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05/07/2007
The angels wanna wear my white shoes
It's National Nurses Week, and long past time I thanked the ones who've helped me.
Dear nurse who patiently helped me down the hall when I found it impossible to walk upright during my excellent ectopic adventure,
I am so glad you said, "You don't look like you feel very well," instead of taking one look at my unearthly pallor, scanning my neck for two fang-spaced puncture wounds, and demanding the name of the undead fiend who'd sucked out my very life's-blood so that you could notify the public health department.
I still think about how kind you were. Thanks for that.
Dear nurse who said, when she noticed on my chart that I'd had three pregnancies but only one live birth, "Ohhhh. I'm so sorry,"
Right answer. Thank you. You wouldn't believe how rarely that happens. Hmm...or maybe you would.
Dear nurse who held my hand during an in-office no-anesthetic D&C,
It was probably not intentional, the way you leaned your body against my arm as the doctor worked, but at the time it felt like that pressure and warmth were the only things that kept me from floating away. Not that I wouldn't have preferred a Valium, but I know that wasn't your fault.
Dear nurse who never, ever, ever made me feel self-conscious about continuing to cycle even as it became obvious even to me that for all the good those thousands of dollars of Follistim did me, I might as well have been mainlining weed killer,
You're an absolute pro, and exquisitely compassionate besides. I am grateful. Even after I started feeling like the punchline to a deeply unfunny joke, I never felt you thought I was one.
Dear nurse who sat quietly with me by Charlie's isolette with your arm around my shoulders that night we thought he might die,
Whoops, can't type. Eyes blurred. Teary. Still, two and a half years later. I remember you.
Dear nurse who said casually, as you drew my blood, that you'd done fertility treatments, too,
Oh, my God, didn't that suck?
And thanks for telling me. That was a gift, and I know it makes your patients feel less alone, because it made me — even cranky veteran me — feel that way.
I do earnestly hope you found your way to parenthood.
P.S. Didn't that suck?!
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People who care make a huge difference. I'm glad you experienced their kindness during each of those times.
Just wanted to say your blog is so important and you help more people than you will ever know. Keep up the good work!
Oh yeah. I have some good nurse memories, too.
I guess it's like teachers. There's good ones and bad ones and then there's the few who touch your life forever.
Good post.
What a tender post, Julie. I only wish these nurses you mention had the opportunity to read your kind words. I bet it would mean the world to them, to know they made such an impact on your life.
I am grateful to the psychiatric nurse who told me "you don't have to read his letters and you can hang up on his phone calls." (Somehow that hadn't occurred to me after more than a year-I thought I had to be nice.)
I have a tendancy to remember the people who weren't kind; the folks who told me to "just relax." It's good to remember the compassionate people out there, too.
1) The nurse who took time to call me, every single day to tell me my E2 and give me my dosages, even though she had officially moved onto another position.
2) All of the nurses, every single last one of them, who looked after me with compassion and understanding when I was on bedrest.
3) The LPN who held me up and helped me to walk when I couldn't and never, ever made me ashamed of that fact.
It's amazing what a difference a kind word or an understanding touch can make. Glad that you have experienced many of those along this hard road you have travelled.
Oh my, you have no idea how much it means to read a post like this. We (nurses) don't hear words like this enough. I am glad you have had some good nurses in your life.
There are some good ones out there. Nice post.
Of course I read this AFTER I've finally decided, after five years, that I don't want to finish nursing school anymore.
-sigh-
Bravo Julie, excellent post.
I'm pretty sure I would crumple into a tiny, helpless ball on the floor if I had to do their job for a day.
Nurses everywhere, you are my heroes.
Bravo, Julie! Nurses really are heroic folks.
It's amazing how much a health care professional who can offer you the exact support you need (mental, physical or spiritual) will change your life forever.
If you get a chance, I'd like to share the same sort of adoration Constance and I have for our new RE - she might be the kind of woman that, years from now, will get a book dedicated in her honor.
To all great health care providers, I salute you.
Hearing that makes me glad I went to nursing school. There are some burnt out nurses out there, but most of us care a lot about our patients, you're not just another face.
Thanks, Julie. In the blog world we tend to only hear the negative side of nurses and sometimes it gets discouraging for those of us who are trying to maintain professionalism and compassion. This was really nice to read, better than getting a crappy thermos from my manager.
I appreciate the nurse who told me I wasn't nearly as demanding as she had been warned.
Six years later, and I still remember the nurses who helped keep my older child in this world. I still get teary eyed too.
Thanks for the inspiration, I just wrote my wonder nurse.
Thank you. I'm not any of those nurses, and even though I haven't practiced in several years, it's nice to hear someone appreciate us :)
thanks for mentioning this
my fil is in the cardiac ICU unit at the moment and receiving damn fine care, I need to bring his nurses some chocolate!
thank you to the nurses who stayed with me in the cardiac ward watching SNL when I was too scared to sleep and traded bad boyfriend stories with me. I never would have made it through with a shred of sanity without you.
And as a social worker, any thanks to my or my fellow helping professionals work makes our lives so much happier. So thank YOU, Julie, too.
And I'd like to add to that my thanks to the nurses in the NICU where my nephew, born at twenty-six weeks, lived out the whole of his 11 days of life. Three shifts of the most decent, dedicated, compassionate, endlessly patient people with hardest goddamn job there ever was, and, though it was pretty much hopeless from the start, never ever made it seem that way. Thanks, ladies.
And thanks, Julie, for reminding us whom to thank.
~C~
As a nursing student, this post means the world to me. Thank you so much for acknowledging the nurses who made a difference to you.
Nurses don't get paid enough. Not even the not so great ones, but particularly the really good ones who make you feel like you are the most important patient they have, even though they probably have hundreds and make them ALL feel that way.
I personally owe a kindness I can never repay to: The wonderful anesthesia nurse who held my hand and talked to me while the docs sewed me up after my C section, told me how my twins were doing, and said "It's really ok to vomit, everybody does, I'll take care of you" 2) the nurse who plugged the stupid phone into the wall so I could call my husband, when everyone else was rushing around me getting me ready, so he wouldn't miss the birth of his children 3) the nurse who came running, and I mean running, when I was throwing up all over in the middle of the night,whisked my babies to the nursery and who brought me heated blankets and ginger ale 4) the super-fantastic visiting nurse who came to my home in a blizzard, held my hand while I cried all over the place, helped me nurse my babies better than the lactation consultant did, and told me that I wouldn't be a bad mother if I had to supplement with formula. And most of all to the hospice nurses who helped my grandmother to die in her own home with dignity, and held my grandfather's hand and wept with her at her passing.
Thank you Julie for this wonderful post. I have tears in my eyes now, too.
Oh, man. I'm crying.
Two come to mind for me:
The nurse who yelled at the doctor for telling me in the waiting room(yes, in the waiting room, in front of a dozen eagerly listening people after he'd made me get dressed while in excruciating pain, the blood faucet between my legs on full blast) that I was likely losing the baby. She then took me into an empty exam room, covered me in a warmed blanket, dimmed the lights, and stroked my head while I cried. To her: I still remember your face, but I never got your name. You'll never know how much that meant to me.
And to the NICU nurses who saved my daughter's life before we were her parents, when she had no one... who insisted she get the best care, who made her a baby book, and bought her clothes, and gave her kangaroo care when their shifts were over...
For these overworked, underpaid, wonderful, wonderful women-- there is nothing I could possibly say to you that could ever be enough.
I'm an RN, and it's great to hear thanks from patients and families. It's more then we're getting from management these days. I work in a hospital, and for nurses week, each day is themed. Our reward? Bring in your own food each day to share, based on the theme. Management will provide the sodas. Gee thanks, I do that everyday. It's called lunch.
But your post brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for being a good patient.
To the nurse who sat with me and kept me gentle company while my daughter was in NICU that first awful night after she was born. Her name was Marie, and Marie, I thank you. (After all was over, I brought her some chocolates.. thanked her then, too.)
What a wonderful post. I have two siblings who are nurses and I really don't get how they continue to tap that endless well of compassion. I'm told they just fall in love with many of their patients. And you, Julie, are precisely that kind of patient for them, apparently.
Thank you Julie... as a nurse I've heard plenty of the awful stories of my coworkers and unfortunately been witness to some of the huge blunders that can occur. It's nice to know that there are good nurses out there that make the profession proud. I hope most days as a nurse I leave the best part of me rather than the worst.
aw, so sweet.
it's nice to hear nice things about us sometimes. thank goodness we get a whole week.
it's the second best job in the world.
I will always remember the two nurses who switched back and forth while I was giving birth to A. They never made me feel I was less than because my baby was dead. And the way they took care of me and him...
And my OB's nurse. Can't even pick just one thing for what I remember. I guess today it's her telling me she thinks of me and wonders how I am doing. Wish I'd known it is Nurse's week, so I could've said something to her when we spoke today.
Now I want to write out why I am grateful to each of them. I will try to do that tonight.
I will always remember the nurse who took care of my Father in the ER while he had a heart attack and when I mentioned that he had been grey, she said "No dear, we prefer to call that pasty". I still see her from time to time 13 years later and she always asks how my Dad is doing.
The palative care nurse who took care of my Grandmother, who called first thing in the morning to say that she didn't have much time left and when we got to the hospital she had moved the other patient out, opened the blinds to let the sunlight in and turned on some classical music. She cried with us when my Grandmother passed.
To the nurse the day my daughter was born, her name was Jane. She was tiny, she had to stand on the legs of the IV pole to hand a bag. After a horribly botched birth with my son, she listened to my fears, held my hand, told everyone to be extra gentle with me and was shining example of true caring.
Thank you, Julie! It means SO MUCH to us nurses, appreciation from our patients. Hoping to make a difference in people's lives, especially when they're at their most vulnerable - that's the ideal we strive for. Thanks for sharing.
Oh, I'm bawling here. There are some great people out there who have touched my life too.
Thank you to most of the NICU nurses who watched over my daughter and us during her 15-day stay in the NICU, tolerating my constant questions and such even though my girl was a relatively healthy NICU baby. And thank you to every one of the fantastic PICU nurses who looked after her a couple of months ago when she came close to dying from RSV and sepsis, a mere week after her second birthday. Every one of those ladies was a shining beacon of compassion and professionalism.
I've only been in the hospital once, for my c-section, and my experience with nurses at various doctors offices through the years has been a mixed bag. But at the hospital, I never wanted to thank someone as much as the sweet nurse who was my age, who cleaned my still numb lower half off a few hours after my c-section, while my brand new daughter slept in the bassinet next to me there in the post-op ward.
I didn't realize all that she was doing and the ickyness that was my post-baby and c-section down there till I was able to get out of bed and take care of it myself. I thank you, Jackie (I think that was your name...), for going into a profession where you have to do things like that, and for doing it with such kindness and understanding for a clueless new mom.
As a nurse, I just have to say thank YOU....so many times we hear the complaints but not from the patients we meant something to....
Thanks Mickie for the painless and efficient blood draws for platelet counts. Every morning I'd wake up and pray that you were on....
Thanks to the nameless nurse that brought Lucy out of the step-down nursery to me so that I could finally meet her
Thanks to Alex for getting me through the HELLP, DIC, preeclampsia and kidney failure and for not calling me a raving lunatic when I showed up in L&D 19 months later in labor.... but just laughed like a drain, got my Peri on the phone, kept all the idiot residents away and celebrated with me that this time nothing was going wrong....
We nurse because you are all worth it, worth caring about, worth worrying about, worth spending our time and energy on. Thank you for your stories.
What a beautiful post. I still remember the nurse who told me, "It's OK to cry" after my newborn daughter was taken to NICU right after birth. My mother kept telling me that "it's OK, it's fine, why are you crying?" which I knew was because SHE was nervous. I was so grateful to that nurse for just letting me BE.
To the nurse who came running when I was vomiting all over the hospital room to give me anti-nausea drugs.
To the nurse who carefully and patiently helped me up off of the recovery bed after (yet another) surgery to relieve endometriosis. After 6 liters of fluid my only concern was getting to the bathroom....quickly. She kindly helped me to the room, gave me something to vomit in when I got nauseous along the way (twice), helped me in the bathroom and back into the bed. She never once complained about helping me walk or pulling up my fancy post-op mesh panties when I was done. Such professionalism from a person when you are at your most defenseless.
To the nurse for my RE. For personally calling my pharmacy after the 4th time that they had messed up my drug order and demanding that they get my order right, because I was too tired, too fragile and overwhelmed to be sure I was getting the right drugs.
Last, but not least, and although not a nurse, for the resident who held my hand when I started to cry as I was administered anesthesia before my last surgery.
For all these and more, thank you.
It's lovely that you recognize these wonderful women for their small, but not small at all, contributions to love and comfort. My mom is a nurse, and I know she feels sometimes that she doesn't get enough credit for what she does.
Thank You Julie.
And thank you to the nurse who was there when I gave birth at 22 weeks and cried with me when he died an hour later. Thank you for dressing and photographing him. Thank you for telling me to hold him as long as I wanted.
What a wonderful reminder to thank those who give care in so many ways. To add my thanks (because it seems like lots of RNs are reading this) for those who have helped during the 2 1/2 years since my mom was diagnosed with cancer:
The nurse (not my mother's, a floor nurse assigned to other patients) who followed me into the pantry at the hospital to see if I was OK
The nurse just out of college who cajoled my mom to eat, drink and get out of bed after two weeks of doing none of the above - I truly think she was a big part of the turnaround that happened the day after mom was placed on hospice care (she 'failed' hospice and went off of it almost 18 months ago)
The oncology clinic nurse who fields emails and phone calls and writes prescriptions for pretty much whatever we call in
The nurse practioners who are the floor contacts at the hospital who provide the most honest answers around
Not a nurse, and even more underpaid: the aide who cleans the room, changes diapers, cleans up puke, makes my Mom laugh. Only when Helen is working the night shift do I leave my mom alone in the hospital and sleep in a real bed for an evening
I have good nurse stories and bad ones, but I gotta say a thank you to the nurse who took pictures of my baby in the NICU and taped them to my hospital bed after my c-section.
I don't think that they could forget you either.
Thank you to the wonderful nurses who took care of my father-in-law as he was dying following his bone marrow transplant. Thank you for understanding that we, his family, needed to stay in the hospital with him around the clock. That we needed to sit by his bedside in shifts around the clock. Thank you for not making us leave the ICU. And thank you to the nurses who cared enough about him to attend his funeral. It was amazing to know how much you cared about him.
(Weeping right now)
I would thank the nurse (red hair is all I remember) that came to my aid in the middle of the night.
As I lay crying with a crying infant, terribly sore of an emergency C-section, she helped me breast feed. It was like she sprinkled magic dust. He latched and practically squealed with delight and I immediately relaxed.
She took the time on what was described as the busiest night in the women's center to make sure things were going well for us.
Thank you red-headed, boob-molding nurse lady!
Thank you so much Julie.
Damn it, I'm reading this at work, and am crying right here at my desk.
Thank you to my nurse (Karen, I think) who was quick enough to get 9 more nurses and 2 doctors in my room 90 seconds, 90 SECONDS, after I started massively bleeding from between my legs, 4 hours after my emergency C-section.
She had 4 other nurses put 5 different IV lines in me, insisted to the 2 doctors to get the head of Maternal Fetal medicine in my room ASAP, had her own hand up inside me, holding my collapsing uterus in place and without a doubt, saved my life with her quick decision making.
And she did this all with a calm, composed and compassionate demeanor. She came into my room 2 days later, not even on her shift, dressed for a dinner out with her husband, just so she could check on me and my baby and see that the other nurses were treating me well.
What an angel.
De-lurking for once...great post Julie!
Thank you to the nurse who, as I tried to ignore my mortification in front of countless doctors and med students, said "Don't even think about it--we do this all the time". Thanks for making me feel a little bit less like a freak show and a little more human...
Huzzah for nurses!
Crying here as well. Thank you to Juanita who preserved my mother's dignity while she spent 2 months in a body cast. Amazingly, it was hard for us to be depressed while you were around. Thank you for promising my mother that she would learn to walk again. You were right. She did.