again, I mostly fly AirTran and Delta (being in Atlanta and all).
On the one trip we've taken since he turned 2, which was just P and I, we flew United. It was a miserable experience. On the first flight, the rows were so close together that P, who was sitting in his carseat, kicked the back of the seat in front of him every time he flexed his feet. Our original flights on the way there and back were canceled, so the great schedule I'd booked was gone to hell and I had to take whatever they gave me (which, on the way back, was going to be the NEXT day--I wouldn't do it because I had to be back for an HSG the next day, so they switched me to USAir with two layovers between NY and Atlanta). Oh, and they kept putting us in separate rows and telling me that it was up to me to ask people to move so that I could sit with him. My 2 year old. I wonder what would have happened if I'd said, "Nope, that's fine. He can sit in 10A and I'll be in 14E if he needs me!"
I will never again fly with United.
I really hope you send this letter!!
Yet another great post!
Take care
Actually, Julie, Eff the letter, send the link to this post to United. I bet they'd be very interested to see what people are saying. I know I'll be flying Jet Blue without question from here on....
Oh man, are you still on the west coast? That totally sucks. No hand sanitizer, bum cream, chapstick, water, or anything of the sort allowed in your carryon for the flight home! I was just saying to my dh today that if we had a flight planned with the kids in the next few weeks I'd just plain cancel the trip or drive instead. But I guess it could be worse - you could be in London and be forced to try to entertain a child for a 6-hour flight with NO CARRY-ON ITEMS WHATSOEVER!
I know they have to do this ridiculousness, but it's so crazy that we're going through such hell for the mere illusion of security that everyone knows is just an illusion. But nobody wants to say (out loud) "Gee, couldn't I just conceal a ziploc bag of liquids on my person? The metal detector wouldn't find it, and since I'm not being x-rayed or strip-searched prior to getting on the plane, neither would the TSA folks." But by golly, they're making darn sure to take away my chapstick!
Sorry, this is terribly off-topic but I couldn't resist a small rant.
Ah, yes... the Hostile Skies of United, as my family refers to them! We do our best to avoid them since the trip where they cancelled our flight, lost our seat assignments, yelled at us for not having any, tried to seat my 4-yr-old in an exit row, broke the *frame* of our stroller, and I got to see a flight attendant push a 7-yr-old passenger who was waiting to use the lavatory (and those are just the highlights). I second the recommendation for JetBlue. They're awesome for families. I've had flight attendants volunteer to carry our car seat aboard and install it; one carried my sleeping 2-yr-old off a flight, car seat and all; at the end of the jetway we found my stroller was not only waiting for us but they'd removed the cover and opened it up to be ready for her. They're friendly and kind and I've never seen them push anyone. We love JetBlue!
United has screwed with my husband so often, he refuses to fly with them. Even if they are flying the only non-stop to a city and everyone else has 2 or 3 connecting flights, he'll take the other guys.
He's had over 20 flight cancellations with them. Including the last flight of the day out of Boston (5x), the first flight of the day out of DC (10x - strange how they seem to be able to accomodate everyone on the next flight, each flight is only half-sold), and other sundry flights.
I LOVE YOU (in a non-creepy way of course!). I vote for send the letter...
I hope you sent it! I think it is ridiculous that airplanes don't have changing tables. I also think it's ridiculous when restaurants don't have them, and I have been know to rip off a dirty diaper in a booth right out in the dining room if that's the case. I don't care what anyone thinks or what they say. I'm NOT putting my kid down on the floor of a bathroom.
Great post, I especially like the imagine of the wet wipe and would personally LOVE to see Glenn dealing with that situation.
This is frickin' hillarious...as most of your posts are :) I'll rec Jet Blue as well...I don't travel with kids, but they're an awesome airline anyway!
On my flights with my son we took WestJet... The staff was awesome. Change tables, they held him while I peed, and they even had little baggies to put the diapers in... Then they disposed of it for me.
It mostly flies through Canada, but it does bop around the US here and there.
I say send the letter. I wrote a mean letter to a pharmacy when I had to change my son on the bathroom floor in their public bathroom, using my winter coat as a germ buffer. It's the only pharmacy in town, it caters to families... You'd think they'd have something.
Finally, a reason not to visit my mother-in-law.
Steely Dan ?????
Send it!!!
Please, please, please send it!!! Also send a copy to those nice folks at Boeing who designed the damn plane in the first place sans changing tables.
and I'm with Lisa from above: Another reason not to visit my mother in law!!
I have only flown with KLM/Northwest since I had my baby and didn't realize how lucky we were to have a changing table on every flight. Definitely send your letter and email the customer service rep a link to the comments. I think that parents need to let the airlines know that they spend money and demand decent service. I also buy a seat for my baby for every flight we make and at 18 months, she has done about 50,000 miles, making her a higher spending client than half the plane but she still gets only about a tenth of the service. Our problem has been getting them to bring us our stroller between flights, on our layovers. We've had one stoller lost completely, one damaged beyond repair, and only had use of it during a layover a handful of times. The last time a flew with KLM/Northwest I was alone with a squirmy 16-month old and had to switch planes with her, her carseat, a backpack and my purse, all of which just fit in the stroller. When I got off the plane they told me that they couldn't find the stroller so I would just have to figure out a way to cross the entire airport, "Maybe you could just push the car seat ahead of you with your foot?" When I refused to leave the customer service desk without some assistance to get to my gate (no yelling, cursing, name-calling, just 10 minutes of stubborn refusal) THEY CALLED THE AIRPORT POLICE TO ARREST ME. The most ludicrous thing I was told was that the golf carts are only for passengers unable to walk to their gate on their own. When I pointed out that the baby was unable to walk that far they said that babies are not considered passengers- even if they have paid more for their tickets than an adult. Why do the airlines feel like they can treat parents and children like this? Please, I beg every parent who has had a bad experience to write to customer service so that eventually the airlines realize that we demand that our children be treated better when they travel.
Shits On A Plane!
Please, Amalah: muthafuckin' plane.
oh my!! i was stuck on the same tarmac as you!! traveling from atlanta to austin!!
i have been on a few planes where there have been changing tables. ;) they might have been newer though!!
We flew back the day before all heck broke loose, and I'm glad to report that the Delta flight we took had a perfectly adequate changing table in the aft port-side lavatory. (They didn't have enough milk for even one carton per toddler on the plane, however. And the gate agent at the puddle-jumper for our final leg thought that it would be just great to seat Charlie four rows away.)
Next up: why business travelers would be much happier if more airport terminals had toddler play areas.
Not surprised.
We flew with my daughter from Detroit to Seattle when she was 7 months old. 1 layover (two planes) each way. She of course pooped within moments of take off each time (probably because of the pooping-immediately-after-nursing/eating phenom that babies have). So all told, I changed at least 4 poopy diapers on 4 different planes. Only ONE had a (decrepit) changing "table" that folded out to a 1x2 foot space (note, my baby was something like 18lbs & 28 inches). It didn't occur to me to ask a flight attendant what to do for the non-tabled flights. I did consider doing it in the aisle and even suggested it to my husband after I discovered there were no tables - he talked me into using the restroom in anyway I could, but now I wish I'd used the aisle!
So, for one I tried the chaning-while-standing in the sink. That was a disaster and we literally got poop everywhere (sorry fellow passengers!) though I tried to clean as best I could. The other two times I changed her on the toilet seat. Gross and barely effective. I can only imagine what it's going to be like flying with her this fall when she's 20m old. Eek.
FWIW - we generally only flight Northwest/KLM and it sounds like they were no better than United.
Oh, God, I haven't looked far enough down the pike to plan a plane trip with Jamie (11 months and teething; do the diaper math), but it ain't gonna be on United. I am, however, eagerly anticipating the "does this plane have a changing table?" exchange with the reservation attendant... WHEEE!!!!
Before you book, check your aircraft at seatguru.com. There's a little binky icon to signify a changing table. No binky, no peace!
I used to travel occasionally for business before I started staying home with my kids a year ago. I remember a particularly packed evening flight from Newark to San Antonio that a woman dared change her infant's diaper on the seat she'd purchased next to her for him and then proceeded to get a scathing lecture from the steward that it's unsanitary and dangerous to the health of other passengers to undiaper her 4 month old. "We could have a whole cabin of sick people, ma'am," he said tersely. And this is because she wanted to change her fussy baby rather than wait a half hour in the line to to the bathroom, probably to find out that they don't have changing tables in coach class and uh, no you CANNOT use the first class bathroom if you haven't purchased a first class ticket, idiot.