Sunday sister smackdown

Attention infertiles!  You may worry that once you've achieved pregnancy and parenthood, your sister-in-law, having run out of material, will stop saying horrible things to you.  But allow me to put your mind at ease: I assure you that she will remain exactly the ass she has always been.  If you're lucky, she may even get worse.

Paul's sister visited this weekend.  When she got into the back of our car, wedging herself in next to Charlie, I told her she could shove his toys, which he flings to the floor in the occasional fit of seatbound ennui, over to the other side so that she'd have room for her feet.

She sighed and said, "Oh, I don't mind.  I'm just so happy to see that since you had Charlie, you're not as good a housekeeper as you used to be."

I counted to ten — okay, ten million — then said, "You know, you've said that before, and it always sounds kind of awful, that you're pleased to think I'm having trouble.  Schadenfreude."

"No, no," she insisted, "it just makes me feel better about how my own house went to pieces after I had kids.  Now I know I can attribute it to motherhood instead of any shortcomings in myself."

"Maybe you can't, though," I said.  "Maybe motherhood's not the problem.  Maybe we both just suck."

I wanted to tell her that any perceived decline in my household standards has less to do with the demands of raising a toddler than it does with the fact that I no longer care to go out of my way to impress ungrateful passive-aggressive jackasses when they pay us the honor of a visit, but I thought that might seem...hostile.

As rotten as she made me feel, I feel sure some of you can top this.  Tell me your best sister-in-law stories, please, anonymously if you prefer.

Posted by Julie at 09:12:20 PM in I've learned a lot...but I'm not sure it's worth it.

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Sunday sister smackdown

Attention infertiles!  You may worry that once you've achieved pregnancy and parenthood, your sister-in-law, having run out of material, will stop saying horrible things to you.  But allow me to put your mind at ease: I assure you that she will remain exactly the ass she has always been.  If you're lucky, she may even get worse.

Paul's sister visited this weekend.  When she got into the back of our car, wedging herself in next to Charlie, I told her she could shove his toys, which he flings to the floor in the occasional fit of seatbound ennui, over to the other side so that she'd have room for her feet.

She sighed and said, "Oh, I don't mind.  I'm just so happy to see that since you had Charlie, you're not as good a housekeeper as you used to be."

I counted to ten — okay, ten million — then said, "You know, you've said that before, and it always sounds kind of awful, that you're pleased to think I'm having trouble.  Schadenfreude."

"No, no," she insisted, "it just makes me feel better about how my own house went to pieces after I had kids.  Now I know I can attribute it to motherhood instead of any shortcomings in myself."

"Maybe you can't, though," I said.  "Maybe motherhood's not the problem.  Maybe we both just suck."

I wanted to tell her that any perceived decline in my household standards has less to do with the demands of raising a toddler than it does with the fact that I no longer care to go out of my way to impress ungrateful passive-aggressive jackasses when they pay us the honor of a visit, but I thought that might seem...hostile.

As rotten as she made me feel, I feel sure some of you can top this.  Tell me your best sister-in-law stories, please, anonymously if you prefer.