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02/09/2007
Adjusted
Charlie's due date has arrived. He is two years old adjusted.
This is kind of an awkward time for me to write a loving tribute. The last few days have been rough, so rough that I've been tempted to reassess my heretofore uncompromising stance on strong drink before breakfast. (Do not worry. While my resolve may have weakened enough to finish last night's bottle along with the last few scraps of Charlie's breakfast, I have not yet sunk so far as to open a fresh one. Recommended pairings: Bonny Doon Muscat Vin de Glacière with three ragged edges of a whole-grain waffle; Inniskillin Riesling Icewine with a handful of soggy Cheerios; and an aged tawny port with the last few fatty smears off the lid of the banana YoBaby.)
It's merely what you expect from a toddler, the freakouts out of nowhere, the testing of limits, the full-scale Three Mile Islands when his desires are thwarted. Although it's compounded these days by a cold he can't seem to shake, its attendant asthma, and, most debilitating, a nap strike, it is normal.
Absolutely normal. That's how Charlie seems. Aside from a continuing wobble which makes me suspect his next evaluation will call for further physical therapy, he is normal. A cheerful, affectionate, funny creature. A delightful companion. An agreeable little person whose small spotless soul is occasionally borrowed, with no more ceremony than a cup of sugar, by the devil.
Charlie at two years adjusted:
Sleeps. If he wakes in the night, it's because something's wrong. "Want a little cuddle," he'll say as I approach his crib. I pick him up and fold him against me, chest to chest, his head on my shoulder. We sit in the rocking chair and I pat his back. After a few minutes he says either, "Ready to get in the bed," or "Hi. Hi! Mama and Charlie are in the rocking chair. Hi. Hello. Want to read a book! Yes. Sheep in a Jeep! Sheep in a Shop! Sheep Go Out to Lunch! Yesssss." (No. Jesus. No. Sheep go to sleep.)
Knows simple shapes and some complicated ones. ("That's a cyninder.") Knows colors, to a point:
Julie: Charlie, what color is your cup?
Charlie: Orange.
Julie: Right! What color is your shirt?
Charlie: Green.
Julie: Yes. What color are your pants?
Charlie: Cargo.
You know, close enough.
Reads. Charlie loves books. There is a close proportional relationship between how much a book annoys me and how ardently he loves it. Right now he is in a serious monogamous relationship with the Little Golden Book classic, Tootle, and repeats lines from it with great feeling as he goes about his daily business. "...Calling out the long, sad ToooOoot of the big locomotives," he will tell me mournfully as I advance upon him with a toothbrush.
Eats. He is extremely fond of meat and dairy fat, God bless his American gullet, and almost as interested in fruit. Vegetables are a toss-up: one day he may be cramming entire stalks of asparagus into his mouth as if he were a sword swallower in training, and the next he'll be taking a single bite, making a horrible face, removing it from his mouth and saying in a tone of hurt and betrayal, "Charlie doesn't like dat." I mix peas and chopped spinach and cubes of cooked carrot into virtually everything to assure he gets sufficient. (Recommended pairing: chopped cauliflower and Annie's Shells and Cheddar. Little kids are kind of dumb.)
Plays. He is imaginative: "Charlie is a bunny. Benjamin Bunny." "Charlie is a dog." "Charlie's name is Topsy Turvy." "Charlie is Godzilla." He is industrious, moving what seems like an entire silo of dried beans from one end of the kitchen to another, single scoop by scoop. He is fun-loving, grabbing my hand and moving it to his abdomen saying hopefully, "Mama will tickle you." He loves to help in the kitchen, likes to color, and will, with reasonable good grace, tolerate being towed around the yard in his red plastic sled. ("Charlie is Peter in a snowy day. By Ezra Jack Keats. To Tick, John, and Rosalie. Yes.") He loves music, to the point where he now insists that the tart yellow citrus fruit is called a la-la-lemon. And he likes to play in shaving cream.
He is two, for real, adjusted. He is normal. He is lovely. And, hey, since it's now well past the breakfast hour, I'm not even drunk as I say so.
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He IS lovely. Thank you for sharing that. I love the photos of him in the shaving cream. That was a favorite activity of the kids I used to watch in daycare.
Very touching. He sounds like a smart, funny, wonderful, normal child. Plus, he's pretty darn cute, too!
He is gorgeous! 2 year olds like to get mucky as proved by my daughter just wandering in with bright green eyes, cheeks and hands. I didn't even know she had the paint! Less drinks with breakfast for me.
Wonderful, wonderful! I am once again impressed by his vocabulary. As a mother of an 18-month old, I'm looking forward to complete sentences.
I am so happy for you. He is adorable — what a vocabulary!!
Wow. My KayTar will be 2 on the 22nd and I'm always shocked by what "normal" kids her age are doing. She is delayed. When I started blogging I actually AVOIDED blogs with children her age (you must have slipped in under the radar)...to avoid these perky realization moments. But we've been doing this for long enough that these moments are more like a "Wow. That's cool." instead of a spiral towards doom. *lol*
ALL of that blather was to say, "Way to go, Charlie! You are one impressive little dude!"
I have to tell you that reading your posts for the past 2 maybe 3 years has been such a delight. Your little Charlie sounds very bright and intelligent. Most kids his age don't have 1/2 the vocabulary of that little miracle. He is absolutley gifted! Happy adjusted b-day Charlie! I think you should have a b-day party with lots of balloons and presents to celebrate. Gosh Julie he is SO SMART!!!!!
He's beautiful! ...and, oh my God, the vocabulary...amazing.
He looks like such a boy now! His tantrums will reach a peak, and then he will go more reasonable and more enjoyable. It's happened with all my kids at different times -5, 7, 8. I expect Mason will be about 35.
The parenting it gets easier in many ways, and the drinking is left for celebration rather than consolation.
Ah shit you made me cry again. He is a real little boy, warts and all. But mostly all.
The Snowy Day was one of my favorites when I was little. I still have a copy.
I was so glad to read that my son is not the only one who turns into a demon a few times a day.
Your son is beautiful. :)
He kicks ass, just like his Momma.
What a sweet boy! I like playing in shaving cream, too, much to my husband's chagrin.
And Bonny Doon wines are my favourite. We went there on our honeymoon and now they are all I want.
Aww! Welcome to the Terrible Twos Charlie! I have a feeling you will get away with murder when you wear that smile.
Wow, those shaving cream photos are the first I've seen of Charlie in a LONG time, and I'm struck by how much he looks like a little boy. Somehow my image of him stayed as I last saw him -- as a baby -- even though I knew he couldn't be. Again I say, Wow. He looks GREAT.
There is a close proportional relationship between how irritating a child is capable of being at their Three Mile Island worst, and how over-the-top cartoonishly precious they are capable of being. And in the long run, wouldn't you rather have the world's CUTEST KID and a lot of stories to tell?
I have three of the world's cutest kids.
Research has shown that babies make good marriages better and bad marriages worse. They make neat freaks neater and slobs sloppier. They magnify everything good and bad to the nth degree. Even if he IS two years adjusted, Charlie is still enough of a baby, I think, to have that effect on a family. So I imagine, based on my own personal experience of having moments of inarticulate grunting in my life accompanied by one or more small children, that your house must be a lively place, indeed. Which as you well know, is often both the greatest good thing in life and the last thing in the world one wants when one is in mid-grunt.
Happy adjusted birthday to Tah-nee, from my sixteen-month-old, who thinks he's a rather dashing fellow judging by the fervent commentary on his pictures ("Baby! Baby [sign for drink] myurrrrrrq. Baby bubbles? Bath? Baby bath?").
You're SO FUNNY! You need a syndicated column, you do! Or you and Julia could get together and write a sitcom.
That shaving cream mess looks like a lot of fun.
Julie -- I started reading your blog back when I was pg with my newborn son, Evan. HOw prophetic it became for us because his due date was 2/7/07, but he arrived on 12/4/06 at 30 weeks, 5 days...just a week longer in gestation than what you carried Charlie. I feel like I'm getting an idea of what we're in store for with Evan by reading here.
Hahaha. I LOVE the shaving cream pictures.
He's grown so much! I love his sweet smile-what a gorgeous boy you have, Julie. :)
Congratulations, Julie! Charlie is adorable, and I have a special spot in my heart for any child who loves Tootle, the first in a long line of books I have adored. And as always, it's such a pleasure to read your writing.
Oh, how I love your recountings of the things that Charlie says. They never fail to bring a smile to my face. And drinking before breakfast is absolutely fine as long as you combine it with orange juice.
Happy adjusted, Charlie!
He's such a big boy now -- and such a vocabulary on that boy! It appears he takes after his mama!
Yes, you ARE drunk, because there is NO WAY that grown-up young man is a mere two years of age.
WHEN DID HE GET SO BIG?????????? I'm sitting here with my jaw in my lap at the size of that formerly teeny tiny guy, and at all the things he's doing. You sure don't need to worry about language development, do you? That is one bright kid.
Happy Adjusted B-day, Charlie. Now go get your mom another drink. ;-)
Those pictures are all kinds of awesome. And I love his haircut! He's such a boy now.
Ah, the adjusted age of two when the adjusted falls away and he simply becomes two. The pictures are awesome and you gave a perfect loving tribute to Charlie despite the port and the tantrums.
Congratulations on your beautiful boy and for making it here.
You're giving us preemie moms something to hope for.
Brilliant! They have a messy sensory table at your playgroup. Yo should suggest they have jello one day, unless they already do. Also painting with hands and feet! With big tubs of paint. Really, really messy- you really, really don't ever want to do it at home.
Charlie sounds delightful. Well, he would to someone 5000 miles away who's never seen him tantrum...
Damn, you're a funny writer (but, I already knew that). Hang in there, the tantrums will fade away, given time.
What a love.
Hooray for Charlie! What a beautiful boy.
sounds pretty good to me! :)
Aren't toddler boys adorable? I could just eat them with a spoon.
Yay Charlie! I had no idea he was so well-read, either. May I recommend Bear Snores On? It's a popular favorite at the library where I work.
This blog thing is surreal. It's like watching a TV drama. Though I wish I could buy the next series on DVD and see that you're all bounced back. If you ever visit NZ I could cheer you up with boring scenic trips.
Charlie sounds a joy.
Go Charlie go. Note to self: Must try that cauliflower and shells and cheese trick.
Do you really and truly like those sweet, sweet wines? If so, you must marry me. Are you in Vermont? We'll do a civil union, then.
However, if you're just teasing and think Riesling and vin de glaciere and Moscato and similar elixirs are for wusses and taste like juice, then I am mortally wounded, and our marriage feels a tad abusive.
Damn, your kid is articulate. (And clean!) My kid couldn't quite say "mama" at 2 years adjusted. And WTF? My first-grader just last week learned the word "cylinder." Maybe you and I understood "introducing solids" in different ways, eh?
I love "Sheep in a Jeep," but yes, there should be a "Sheep Go to Sleep" sequel.
He's a beaut!
Thanks for another great post. Like many others, I started reading your blog when Charlie was just a wee lad. The pictures, the antics, the four-syllable vocab. words are funny/shocking!(he's so big)/delightful to read.
Since you posted the La La Lemon song, did you also know that there's an album "Just For Kids" with a great remake of that song by the BareNaked Ladies? Annoying band sometimes, but the album as a whole is a personal favorite.
Rachel, that's where he learned the song! (I personally am more than a little partial to "We Gotta Be Clean.")
And Mahna Mahna, and the Hoppity Song, and...yeah - it's a great album. And do you and Charlie know "Dog Train?" Again, various artists for kids, but appreciated by Adults.
(btw, feel like I'm posting with Paris Hilton or LiLo. Very star-struck and I've loved your blog for years now...)
Great update. And I might try the Annie's Shells and Cheese + Cauliflower for myself.
He is indeed lovely. What a handsome, adorable boy!
To Tick, John and Rosalie -- yes! Does Charlie also obsess about the big boys' snowball fight? Our Chebbles has been obsessed with that page. Why aren't they nicer to Peter for cripes' sake? Is he just asking for it with that pointy red hood?
Anyway, congratulations on making it to the terrible adjusted twos!
Re: shaving cream - I think I just figured out what to do for fun tomorrow night....
You must be so proud, Julie. I hope that he never forgets how lucky he is to have you as his mother.
Charlie is amazing. I think at 24 months adjusted is about the time where docs and other professionals stop doing the adjusted age thing. (I would have to ask my mom on this one, she might say 2.9) Either way, bobble or no, he is ahead of the curve...way ahead. Of course, the smart creative ones are the most challenging. I predict many more liquid meals in your future :)
God what a cutie!!! And so many words!!! Happy Birthday Charlie! My first drink of the day will be for you!!! (The second is for your Mom..3 is for me..it's gonna be a great start!!!
I am so happy for you and Paul -- Charlie is absolutely precious! After all you've both gone through, that gorgeous boy is your much-deserved reward.
As for the drinking -- well, I think that becomes a permissible 24/7 thing as soon as you have a child. I want a sweatshirt that says, in sum and substance, "I drink wine because my children whine." Could be a top-seller, you know?