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11/26/2007
Something
Most people see a positive home pregnancy test and are immediately able to announce with confidence, "We're having a baby." (Damned if they're not usually right.) An infertile person, especially one with any kind of loss under her belt, looks at that second pink line and thinks, Well. Huh. We seem to be having a...something.
It's not even binary: baby or none. It's so much more complicated. At this point the range of outcomes feels infinitely broad, from the frustrating to the heartbreaking to the ridiculously sublime, any of which stay with us for quite some time to come.
I don't know what my three positive tests thus far — 10, 11, and 12 days past ovulation — will ultimately mean. I don't assume they necessarily mean a baby. But curiously, given my history, neither do I particularly fear they won't.
From here, anything could happen. For now, we are having a something, and absent any indications to the contrary, I am willing — excited! — to believe it might be something really great.
Posted by Julie at 08:04 PM in Jesus gay, I'm pregnant. | Permalink
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Comments (399)
Oh my god....this is incredible. I'm wishing you everything good.
Posted by: kathleen999 at Nov 26, 2007 8:08:18 PM
Holy shit... I'm the first comment on a most momentous occasion. If I'm lucky, someone else will chime in while I'm typing this. If not, I'll just echo Charlie's sentiment - Stick, egg. If you're going to be excited, I'm going to follow your lead because you're Julie, and that's just the way things should be.
Posted by: Amanda at Nov 26, 2007 8:08:58 PM
I am so incredibly hopeful for you.
Posted by: Maren at Nov 26, 2007 8:10:04 PM
Holy guacamole, Batman -- may this be the beginning of a most wonderful time in your life, replete with (relative) normalcy!
Posted by: Teri at Nov 26, 2007 8:12:05 PM
WOW and WOW WOWO and holy shit wow.
I will be checking this blog, like every 15 minutes for the next forever days....
COngrats on your, umm, pink line.. I dunno! I am excited for you!!!!
Posted by: Michelle at Nov 26, 2007 8:12:11 PM
Brilliant, and not in a sarcastic Guiness commercial kinda way!
And happy birthday to Batman, too. :^D
Posted by: Sarah at Nov 26, 2007 8:13:22 PM
Holy crap. Congratulations!
Posted by: Gina at Nov 26, 2007 8:13:58 PM
Here's to good outcomes!
Posted by: Olya at Nov 26, 2007 8:14:57 PM
Wait. Wait. Seriously! Words... go here...
*break for guitar solo*
Oh and I am going to kick your ass if I just misread this post and you were speaking hypothetically.
In the meantime... dunanananannaaaa Been a long time since I rock and rolllllll
Posted by: electric boogaloo at Nov 26, 2007 8:17:11 PM
Congrats!!!! Is it too early for a heart felt congrats? I'm right there with you, except I was too afraid to even pee on a stick. I go back tomorrow to see if my numbers have doubled. Best of luck to you!, and may we both have something to really woop about come August :)
Posted by: Chickenpig at Nov 26, 2007 8:18:36 PM
Something really great indeed. I'm rooting for the very best.
Posted by: snickollet at Nov 26, 2007 8:19:36 PM
holy crap... i hope that second line means what it should mean. best of luck!
Posted by: kristin at Nov 26, 2007 8:21:40 PM
Delurking to say OMFG and I am crazy excited for you. Awesome.
Posted by: Amy at Nov 26, 2007 8:21:48 PM
Yahoooo!!!! I'm so excited for you and really hoping this sticks. I've been checking all day long to see if you had done the pee test yet!
Posted by: Mary at Nov 26, 2007 8:22:12 PM
A something? Oh, Julie. A something is SOOO much better than a nothing. If you have a something today, and you can have one tomorrow and then the next day... well, string enough days of something together in a row, and you have a... well, that would be a baby then, wouldn't it.
So hooray for today and something. Now, let's hope for something tomorrow, too. We'll deal with day after when the time comes!!!
(Do you have any idea how painful typing with one's fingers crossed is? I have a touch of arthritis, too. Like... ow.... )
~C~
Posted by: Catharine at Nov 26, 2007 8:24:32 PM
A necessary (albeit insufficient) condition is still a positive sign!
Posted by: elizabeth at Nov 26, 2007 8:24:55 PM
I am cautiously excited for you. I am hoping for the best and believe your something will quickly turn into a baby. I will certainly keep thinking about you and checking back to give you a very excited and boisterous Congratulations.
Posted by: dawn at Nov 26, 2007 8:26:26 PM
I wish all the best for you.
Posted by: at Nov 26, 2007 8:26:48 PM
Awesome! Here's hoping it's a something that stays in there for about 9 months before making a kicking and screaming exit :)
Posted by: Miss W at Nov 26, 2007 8:28:37 PM
I hope that your something becomes a SOMETHING! Best of luck!
Posted by: Laura at Nov 26, 2007 8:29:17 PM
a something...I love that there is something...thank you for sharing...you're in my prayers tonight!!!
Posted by: june at Nov 26, 2007 8:29:45 PM
Congratulations on your something! I very much hope it becomes a baby.
Posted by: Liz at Nov 26, 2007 8:35:34 PM
Maybe not totally conclusive, but definitely the best possible news at this time! Congratulations, Julie! I will cross my fingers for continued good fortune...
Posted by: Lisa at Nov 26, 2007 8:38:12 PM
Hey! Beats the hell out of Thanksgiving '04, doesn't it? Don't mind me if I begin asking you how your blood pressure is, and if you've checked your urine for excreted protein, and if you are sensing the faintest epigastric pain.
Good news! Congrats to you and Paul and the nascent big brother.
Posted by: Orange at Nov 26, 2007 8:39:04 PM
I'm willing it to become a something great for you! I believe it will. I had a feeling that this try would work for you!
Posted by: Jen at Nov 26, 2007 8:44:57 PM
I just got the chills reading this, and reading all of the responses. This is very good news and I am so excited for you. Here's to more positive news over the next few weeks!!
Posted by: Catherine at Nov 26, 2007 8:45:04 PM
Wahoo! That's so great! Praying that all goes well.
Posted by: Mad at Nov 26, 2007 8:46:36 PM
I won't congratulate you just yet.. but I will send very happy thoughts your way. May this sign be the first of a very ( positive ) pregnancy!
Posted by: Cera at Nov 26, 2007 8:47:30 PM
I hope it's really great :)
Posted by: Dawn at Nov 26, 2007 8:47:49 PM
Oh, that's great news! NBHHY and I hope you just keep getting better and better news.
Posted by: Lynnette at Nov 26, 2007 8:49:16 PM
Wishing you every happiness with your something!
Posted by: chris at Nov 26, 2007 8:50:55 PM
Very promising.
Posted by: Lisa V at Nov 26, 2007 8:51:35 PM
Julie, I'm hoping it's something really great too. I can't wait to hear more...
Posted by: Jackie at Nov 26, 2007 8:53:54 PM
I'm so hoping this "something" is a healthy baby. Glad you have something to hope about.
Posted by: Amanda at Nov 26, 2007 8:55:58 PM
Hope it's not to soon to say the following with great hope that it sticks:
Whooo hooo!!!!!!!!!!!!! Way to go!!!!!
Posted by: AdirondackJen at Nov 26, 2007 8:56:50 PM
SWEET!
Posted by: Danielle at Nov 26, 2007 8:57:03 PM
Wow! Willing and excited right along with you. Many many good wishes. The most fervent of which is that you should have the most boring pregnancy ever. In a good way, of course.
Posted by: JuliaKB at Nov 26, 2007 8:57:15 PM
Excellent!
I am hoping that the combination of new eggs and knowledge about your clotting issues will produce a much smoother ride this time than you had with Charlie, but an equally wonderful baby, of course.
Posted by: Alex at Nov 26, 2007 8:59:46 PM
Happy Birthday to Charlie, and congrats on the pink line. Dang, if I thought I was checking in obsessively pre-transfer, I'm REALLY in trouble now!
Posted by: Bryn at Nov 26, 2007 9:01:24 PM
delurking for an eeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
hooray for a something!
Posted by: Laura at Nov 26, 2007 9:03:12 PM
A something! Yay! I LOVE somethings. They are the best of all of the "things".
Posted by: Compa at Nov 26, 2007 9:03:13 PM
HOOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think this one is going to be a keeper!!!
Even after 8 m/c myself, I'm naive that way!!
Posted by: Anita at Nov 26, 2007 9:05:09 PM
EVERYTHING crossed -- eyes, legs, fingers, etc. Will check back obsessively for more good news.
Posted by: Cathleen at Nov 26, 2007 9:07:47 PM
Oh! I am so excited for you!
Posted by: treeling at Nov 26, 2007 9:08:01 PM
YES! Woo hoo!
Posted by: mudnyc at Nov 26, 2007 9:11:24 PM
Fantastic!
While we both know that a BFP doesn't always mean a baby, it is a necessary first condition. So.. Congrats on getting this far! I can't wait to congratulate you on the next milestones!
Posted by: decemberbaby at Nov 26, 2007 9:13:12 PM
are you friggin kidding me? how can you be so calm? yikes, I am jumping outta of my skin.
oh how i wish it was me!! but am still thrilled for you!!
Posted by: Amber at Nov 26, 2007 9:20:00 PM
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhh!
*gasp*
Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
Can't talk - doing stupid jig around room for you. Most of the jig is from happiness, with like 10% from banging the living shit out of my knee whilst jumping up to dance for happiness for you.
Yeah. That's going to leave a mark.
Also? Ahhhhhhh! So excited for you! Yay!
Posted by: anne nahm at Nov 26, 2007 9:20:18 PM
wow. i've been holding my breath for you! but i certainly understand the... something! we've just finished our 3rd cycle just a bit ahead of yours and finally got a positive test and even made it to a heartbeat on a scan. but i do find it hard to transition into that something wonderful. hoping for us all that this really is it!! ::: and since i hardly ever comment, i'll take this chance to say how much i appreciate you sharing this journey with us all; it's really been a wonderful place of understanding, insight and yes, even encouragement.
Posted by: becky k at Nov 26, 2007 9:20:34 PM
So. Damn. Great.
Woot!
You can probably see my grin from there, it's so wide.
Posted by: cori at Nov 26, 2007 9:20:58 PM
