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11/26/2007
Something
Most people see a positive home pregnancy test and are immediately able to announce with confidence, "We're having a baby." (Damned if they're not usually right.) An infertile person, especially one with any kind of loss under her belt, looks at that second pink line and thinks, Well. Huh. We seem to be having a...something.
It's not even binary: baby or none. It's so much more complicated. At this point the range of outcomes feels infinitely broad, from the frustrating to the heartbreaking to the ridiculously sublime, any of which stay with us for quite some time to come.
I don't know what my three positive tests thus far — 10, 11, and 12 days past ovulation — will ultimately mean. I don't assume they necessarily mean a baby. But curiously, given my history, neither do I particularly fear they won't.
From here, anything could happen. For now, we are having a something, and absent any indications to the contrary, I am willing — excited! — to believe it might be something really great.
Posted by Julie at 08:04 PM in Jesus gay, I'm pregnant. | Permalink
Comments (399)
Oh, Julie...
All good thoughts, prayers and whatevers to you and your family.
AND- a most happy third birthday to Charlie!!
Best-
Deb
Posted by: Deb at Nov 26, 2007 9:21:16 PM
Crossing my fingers and hoping 'a line is a line' in this case.
Posted by: Penny at Nov 26, 2007 9:27:51 PM
Yay! NBHHY.
Posted by: Jenn at Nov 26, 2007 9:30:09 PM
horray!
Posted by: MamaChristy at Nov 26, 2007 9:33:43 PM
I will return the favor:
Wellllllllllllllity wellllllllll welll welll well well well.
I am on the edge of my seat.
(And congratulations! Fellow **** buddy?!?! really?!!!! that would be so. cool.)
Posted by: Karen/Naked/Cheek at Nov 26, 2007 9:34:58 PM
That is just awesome. Congratulations.
Posted by: Elle at Nov 26, 2007 9:35:22 PM
Eeeeee! Good luck! I'm crossing my fingers, toes, and eyes for you (which is making typing very difficult).
Posted by: Meg at Nov 26, 2007 9:36:53 PM
Jesus Gay you're pregnant! Hooray times a million! Regardless of how this ends up - though obviously we hope for the best - congratulations are in order because any way you shake it, this is a reason to be hopeful and happy. :D
Posted by: marlespo at Nov 26, 2007 9:37:05 PM
Oh, how I very much hope it's something great.
Posted by: Jen at Nov 26, 2007 9:37:14 PM
yay!!! I remember finding your blog before you had Charlie and am glad that I can say I've been around here that long..but barely comment as your post almost always leave me speechless. Just celebrated our middle childs 3rd birthday as well. Cant believe it's been 3 years. seems just like yesterday when I was coming here a zillion times a day just to see what was going on...now here I am again doing the same! sending up some prayers for you and your family!
Posted by: amy at Nov 26, 2007 9:39:01 PM
WOW, Julie! Oh my god!
fingers crossed for you from the day you started this cycle to the day your baby grows up and healthy!
Posted by: Suki at Nov 26, 2007 9:40:52 PM
Congrats on the lines!
Bea
Posted by: Bea at Nov 26, 2007 9:43:16 PM
Long time lurker here - crossing all my appendages for you!
Posted by: Mandas at Nov 26, 2007 9:45:10 PM
Another lurker de-lurking to say: wonderful.
Posted by: Sara at Nov 26, 2007 9:47:55 PM
I've been wondering if you've been getting into your second bathroom stash yet!
Posted by: Scissorbill at Nov 26, 2007 9:50:06 PM
Congratulations!!!!!!
Posted by: Jen in Jakarta at Nov 26, 2007 9:50:56 PM
I'm sending my very best wishes your way.
Posted by: Kelly at Nov 26, 2007 9:53:09 PM
Oh. Oh. Oh.
Posted by: BrooklynGirl at Nov 26, 2007 9:55:31 PM
OMG!OMG!OMG!
Thank you for sharing this early news!
Posted by: Christy at Nov 26, 2007 9:57:59 PM
Wheee! NBHHY!
Posted by: cat, galloping at Nov 26, 2007 9:59:31 PM
OMG! I've been reading your blog for years, but never comment because I don't know what to say. But now I want to say OMG CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Jenn at Nov 26, 2007 10:02:22 PM
NBHHY
Posted by: Menita at Nov 26, 2007 10:04:36 PM
THIS FREAKIN ROCKS!!!!!
Posted by: Amanda at Nov 26, 2007 10:04:53 PM
Squeeeeeeeeeeeee! :) I'm a lurker, and have been checking in on you and hoping. I understand cautious optimism, and am rooting for you!
Posted by: jadine at Nov 26, 2007 10:07:11 PM
Congratulations! Fingers crossed for you!!
Posted by: Leah at Nov 26, 2007 10:07:26 PM
Sooo....I guess you found God, then?
Here's hopin' for you guys. No way to interpret this but as most excellent news.
Posted by: Carolyn at Nov 26, 2007 10:13:57 PM
Oh, oh, oh! Stick, egg, stick. I am tapping my feet under the table for you...
Posted by: trope at Nov 26, 2007 10:16:50 PM
Wow, I'm so excited for you!
Posted by: Cindy at Nov 26, 2007 10:17:25 PM
Something wicked COOL this way comes! Stick [around], egg!
And a very happy 3rd birthday to Master Charlie...when the heck did *that* happen??
Posted by: DebbieS at Nov 26, 2007 10:17:49 PM
Yay!!!
Posted by: Jessica at Nov 26, 2007 10:24:03 PM
wow - you're having...a something! best wishes from here on in....
Posted by: naomi at Nov 26, 2007 10:26:11 PM
Does that mean you'll call this one Gatsby? Or are you going to stick with the Batman theme and go with Robin?
Inquiring minds want to know!!!
Very excited for you. :)
Posted by: Mandy at Nov 26, 2007 10:27:03 PM
coming out or lurking to say congrats on your something!!! :D Ace to read such great news :)
Posted by: Leah at Nov 26, 2007 10:28:16 PM
yay
NBHHY
Posted by: nycphoenix at Nov 26, 2007 10:29:03 PM
SQUEEEEEEEEEEE!
Posted by: Allison at Nov 26, 2007 10:32:45 PM
Wow, that's so great. Here's to those sticky eggs.
Posted by: Karen at Nov 26, 2007 10:32:56 PM
WOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
I, too, hope this is a really great something.
Posted by: Angela at Nov 26, 2007 10:37:16 PM
Well, I'll be darned. This makes me very happy and weepy.
NBHHY. That's all I'm saying....
Posted by: Sheridan at Nov 26, 2007 10:38:47 PM
I am so excited for your something!!!!
Here's to a sticky something!!
Posted by: Melody at Nov 26, 2007 10:41:04 PM
Keeping fingers and toes crossed that this something is THE something you've been waiting for. So exciting!
Posted by: pgoodness at Nov 26, 2007 10:45:10 PM
Squee! And yes, I know what you mean about a something, but it's a nice start, isn't it?
Posted by: akeeyu at Nov 26, 2007 10:54:01 PM
Horray! So happy for you.
Posted by: Nina at Nov 26, 2007 10:55:32 PM
HO. LEE. FUCK.
Really? Really???
(doing little dance)
Julie got knocked up, Julie got knocked up....
Posted by: daysgoby at Nov 26, 2007 10:55:36 PM
Have I been checking your blog twice a day... ummm, maybe...
May you get a little (more) pregnant for every day until you become very definitely pregnant to then holy-crap-this-3rd-trimester-crap-sucks pregnant.
Bewdy
Posted by: jen at Nov 26, 2007 10:58:24 PM
Delurking to say congrats! I'm crossing all my bits that your "something" becomes another Batman or even a little Batgirl!
Posted by: Elizabeth Ann at Nov 26, 2007 11:04:28 PM
Oh. Heck. Yes. Beta tomorrow (or is it Wednesday? Can't think...too happy for you to think clearly). :)
Posted by: Kymberli at Nov 26, 2007 11:07:48 PM
Well, damn it, that IS something. And something you haven't done for a while. So, then. Cool.
Onward to a new adventure!
Posted by: Mete at Nov 26, 2007 11:16:53 PM
JULIE JULIE JULIE!!
Posted by: persephone at Nov 26, 2007 11:17:12 PM
Congratulations!!!!!
I hope everything goes beautifully for you!
Posted by: Veronica at Nov 26, 2007 11:19:04 PM
I'm doing that thing where you cross your first finger and your middle finger for good luck, AND your ring finger and pinky finger too, for double good luck - on BOTH hands.
Posted by: Marla at Nov 26, 2007 11:19:26 PM
