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09/26/2006
How to make an Ethiopian quilt
Hey, you know how I make quilts? And sometimes give them away to benefit friends in need of family-building help?
Another friend, another quilt.
Beth tells her own story far more vividly than I could. Unfortunately, its beginning is familiar to many of us. It's the end that's so exciting.
Though my husband and I hadn't used birth control since our second anniversary, it wasn't until our 11th year of marriage that we began to suspect that all those tales of getting pregnant after one wild ride in the backseat of a car might not be entirely true. The usual hellish battery of fertility testing pegged us as members of the elite club known as "Cause of Infertility: Unknown." I underwent cycle after cycle of drugs injected in various public places — restaurant restrooms, mall parking lots, coat closets at a class reunion, etc. — and the wild emotions that went along: weeklong bouts of hysterical crying, murderous rage toward dust balls on the floor, and hours of staring blankly into the mirror wondering why I was apparently the only infertile woman in the universe.
Finally, after several cycles of overreacting to the drugs, blowing up like a balloon — seriously, I looked very much like a giant frightened blowfish — and selling nearly everything we owned to pay for the privilege, we reached the summit of Everest and got pregnant. We were overjoyed. Our families thanked God for our blessing. We planned for a nursery and baby clothes and toys. My mom crocheted a wonderfully soft and lovely blanket and bought us a box of books and planners on pregnancy and babies. At Christmastime during the required ultrasound, when we expected to see a tiny body replacing the little blinking heartbeat we’d seen in the last ultrasound, our technician began to cry. Our baby had disappeared. At 10 weeks, she'd just thrown in the towel and gone back from whence she came without so much as a how-do-you-do.
Since the whole thing didn't seem real, we didn’t consider a D&C and it wasn’t strongly suggested. I now know what it feels like to give birth: I did it on the bathroom floor the day after New Year's at 3 in the morning alone. The pain, both physical and emotional, that wracked me that night lives in me even now, and it's far too easy to let it drift to the surface. So instead I'll tell you how my hell turned into a sparkling joyous Heaven.
About 8 months after that torturous night, my husband and I went to an informational meeting at a local adoption agency. They had just begun a program in Ethiopia and it immediately called to us. I feel as if someone was shouting to us that our baby had been born somewhere else. We started the process, decided we’d be open to a "waiting child" (one with mild challenges or treatable defects), and began the wait. The day after New Year's in 2005, we received a picture of a waiting child in Ethiopia, a sad-looking little girl of 3 years. We knew immediately she was ours.We borrowed and scraped, sold everything again, and flew to Ethiopia in April of that year. We drove up to the children’s home and got out. Right away a tiny body hurled itself across the yard screaming, "Mommy and Daddy!" I can't even think of that moment when our daughter leaped into our arms without crying. She is our gift and our truest blessing. She brings light and joy to the darkest corners. She is special. She is ours and we are hers forever. I never dreamed that such contentment and love and sheer dancing-in-the-sunshine joy was possible, but I am drunk with it every day.
We've also adopted her birth family as a branch of our own and sponsored her little sister (about 19 months old now) to ensure her health and well-being hoping that we could always know where she was for our daughter. Her family loves our daughter with all their hearts.
In March of this year we received a letter from our daughter's beloved grandmother asking us to take her other granddaughter, our daughter's sister. Life expectancy in Ethiopia is tragically only 59 years, and as she has been seriously ill and cannot afford to feed even herself despite the funds we send, she knows that she is nearing the end of her life. She explained that she knew from the stacks of photos we sent that her older granddaughter is happy and loved, and she wanted that for her baby granddaughter as well. How could we refuse?
After weeks of soul-searching and consideration of just how far into debt we could go and still see the light of day, we decided to just go for it. Yet again, we’ve sold everything we can and worked double time to afford it, and I hope to travel next month (October) to bring our little daughter home to her sister. We're in love with our baby already.
The chance for Beth's first daughter to be raised with her sister, a privilege lost to so many adopted children, is just too precious to waste. I want to help.
The quilt I'm making is well underway. The blocks for the top are more than halfway complete. My photographic ineptitude has rendered them duller looking than they actually are, but you should get the general idea:
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(The pattern, called Feathered Goose, is by Judy Niemeyer, who has graciously given permission for me to use it for this raffle.)
I have been trying to maintain a pace of making one block a day, but I've found that to be a little ambitious since each block takes approximately 3 hours. So let's say four blocks a week...carry the six, divide by nine, stick a needle in my belly, read Curious George and the Godforsaken Bunnies yet again...
Oh, hell, I don't know when it will be finished. But I am working on it steadily, and will continue to do so, and will post regular updates as warranted.
If you'd like to enter to win it, and to help two Ethiopian sisters reunite, you can enter here. Chances will go for $5 each. This is my last giveaway, so I thank you that much more sincerely for being a part of this.
Update: After reaching the first campaign's goal of $3,000 early Wednesday afternoon, I've opened a new campaign. Your generosity is magnificent!
Comments (65)
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This is really awesome...and your quilt is amazing so far! Just sent in my paltry donation....wish I could afford more, because that's such an ultra-cool cause.
Thanks for doing this Julie ... I sure hope these two are given this incredible life chance. I've made a contribution.
Wow...you makes some beautifull quilts. I wish I had your talent
yanicka
Hi, I'm a longtime lurker who loves your blog. I love the quilt too, and the reason behind making it; but I'm in Australia, does this exclude me from entering?
If so I'll just go and donate anyway...
Kirsten
Nope, I will happily ship. Thanks, Kristen.
Your quilt is lovely - but your desire to help this wonderful family is far more beautiful. Sent my donation - I wish Beth and her family all the best.
Done. What a beautiful story. I wish the all the best.
Julie, you rock, you roll, you are such a sweetheart! I love that you do this for others.
So cool.
And Beth, this fellow adoptive mother wishes you a speedy, straightforward process, how wonderful that you are bringing that beautiful little girl to your home!
I hope your kindness of spirit, generosity and warmth return to you in the form of a sibling you so want for Charlie.
The story is beautiful -- and so is your heart, Julie.
That is so sweet of you to do. Beth, good luck to you and your family.
Also, in the spirit of giving back, I am looking for a family that needs preemie clothes. I have many left from my preemie triplets, both boy and girl layette clothing. If anyone reading this knows someone needing them, please contact me at ohdarlin@gmail.com. I will pay to ship them, no costs associated- I just ask that the family really does need them.
Thanks!
I'm honored to be able to contribute. Good luck to Beth and family.
Gorgeous quilt. Brilliant cause. Donation sent.
Great Cause. I just made my donation.You are a very nice person. Really.
I'm assuming you notify via email/posting on your blog? 'Cause my actual name and my blog name/email are two different animals. One's a pig. The other, I'm not so sure.
I'm assuming you notify via email/posting on your blog? 'Cause my actual name and my blog name/email are two different animals. One's a pig. The other, I'm not so sure.
This is so beautiful that you are doing this for them. Bless you!
Oh my gosh! I'm a 'beginning' quilter, and I'm yet again filled with awe and wonder at your amazing quilting skills. And you do all this while raising Charlie! I waited until all my kids were grown up before even starting to learn!
You also have a very kind and generous heart. I would love to donate, but don't know how to, from the UK.
Hey! I did it! It's paypal! Doh! Donation made :-)
Julie, I have been an avid reader of you blog for some time now, ever since my "I want to have a baby" hormones started raging. Happy to say that I am one of the lucky ones, I am now 6 weeks pregnant with our first baby after only six months of trying. But your blog has really taught me that getting pregnant isn't as easy as some people think it to be and I have gained such great respect for all the people out there who go through such incredible efforts in order to fulfil their dream of having a family and giving all the love they have to a child of their own, whether it's a biological child or not.
Therefore I will gladly donate for this great cause of yours. Not for the chance of winning a quilt (which is beautiful by the way) but for the chance of helping these people bring home their daughters sister.
Love, Jacqueline from Holland
I feel like I have won the IVF lottery, and I love to spread that good karma wealth anyway I can. I am also in awe of your skills. Again, where on Earth do you find the time??? I have a thousand projects started but I haven't finished a one since the twins arrived. You're amazing!
Are you really 14 people? Your stamina, talent, and generosity (to name a few) are really...inspiring. Going off to make my donation...
Thanks for helping us all help, too.
Wow! It is so beautiful to think that the two sisters will be able to grow up together. Your quilt is amazing! I can't believe you find any time at all!
Hi Julie, I tried to donate but tha page won't allow me to select the UK. If this is fixed can you let me know? Thanks
Hi Julie -
I'm a long time lurker who couldn't pass up this opportunity to comment. What a wonderful cause to support. I've been through two miscarriages in the past three years. I don't know where you find the time for quilting with everything else going on in your life! I made a donation to help this family in need.
Heather
I'm in. I'm all about happy endings. Thanks for taking this on.
What a wonderfully sweet story!
Wow. What a wonderful story and a great cause. Julie - you are an amazing person.
I am an avid reader of your blog and you are an amazing person Julie. I made my donation with tears in my eyes. I wish you and your family all the best as you try to grow. I hope someday that I'm able to add one more to my family - however we decide to do it.
Julie - thanks for this. But what do you mean "this is my last giveaway?" Please tell me I am misinterpreting this.
What a great story, I hope everything goes smoothly for the family. Made my donation and sent to some friends, I hope we clobber your goal :)
Any pics of the girls?
Beth has posted pictures of the girls on her blog. Warning: ONLY LOOK AT THEM IF YOU NEED A GOOD WOW-THIS-IS-AMAZING CRY.
I've been reading your blog for sometime now and have never commented. Many of your stories have touched me, but this one especially. I have donated to your cause and really hope to help this family. They sound like such loving people and deserve the help.
Julie, I've happily donated again. It's a great cause, and I think your quilts are AMAZING, so the prize is much more than worth the price of participating.
Why have you decided it's your last one? Are you getting tired of quilting? OR too many RL people to make quilts for?
Julie, what an incredible family they are. Thank you for posting the link, for telling your readers about Beth and her family, and for doing this for them. I'm honored to join in donating to help them bring that baby to join her sister and their family.
(And your quilt is absolutely gorgeous. I join in with the others who are amazed that you are finding time to do this.)
Great cause! I am going to mention this over on my Ethiopia Adoption Blog
Mary, mom to many including two Ethiopian daughters
I would love to own one of your quilts. And for such a wonderful reason. Perfection in a raffle...I love it.
My Gawd, but you are a magnificent quilter. I am in awe of your talent. It pales, however, in comparison to your grace and generosity. You are my heroine. Be blessed, Julie!
Hey, I can't donate! As much as I LOVE your quilt--and I do--and would love a chance to win one, I'm even more interested in donating. Any way to do that?
Can I enter for a chance to have Beth bring back an extra baby for me?
Guess I'm too late for the contest, but I'm with some of the others. Is there any way we can donate anyway?
You are truly an angel girl. The quilt is going to be beautiful!
Would love to donate, or maybe to the Ethiopian birth family if the other goal has been reached?
Loved the interview, BTW. I listened to it while cleaning the house during my boys' naptime, and by the time I was done, I felt a renewed sense of gratitude for all IVF has brought me, even the sticky toys and poopy diapers. I feel pretty at peace with having our 2 right now, but I know I'd want another if I had a singleton. I hope it happens for you soon.
You last giveaway?? :( I love participating in these, and I love the chance to help normal every day women who need a little help. I'm very sorry this is the last, but Lord knows you've done your fair share in spreading womanly love and help...
What's more beautiful - your quilts or your generosity? I'm not sure.
I'm off to buy my chances at winning - and if not, helping somebody who really needs it.
I clicked the link but there was not an option to buy a ticket - is that because the goal was reached? I say raise the goal!
Yes, I hope I'm not too late. More money = good and it's a beautiful quilt!
Second for raising the goal- I'd love to enter.
If there is a way to donate without trying for the quilt, that's fine too.
I love me some quilt action. And a good wow-this-is-amazing cry. I raise my glass to you. (Yes, again.)
Help! I want to donate even though the drawing is full - please point the way! Thanks!!!
Grr. You and your wimpy goals.
I also was going to donate, but the goal has been reached. Please let us know if it can be reopened.