« Also please ask your rep to play "Freebird" | Main | Take your cone and shove it »
05/07/2007
The angels wanna wear my white shoes
It's National Nurses Week, and long past time I thanked the ones who've helped me.
Dear nurse who patiently helped me down the hall when I found it impossible to walk upright during my excellent ectopic adventure,
I am so glad you said, "You don't look like you feel very well," instead of taking one look at my unearthly pallor, scanning my neck for two fang-spaced puncture wounds, and demanding the name of the undead fiend who'd sucked out my very life's-blood so that you could notify the public health department.
I still think about how kind you were. Thanks for that.
Dear nurse who said, when she noticed on my chart that I'd had three pregnancies but only one live birth, "Ohhhh. I'm so sorry,"
Right answer. Thank you. You wouldn't believe how rarely that happens. Hmm...or maybe you would.
Dear nurse who held my hand during an in-office no-anesthetic D&C,
It was probably not intentional, the way you leaned your body against my arm as the doctor worked, but at the time it felt like that pressure and warmth were the only things that kept me from floating away. Not that I wouldn't have preferred a Valium, but I know that wasn't your fault.
Dear nurse who never, ever, ever made me feel self-conscious about continuing to cycle even as it became obvious even to me that for all the good those thousands of dollars of Follistim did me, I might as well have been mainlining weed killer,
You're an absolute pro, and exquisitely compassionate besides. I am grateful. Even after I started feeling like the punchline to a deeply unfunny joke, I never felt you thought I was one.
Dear nurse who sat quietly with me by Charlie's isolette with your arm around my shoulders that night we thought he might die,
Whoops, can't type. Eyes blurred. Teary. Still, two and a half years later. I remember you.
Dear nurse who said casually, as you drew my blood, that you'd done fertility treatments, too,
Oh, my God, didn't that suck?
And thanks for telling me. That was a gift, and I know it makes your patients feel less alone, because it made me — even cranky veteran me — feel that way.
I do earnestly hope you found your way to parenthood.
P.S. Didn't that suck?!
Comments (92)
Verify your Comment
Previewing your Comment
This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.
As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.
Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.
My grandmother, aunt and 2 sisters in law are (or were) nurses. I think I'm stealing this idea for my own blog, but thank you Julie, for reminding me of how grateful I am to the nurses who have helped me over the years. And thanks everyone else for the stories you're sharing. It makes me hopeful that there is still so much compassion in the world.
To my nurse Virginia. I could not have cared less if there was a doctor in my room to deliver my baby. My nurse Virginia was the only one that mattered. God only knows what was coming out of me as I was pushing, but you cleaned it all up before I had a chance to even worry about it!
We are starting our 4th month in the NICU with our daughter who was born at 24 weeks. She is doing amazingly well and I know that it has EVERYTHING to do with the love and care that she has experienced with every one of her nurses. I am bowled over, everyday, by the kindness and dedication of these wonderful women and men.
Thanks for making me cry and for reminding me that I need to thank them for what they do.
This is a beautiful post, and it is matched by the comments.
oh, blurry world smeared with tears. What a tender, kind post Julie. Yes, I'll never forget Scarlett: the nurse who stayed long after her shift ended and held my hand and wiped away my tears after yet another D&C after yet another sono where the heartbeat had stopped. She had compassion even after years, no doubt, of seeing a lot of pain and sadness. She treated me like I was the only one in the world who had ever suffered such a loss. It was especially kind in sharp contrast to the doc in the ER who told me "the heart has stopped, but it is not the end of the world." Not docs v. nurses, mind you — just applause for those who risk losing a little bit of themselves each time they give so unselfishly and so lovingly to perfect strangers who they'll likely never see again.
Your blog has been that way for me Julie. This weekend is my first Mother's Day as a mom. But oh, I spent many late nights reading A Little Pregnant and crying — and laughing. You have nursed a lot of us. So thanks to you, you deserve your Web RN.
This is a great site, I love all the information. I hope my site can offer as much as yours.
As a nurse myself, a long time , I hope I was able to touch someone, even once, the way the women you've came across have.
Forgot to leave my name for previous post.
what stands out for me, in this post and all the wonderful comments, is that as important as the medical expertise is, it's the love that really matters in the end.
Thank you to Michelle, the nurse that got us through our week (I know, little time compared to others) in the NICU. Who taught me how to place an NG tube down my little baby's throat and check that it is properly in his tummy. Who was so encouraging in our efforts to feed him with a bottle (cleft lip and palate and trisomy 9) even when the NICU doctor thought it was a waste of time (and tactfully agreed that the doc seemed to have a vendetta with us over it). Who was so attentive to the twins also in her care, especially the one with horrible apnea. Who was so kind to us. Who stood in stark contrast to the night nurse that didn't like to be bothered by the babies.
We gave Michelle a gift certificate to a nice restaurant when we went home. It wasn't enough!
After reading your blog for 2 /12 years, going through my own IVF, pregnancy, preeclampsia, and birth of my twins 5 months ago, THIS is what finally makes me de-lurk.
To the wonderful, marvelous, incomparable nurse (was your name Olivia?) at UCSF who cared for me the night after my C-section. Thank you for pretending to be quiet when you came in every hour to check my mag drip, thank you for wheeling me to the NICU to see my babies when I couldn't walk, thank you for complimenting me on my urine output and making me giggle, even though it hurt, thank you for talking to my husband about your favorite restaurants, and especially thank you for stopping at Tartine two days later on the way in to your next shift and buying us chocolate pudding.
Crying here too.
I have known so many wonderful nurses.
Thank you to the nurses who took such good care of my dad after his stroke and who always took the time to listen to his (let's be honest: tedious and repetitive) stories.
Thank you to all the many, many nurses who have been so kind to me throughout my IF journey.
Thank you especially to the nurse-midwife who managed my labor and who called me a few days later on her lunch hour to talk me through the fact that it was OK that I ended up having a c-section. And OK to feel sad about it, too.
As a nurse myself, I thank all you ladies for your wonderful stories. There are many times when I wonder if I am making a difference in my patients' lives, it's so nice to hear how your nurses have touched your own...
Thank you to Steffani-
You were with me through two days of pit induced labor. You demanded the anesthesiologist hurry up with the epidural, and insisted I take some Stadol and anti-nauseate while I waited. It saved my life. You promised me if I was still in labor when you came on your shift the following day you would deliver my baby. You came running into my room that next day and triumphantly declared "We’re having a baby today!" After all that, when I was being wheeled into my emergency C-section you told me it was alright, stayed right by my head so I wouldn't be scared, made sure my husband got there, and scrubbed in (Even though you're not a surgery nurse.) You were one of the first people to greet my daughter, and tell me how perfect she is. You stayed with me the whole time in recovery and took me to my post-partum room. You gave my daughter her first stern talking to because she wouldn't stay on the fetal monitor, and you made sure to tell her she was one of your favorites. You were my hero, and I will never ever forget you.
I am so grateful for the unmatched nursing care I received, both on the Antepartum Unit and in the NICU. Jerri, who worked nights. I always slept better when Jerri was on, because I trusted her. And when I was upset because I'd started to spot, she actually looked at one of my used pads (which I had to wear all of the time due to leaking fluid), and told me it was fine.
Cara, who was working when I went into labor. Even though she was busy trying to coordinate everything for my delivery, she still took time to come in and hold my hand until my husband could get to the hospital.
And Larry, who took such good care of my daughter. He was so good at arranging her, and could always get her situated so that she would drift right off to sleep. He was the nurse who moved her from isolete to crib, and he used to come by and visit even when he wasn't taking care of her. He was a big guy, probably 6'3", and it was priceless to see him fussing over my very small child.
This is a wonderful post Julie! I discovered your blog when starting my first IVF and have enjoyed every posting... both as a woman trying to have a baby (22 weeks!) and as a physician who tries to see things from the patient's/parent's point of view.
I thank all of the fantastic nurses I've been lucky to work with and learn from over the years. Your post (and so many comments) reflect the incredible care and compassion they give to patients every single day. My PICU would crash into the ground with out their wonderful skill, sense of humor and love.
My favorite nurse was the one who brought me more FOOD the day after I had my (ivf) twins. I was so freakin' hungry.
I also had a fabulous male nurse who taught me to tandem breastfeed the twins in the middle of the night!
They made up for the phlebotomist who drew my blood for some step of the whole fertility cr@p, and would not stop talking about her daughter and how children were a "gift from God." Thanks lady! I actually complained about her and her supervisor called me back and apologized, and said HE and his wife were going through infertility too.
I digress. There are some GREAT nurses!!!
This has to be one of my favorite posts of yours too.
ps Alexis I would have killed for anything from Tartine, you seriously scored. ;-)
Sniffle. I have never had a bad nurse and have had so many great ones. Thank you to the woman who, when I was a teenager recovering from surgery, comforted me in the middle of the night when I vomited blood, and when I was afraid I would suffocate to death. For a surgery a couple years ago, when I knew I'd feel cold afterwards, nurses made sure I was piled high with warm blankets. When I gave birth earlier this year, nurses held me and encouraged me when I wanted to die from the labor pains; they helped me feel proud and happy afterwards; they encouraged me to nurse my son, to be skin-to-skin with him, to sleep with him in my bed; they got me cough drops for my raw throat and answered all my anxious new-mother questions. Nurses have taken care of my most intimate needs, have given me both their knowledge and their affection, and I am deeply, deeply grateful for it. (So grateful that I keep on thinking about training to be a nurse--but I am squeamish about blood and needles, so it's probably better to cheer them on from the sidelines.)
I don't think nurses forget, either. I'm biased, though, because I had a really great example. When I was 16, I gave a speech about my grandmother for a competition (she'd died when I was 8) as an example of someone I admired (had done a lot of community work, blah blah, awesome woman). Afterwards, a woman in the audience came up to me to tell me she'd nursed my grandmother in her looong stay in the hospital (about 10 months), and how good it was to know her.
Oops, can't type, eyes blurred. Teary. 17 years later, 9 years later, still remember them both.
(the comment above was mine. sorry. eyes not work!)
Thanks for inspiring me to send a card to the nurses that have treated me for unexplained IF for three years now, including helping me through three losses. I'm now 4.5 months pregnant and you should have seen them dancing and laughing with me when they finally got to give me good news. They really care. And I wouldn't have thought to send that card telling them how much I appreciate all they've done without this post.
Great post.
Thank you Daria, for giving me a hug and telling me you were sorry about yet another miscarriage.
And thanks Dr. P for not blowing smoke up my ass, you were honest with me during the entire sucky process. And you laughed at all my vagina jokes.
Just another nurse here, thanking you for thanking your nurses. I love to think I make a difference in people's lives.
For the nurses that kept a close and loving eye over me when I stopped breathing as a newborn. When my parents talk about that day when they thought for sure that they were going to lose me, they talk about how quickly you got me into intensive care and how kind and wonderful you all were to me and the whole family who were on edge the entire time. Thank you. I'm still alive and kicking 20 years later thanks to you.
To the nurse that brought me Popsicles galore, always with a smile, when I had surgery to put tubes in my ears and have my adenoids taken out. You comforted a hurting and very scared 3 year old when nothing else, not even Mom or trusty Elmo would do. I still remember your smile.
To my angel, Juana, who talked with me and distracted me though all the needles and blood tests. Thank you for being gentle and efficient. Thank you for calming my fiance and myself down after I came to consciousness after I had what looked like a seizure. Thank you for letting me lay down for close to an hour in the most comfortable chair you had and for bringing me apple juice. Thank you for making sure that from then on I was lying down in a safe position when we did blood work and that you always insisted that you do it instead of someone else who didn't know me.
Thank you to the nurses that kept my grandparents as comfortable as possible in their last months. Thank you for helping us to call family when we were too overwhelmed to tell everyone ourselves. Thank you for hugging us and crying with us.
For the two nurses who looked after us while my 4-day old daughter was diagnosed with a duodenal stenosis. They stayed long after their shift was over to support us when she was taken down to surgery, and came and visited us in the neonatal surgery unit to check on how she was doing. It was so clearly more than just a job to them.
Your posts almost always make me laugh out loud. Tonight, I cried. Very sweet.
Just took time out from studying Biochem and remembered why I want to start nursing school this fall. This was a great post, Julie.
Thanks so much for the great post. I'd like to thank the nurse who looked at my chart that says "Gravida 4, Para 0" and simply said, "Oh, honey..."
Thank you for the tribute to nurses... we do get discouraged these days....
as a nurse for 27 years I have seen many changes..
But I love my job and I love making a difference.
and I am one of those that reads a patients history and tries to get to know the person....because that is what they are..a person.. not just a patient...
Blessings
Connie
God bless the nurse who took care of seven-week-old DD when she had meningitis but no one knew it yet, just that she was a terribly ill baby... this nurse stayed HOURS past the end of her shift, staring at the monitors at the station all by herself, totally dedicated to my seizing, blue baby girl while they arranged a transfer. DD is fine today, with no ill effects. I bless everyone who was kind to me during that time, every one of them.
And more mundanely, I will also never forget the "cool" nurses who hung out with me in my room after my two blessedly normal births... they were my buds. Buds who offered me enemas, but buds none the less, and it's cool to have buds during a happy time as well as a sad one, KWIM?
Oh, speaking of, there was the one who found out it was my birthday (two days after DD was born by c-section) and special-ordered a cake from the cafeteria and sang Happy Birthday to me. My parents were there, they'd just come in to town, and they were so impressed. So cool of her. :)
I work in hospital admin and so I've known a lot of nurses in a lot of situations... sure there are good and bad apples, but the good TOTALLY outweigh the bad, and I stand in awe of the difference they make.
Oh I love this post. Nurses are amazing. I've had some incredible ones... I mainly need to thank the pediatric nurses who didn't kill me when I was in the hospital that summer in 1987. I was in a lot of pain, and I said the most horrific things to the poor ladies who had to change my IV. And I'm told I made a male nurse cry because he had to inject dye for a CT scan a second time. The first time had not gone well, and I was a stubborn little asshole about repeating the adventure.
Hooo. Yeah. I need to go back and take them all cookies or something. The same people will be there 25 years later, right?
Happy Mothers Day. :)
Happy Mother's Day!
Thank you Adam--at Children's Hospital in San Diego. Seven years ago you cared for my sick newborn so tenderly. How in the world did you find the little veins to start his IV's? You were so kind while I was falling apart.
He's a big boy now, a smart and strong second grader. And, I'm in nursing school. Thanks for the inspiration!
Thanks, Julie - what a lovely post.
I'd like to thank the nurse who cared for me (and two others of us on the production line) while we waited for our ERPCs last November, and afterwards while we recovered. She was incredibly compassionate without being cloying. She allayed my fears about the surgery. She lobbied for me to try and get an appointment with a specialist to discuss my miscarriages (nothing doing: I need to have a third one first). She showed about twenty times more sensitivity than the hard-faced Registrar who did the surgery (and reamed open my unco-operative cervix in the process, leaving me with interesting and extensive scar tissue). I can't even remember her name, but I wanted to send her flowers when I got out of there.
You are so toughtful Julie! I have been crying non-stop through your post and those of the people commenting with their own stories.
I think your post will spur us all to take some time out to thank our nurses. They really need to know that we love and appreciate the work they do.
I just wanted to let you know, I have also done infertility treatments. And I am 35 yrs old getting ready to graduate next year from nursing school! Because I want to touch people the way your nurses did you..
So its nice to hear that it doesn't go unnoticed. I hope to always remember the stories of the ladies who have "been there done it".
Yeah, it sucked.
Tracey
isn't it amazing how these people can come into our lives for a short time but make a life time's impact?
Julie, thank you for noticing your nurses. Many times nurses become the afterthought.
This is a fantastic post. Raise the roof for nurses!
Wonderful isn't it. Restores one's faith in humanity.
I was a student nurse, but never finished university. I wasn't strong enough to cope with loosing a patient, bt in those 2 short years I accumuated so many wonderful memories...