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10/17/2007
Something must be terribly wrong
I have been on Lupron for eight days now with nary an ill effect.
The relentless, pounding headache I have come to expect once my estrogen drops has not yet come a-knocking. Instead having to fight off a marauding cloud of skull-pecking dura-drilling brain-eating crows several times a day, I am attended by a brace of cheerful bluebirds who sweetly chirp Steely Dan's "Josie" into my shell-pink ear. They help me festoon my coiffure with strings of flawless pearls, or on more casual days fasten my bra hooks.
Instead of feeling spacey, forgetful, and unfocused, I remember exactly when your birthday is. Do check your mailbox for the timely arrival of the one-of-a-kind handmade card I sent...correct postage affixed.
And instead of actively trying to make strangers' heads explode with the force of my glare — No, you have a nice day, asshole — my fantasies of mayhem are confined to idly wondering whether I'd get caught if I crept out under cover of night, drove to a local restaurant, shinnied up a pole, and removed one of the Gs from its marquee sign promising "6 NEW ANGUS BURGERS."
Go on. Guess which G.
All I can figure is that the drug's not working. Either my body has found a novel new way to fuck me six ways from CD 3, or some joker at the pharmacy secretly replaced my Lupron with Folger's Crystals. I mean, how can it possibly be working? I don't feel nearly shitty enough.
Posted by Julie at 07:25 PM in Minnesota nice, Notes from astride the stirrups | Permalink
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Comments (92)
An*us burgers.
Now THAT'S funny!
Posted by: MrsHaley at Oct 17, 2007 7:40:31 PM
There's still time for the meds to get to you, right? You've effectively jinxed yourself. ;)
Actually, all joking aside, I'm curious. Are you on a lower dose of lupron this time too or just the other meds?
Posted by: Mandy at Oct 17, 2007 7:43:02 PM
Higher dose of Lupron than the last...um, 8,000 cycles, actually.
Posted by: Julie at Oct 17, 2007 7:45:29 PM
You must follow up these hijink by immediately ordering food there and complaining loudly that it tastes like " old an*us" to you.
Posted by: anne nahm at Oct 17, 2007 7:48:50 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Posted by: Julie at Oct 17, 2007 7:49:45 PM
Goodness, Julie, I don't now. I can't say I wish you felt worse. But I am modestly hopeful that there is some real difference between then and now. Your readers are here for you.
Posted by: Nina at Oct 17, 2007 7:50:55 PM
Um... you know how Ritalin is really an upper that you give to kids who are already in fast forward and it kind of levels them out? Perhaps this higher dose of Lupron gets you over the wonderbitch feeling and on to Cinderella?
Weirder things have happened...
Too much grapefruit juice before bedtime turns me in to Goofy. Could be the Disney effect. Let's get funding and collect our Nobel prize for Medicine... or peace. Whatever.
Posted by: Emilie at Oct 17, 2007 7:59:39 PM
Apparently you haven't read the news. Lupron is now being manufactured by an off-shoot of the Disney corporation. I have some bad news, though. Any day now, little cartoon robins are going to start challenging you to a sing-off.
Yeah... I know... tough to say which is better.
(Glad you and Paul aren't going to appear in the next episode of "Snapped", though.)
~C~
Posted by: Catharine at Oct 17, 2007 8:15:01 PM
Maybe the birds attending you are actually the ones that helped Lily Tomlin (accidentally?) put rat poison into Dabney Coleman's coffee in "Nine to Five."
Just a thought.
Maybe someone should tell Paul to lay off the coffee for the next week or two.
Posted by: May at Oct 17, 2007 8:25:58 PM
It's not that it's not working, it's just that it's lying in wait. Lupron likes to keep you on your toes (I believe "being on your toes" is a documented side effect) and reserve the right to fuck you up BUT GOOD at a moment's notice.
So, um, that's my way of saying "Don't worry, it's probably working, but on super secret stealth mode."
Posted by: akeeyu at Oct 17, 2007 8:30:28 PM
Maybe that means this stronger dose is working! One can hope and pray.
An*us burgers! Too funny!
Posted by: Heather at Oct 17, 2007 8:43:29 PM
The first time I used Lupron in a donor egg cycle, I never felt more feminine in my life. Given that I'm a woman who rarely wears skirts or make-up, I found myself looking for frilly dresses, wearing lipstick every day and getting my nails done regularly. In short, it was a bizarre (but very pleasant) side effect from the Lupron.
All the infertility discussion boards just buzzed with complaints about Lupron; I never had those feelings. Not to alarm you, but I was already in menopause during those last 2 cycles, so my body may have been used to the low amounts of estrogen. Maybe Lupron just didn't have a chance to make things worse, and possibly it suppressed my testerone levels (which had started to rise due to the low estrogen).
Are you getting your hormone levels checked right now? It might be worthwhile to get a full hormone work-up done now.
Just a few thoughts.
Posted by: MP in MD at Oct 17, 2007 8:48:40 PM
Please, oh please, if you do manage to remove the G would you post a picture? All of my juvenille urges to do things like that were never followed through on and it would be nice to know that someone pulled one off.
Posted by: at Oct 17, 2007 9:05:36 PM
If you get that G off, we want the photographic evidence. I knew there was a reason I liked you!
Posted by: Audrey at Oct 17, 2007 9:23:22 PM
Dang it! Now I can't get An*us burgers out of my head...
Posted by: spacemom at Oct 17, 2007 9:34:53 PM
I've been having that exact same fantasy about the sign at my local Friendly's for a while now! Hahahahahaha!
Posted by: Meg at Oct 17, 2007 9:46:44 PM
Fiendly's?
Posted by: Carol at Oct 17, 2007 10:20:43 PM
i am always going to think of your an*us burgers everytime i go to hardees now (the mushroom swiss an*us burgers are actually pretty good)
Posted by: kimblahg at Oct 17, 2007 10:47:00 PM
Hi from a lurker :) I am a gestational surrogate (finally pregnant for my friends after 3 years of trying). Lupron. Every time I've been on it, I've had a different reaction. I had a horrible 2-week lupron-headache a few times, and have gotten pregnant once. If there's a pattern, you can't go by me. I'm really rooting for you!
Posted by: jadine at Oct 17, 2007 10:51:21 PM
For what it's worth, I never felt any effects from lupron during any of my 7 egg donations. Not a thing. So it could be working and you're just lucking out of the side effects :)
Posted by: Egg Donor (ret.) at Oct 17, 2007 10:53:23 PM
Lupron made me feel very, very calm. Too calm. I kept waiting for some kind of emotional outburst, but I neither laughed nor cried, didn't get happy or depressed or scared, just existed. I watched the sun rise and set, I worked, ate, slept... It was sort of creepy. Like I had died inside.
Posted by: j at Oct 17, 2007 11:18:02 PM
Better the "...raw flame and live wire," of "Josie" than the "...drink Scotch whiskey all night long and die behind the wheel," of Deacon Blues (which always mysteriously sounded to me like an obscure suicide letter).
Hopefully this deviation from the norm is a sign of better things to come - no additional Crimson Tides after you start estrogen (Estrace? Vivelle?).
Posted by: Kymberli at Oct 17, 2007 11:25:28 PM
And speaking of odd signs, there's one at a local gas station here that reads:
COKE - 3 FOR $1
BLUNTS - 3 FOR $1
ATM INSIDE
Make of that what you wish. :)
Posted by: Kymberli at Oct 17, 2007 11:28:23 PM
Check it out, if you do start having the normal run-of-the-mill shittiness, at least you won't get endometriosis (so saith Alexis Stewart). And thanks for the "An_us Burgers" joke. My family will get a kick out of that one.
Posted by: Mags at Oct 18, 2007 12:11:53 AM
As a nurse in a fertility clinic, don't worry too much. I've seen plenty of women who, second time round (after pregnancy and birth, that is) react ENTIRELY differently to the drugs. Wait until your next blood tests and U/S before jumping to the conclusion the dosage isn't right.
Posted by: Antigonos at Oct 18, 2007 1:56:19 AM
I thought I was not experiencing any side effects on Lupron, but then one night at work a customer was flipping out and we were trying to close the security window to keep her in the waiting room, and I actually smacked her hand with a stapler to get her to let go of the sliding window. Not my normal way of dealing with clients, I can promise you. So I don't know. Otherwise, I've never had a problem except perhaps the complete lack of emotion that "J" described.
Posted by: at Oct 18, 2007 2:13:56 AM
Give it time, give it time. :)
Your next subarachnoid bleed imitator could be just around the corner.....
Of course, if you really mis the effect, feel free to have MY headaches, nose bleeds and moth-eaten higher cortical functioning come my next stim cycle.
Really, be my guest. I don't mind in the least.
J
Posted by: jodi at Oct 18, 2007 2:41:09 AM
Six Angus Burers? That's not funny.
:oP
Posted by: Madame M at Oct 18, 2007 8:09:02 AM
Damn -- I was going to say that your proposed sign change was far better than when I removed the R from "Friends" on a local business's sign under cover of darkness, but Meg beat me to the punch.
Posted by: Miss W at Oct 18, 2007 8:43:18 AM
Here's hoping you are, in fact, feeling the right amount of shitty - and, if not, that you are feeling much shittier over the next couple of days.
Posted by: Katherine at Oct 18, 2007 9:06:39 AM
Same thing happened to me during my De cycle. I used to loathe Lupron. I actually didnt even notice it and was scared. Dont worry its doing its job. Perhaps you are body is relaxing because it knows that it doesnt have to do all the work by itself. Just a thought.
Posted by: Christine at Oct 18, 2007 9:39:02 AM
If it helps--during my one and only (successful--I know, slap me) IVF cycle, Lupron did nothing to me at all. I figured that my baseline personality was so vile that it couldn't be further fouled with Lupron!
Posted by: Julia at Oct 18, 2007 9:39:46 AM
Delurking to say I had a similar experience during my third IVF, which happened to be the only cycle to produce a live baby. No hot flashes, no headache, just a little insomnia. I was sure it wouldn't work...and then...it did. Hoping you have similar results.
Posted by: rypa at Oct 18, 2007 10:02:29 AM
Maybe the lack of side effects means that your body is handling the hormonal changes better. That could be a good sign! Your body isn't rebelling against the changes happening, what with the high Lupron dose and all... Not that there's any scientific basis for my telling you not to worry... Just sit back and enjoy the moment - you're not going into super-bitch psycho mode after all!
Posted by: Sarah at Oct 18, 2007 10:25:15 AM
I also experienced hardly any effects from the Lupron in August during my frozen cycle. It still suppressed my ovaries just okey dokey. It didn't even bother me early in the cycle before the dose is dropped after getting 'the Lupron period', and usually the double whammy of increased prog. and decreased estrogen sends me whimpering to a darkened room. I think the formula may have been improved or something? On the flip side, the estrogen patches and/or the suppository tablets I was put on made me extremely nauseous, and that never happened before. I hope you don't experience that phenomena too.
Posted by: Chickenpig at Oct 18, 2007 11:11:57 AM
Is it possible that after assaulting your system with Lupron over the years, you have built up some level of tolerance? Regardless, try to enjoy these fleeting pain-free moments. A banger of a migraine could still kick in at any time.
Posted by: kristylynne at Oct 18, 2007 11:20:09 AM
No assvice (pun intended) re: the Lupron, as I have now completely forgotten those types of details from my 5+ year IF journey.
I DO, however, have a suggestion regarding your nighttime hijinks. While you're up there modifying the sign, how about just MOVING the "G" to replace the first "R" in the second word.
I think "Anus Buggers" sounds SO much more appetizing!
Posted by: Woody's Girl at Oct 18, 2007 11:37:28 AM
Just think! Now you can challenge others to a "battle of the wits". At the end you can share that you've spend the last few years building an immunity to Lupron injection.
Posted by: Kristina at Oct 18, 2007 11:40:09 AM
Here's hoping it ALL goes so freakily smoothly, painlessly, easily from now until the moment your second child is weaned, potty trained, and licensed to drive.
Posted by: victoria at Oct 18, 2007 1:00:56 PM
Well, it beats the usual three week headache. May the force be with you.
Posted by: Elizabeth at Oct 18, 2007 1:04:14 PM
Errr. I do know the feeling, but it wasn't exactly happy. I had NO discernible side effects from Lupron... but then it apparently worked so well that it put my ovaries into a deeeep and blissful sleep. Must have been one of those Dr. Kev0rkian interventions for their own good. If they are not dead, they're in a coma now; I was SO pissed. Hopefully your dose is doing its job *properly*, eh? Wait--don't listen to me, all doom and gloom and stuff. Listen to the nurse of experience, there. You are probably fine. Unless it's been infested with little nano-Disney characters. Then all bets are off.
Posted by: Marie at Oct 18, 2007 1:10:11 PM
I took a picture of a dry erase menu board last week that I was going to post on my blog and then worried that my reader wouldn't think it was funny so I deleted it from my camera. Now I 'm sorry I did. The board was advertising candy bar milk shakes and it listed the types of candy it had. Someone erased portions of the "R" in REECES so that it looked like a capitol "F". You do the math.
Posted by: TamiW at Oct 18, 2007 4:39:53 PM
wait, so dropping estrogen levels make you bitchier? Damn - that explains a LOT in our lesbian household.
grrrrr!
Posted by: shelli at Oct 18, 2007 10:05:32 PM
Once Lupron made me weepy and once it had no effect whatsoever on my mood. And both times it did its job just fine, so I recommend not worrying!
Posted by: Cynthia at Oct 19, 2007 1:47:40 AM
Anus burgers are what made me go vegetarian.
Posted by: Megan at Oct 19, 2007 1:52:06 AM
My best friend has done Lupron three different times. The last two, you would have never known she was own it. The first go around, we wanted to kill her she was so nasty.
Posted by: Kim at Oct 19, 2007 1:58:58 AM
lol i'm so jealous! i'm on week 5 of lupron (doing 3 months of shots for endo post-lap) and i couldn't be crankier :-) i'm walking into EVERYTHING and my bones hurt - who knew that BONES (not muscles, not skin, the freaking bone!) could hurt!
and you definitely would have to photograph the missing G!!!!
Posted by: shari at Oct 19, 2007 9:45:21 AM
I was just thinking, hey, I haven't had any side effects from the Lupron this time either! But then I remembered that I keep waking up sweating at night... and I've been totally irritated with my husband all week... and I've kind of got a headache right now. Crap.
Oh, I was also indignant to read over on your Redbook journal that you had your baseline already! I started my Lupron the day before you did and my baseline isn't until Monday. Harrumph. (Me, grumpy? I blame the f*cking Lupron! Thankfully, I can get away with that.)
Posted by: Jessica at Oct 19, 2007 9:27:23 PM
Well since its folgers anyway, maybe you should enjoy it with some cream and sugar rather then stick it in a needle. Might as well get a little pick me up from it.
Posted by: Kathy at Oct 19, 2007 11:36:31 PM
I've had two cycles that both worked and I never felt a thing on Lupron.
But I also believe I narrowly escaped becoming a homicidal maniac instead of a calm, loving, productive citizen. Coulda gone either way.
Posted by: Marcy at Oct 20, 2007 7:52:17 PM
