« Here's your hat | Main | Winter, wiener, wonder »
02/14/2008
Straight in at 37
Today is my birthday. I am 37 years old. I am chagrined to say so only because 36 sounded so much riper, so much more juicy-prime-of-womanhood than 37 does. But putting aesthetics aside, this is the first birthday I've faced since the start of my blog that I'm not longing for something that felt unattainable, and that seems well worth celebrating.
Please help me welcome 37 by telling me at least one of the following things:
- What was the best or worst birthday gift you've ever received? (My worst was a shovel, given by my boyfriend the year I turned 20. Swear to God. I should have brained the bastard with it and then left his remains in an unmarked grave. In fact...maybe...I...did.)
- How do I get Charlie to stop talking with quite so much gusto about the "little tiny hole a doctor cut in your belly with a very sharp knife when I was born"? It is certainly too late to change my story — when he asked me whether he grew inside me, and then followed up with questions about how he got out, I answered with perfect simplicity and candor, but at this point I'm sort of sorry I didn't tell him he sauntered through the door instead of climbing out the window like a thief in the goddamned night. I honestly think I would rather hear him twitter about my wondrous, wondrous vagina in front of horrified strangers than treat them to his bloodthirsty version of the birds and the bees. You know, the hook-beaked birds of prey and the Africanized honeybees.
- What don't I get about Facebook? So far I have pusillanimously avoided playing Scrabble with a self-professed crossword fiend; swapped unpardonable limericks about a horrifying medical condition with a high-school friend; and repeatedly called Tertia an asshole in front of her friends, co-workers, and perhaps — who knows? — even her mother. All very nice, but I am not precisely sure how it is supposed to transform my life. Is there something I'm missing? Because I can call Tertia names anywhere. That's why I invented the Internet.
Something else worth celebrating: I've hit the 15-week mark. Why, I'm halfway to beating my previous record for ongoing gestation! Go, Team Belly-Slashing Vulturebees!
Posted by Julie at 09:46 PM | Permalink
TrackBack
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d834518e0569e200e5504ad2ba8833
Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Straight in at 37:
Comments (183)
Happy Birthday!!!
Posted by: joey at Feb 14, 2008 9:50:50 PM
Happy Birthday!
Worst gift? A Cooking Without Fat cookbook from my bitchy relative who likes to make unflattering remarks about my weight.
Joke is on her, I can lose weight, but she will always be a bitch.
Posted by: Lisa V at Feb 14, 2008 9:52:28 PM
Happy Birthday! Mine was the twelfth and marked the last year of 30-somethings.
So, um - what did your party hat look like? ;)
Posted by: DeirdreMarie at Feb 14, 2008 9:53:49 PM
Happy birthday!
My best birthday present? Hands down, tickets to the Westminster dog show (I have an unhealthy love for dog shows).
Posted by: Brigitte at Feb 14, 2008 9:55:34 PM
I can't help you with #1 or #2. But I can say that I, at 31, also do not understand the allure of Facebook. My SIL, who is 26, let me log in using her account and she has a zillion friends, etc. But ... there is no content, which is a big, fat, zero BORING for me.
Hmm. I guess I couldn't help you with any of the above, then.
Happy Birthday! And Happy 15w! Here's to AT LEAST another 15 weeks of safely gestating.
Posted by: moo at Feb 14, 2008 9:55:54 PM
Happy Birthday from a longtime lurker.
I can't think of any spectacular birthday gifts one way or the other. This year I bought myself some very expensive yarn, and I love it.
As for Charlie, you're going to have to ride that one out. Just try not to react when he talks about it, and I think it is okay to gently tell him that this is one of those subjects we talk about in private. He may not understand that fully now, but it's a good opportunity to practice the concept.
I don't get Facebook either.
Congratulations of 15 weeks! I am so happy for you that things seem to be working so far. I'm keeping all my bits crossed that they keep going well.
Posted by: Shelly Kang at Feb 14, 2008 9:57:25 PM
Worst: Orthopedic house slippers. I was a college senior at the time.
Best: Bottle of vodka, when I was a freshman in college.
Posted by: Sarah T. at Feb 14, 2008 10:08:24 PM
I'm a professor and I study social networks for a living. You're not missing anything, really. It's kind of like blogging-lite (post photos, stories, etc) and share with friends. The undergrads love it. It's really the talking-on-the-phone-for-hours thing we did when we were 12 (or at least *I* did), but more visual.
Best birthday gift: LASIK. It's been 7 years and I still think every day about how great it is that I can see perfectly and don't have to wear contacts. Worst present: a model of the human eye that my brother gave me when I was 11. He thought I'd like it because I liked science, which was good reasoning, but I was so stunned by the dorkiness of it that I fell speechless for the first time in my life.
Posted by: Egg Donor (ret.) at Feb 14, 2008 10:10:06 PM
Happy Birthday!!
Worst gift? Absolutely nothing for my 18th birthday. Thanks everyone.
I don't get Facebook either. Obviously I am missing something too.
Posted by: Veronica at Feb 14, 2008 10:13:01 PM
I try to forget bad birthday gifts and no really spectacular ones spring to mind right now. Can't help you w/ Charlie's gleeful account of his arrival, but not sure I'd want to anyway. The kid's a pip. As for Facebook, I think what you don't get about it is that you are not, nor have you recently been, a college student. There are some things that are best left to the younger generation.
Posted by: Andi at Feb 14, 2008 10:15:57 PM
*de-lurks*
1.A Billy Ray Cyrus button, little rings that were also stamps (with pink ink), and a hippo squirt gun. That was one person's gift.
2. My mom has no wisdom on this one, I never did anything like that. But I was a bit older when I got all that explained, so maybe that's why.
3. Facebook was originally started as a networking thing for college students. I don't think people who are not in that category truly understand it. Hell, I'm 23, still in gradschool, and I don't get the obsession it, esp. for all the annoying myriad of applications. Though there is a bit of thrill to being friended by people you were in 3-7 years of grade school with that you never even talked to.
*cloaking reactivated*
Posted by: Rachel Kay at Feb 14, 2008 10:16:51 PM
P.S. Happy birthday!
Posted by: Andi at Feb 14, 2008 10:17:00 PM
Best birthday present ever, my first ever trip to Hawaii. It changed everything about me, and what I wanted for the rest of my life. Thanks Hubs.
Facebook and their fraternizing ilk give me seizures.
Many happy returns on your birthday! Preferably when you can enjoy the gluttonous desserts and severely alcoholic beverages to accompany!!
Posted by: Kymba at Feb 14, 2008 10:21:01 PM
1. Best gift: A perwinkle blue Schwinn ten-speed for my 15th.
Worst gift: Mononucleosis. (My 23rd)
2. You can only get Charlie to stop talking about the tiny hole he came of by giving him another, better story -- preferably one that's even more embarrassing for you. (Mine's nearly 20 -- I've time-tested this technique -- works like a charm.)
3. Facebook is for dweebs. MySpace is for nerds. (Please note I have both a Facebook and a MySpace account -- make of that what you will). There's nothing you're not getting. It is what it is. Have you met Twitter yet? Twitter is for obsessive compulsives with bipolar tendencies. (Yep, I'm signed up there, too.)
Happy Birthday, Julie. I can only wish that 37 brings you many things, the vast majority of them fabulous and wonderful.
Ooo... I just got a MySpace message. Gotta run!
~C~
Posted by: Catharine at Feb 14, 2008 10:26:17 PM
The best birthday gift? i got this year, unlike you, fertility is not my problem and after 10 years of marriage we have 5 children. Well this year for the birthday my family pitched in ans between 3 homes took the 4 oldest (the youngest still squiggles from the inside for another 18 weeks)and Mike and I had a weekend alone- in another city. Very nice.
I read your blog because you are funny and I love understanding from the inside what the other side of the fertility coin is. Sometimes it helps me bear my gifts :)
Posted by: at Feb 14, 2008 10:29:19 PM
I've been lurking forever and am finally unable to restrain myself from commenting. Facebook is evil. If you don't believe it, research their Beacon scandal, then look for their policy on pictures of breastfeeding women (and compare to their policy on pictures of half-dressed undergrads), then read the NYTimes article on how they keep and store your information FOREVER. It's really scary.
Best birthday gift ever? This is going to sound crazy, but an all-in-one laser line-level and stud finder. I wrote a whole post about it on my blog (which I can't figure out how to link here - sorry!).
Posted by: New Duck at Feb 14, 2008 10:36:17 PM
1. The year my son was born, my husband (who has never before or since surprised me with a gift) managed to purchase jewelry I'd admired for Mother's Day, my birthday, and Christmas. A hat trick of fantastic gifts.
2. I can't wait till my son can talk enough to tell people about mommy's uterus falling out after he came out of her vagina.
3. I have spent most of today (when I was not dying of influenza) trying to convince 3rd party applications on Facebook to stop sending me emails. It is futile. I fucking hate Facebook, even more than I hate MySpace and that is really a lot of hate for someone under 5'6.
Posted by: Annika at Feb 14, 2008 10:37:22 PM
Happy Birthday, and Happy Valentine's Day :)
Yay for the pregnancy :D
Posted by: Suki at Feb 14, 2008 10:39:43 PM
(New Duck, one of my best presents came from a different man several years after the hated shovel: a compound miter saw. Reader, I married him. So I definitely get you on the laser level.)
Posted by: Julie at Feb 14, 2008 10:39:56 PM
Hmm, interesting variety of questions you've got today!
1. Best present-my car that I picked out a 9 days before my 38th birthday.(a blue beetle-love my car). Worst-apparently it was so bad I've blocked it out. My ex's mother was a champion of giving poor gifts.
2. I will say I was extremely lucky in that neither boy obsessed of my need to have them cut out of me. They are more fascinated with the fact that I've had many wrist surgeries, some recently enough that they can remember. I'm no help
3. Facebook seems to run counter to what we teach our kids. First and last name? Ugh. I'm a few years older than you, so I can claim the over 40 fuddy duddy prize.
Hope your day was happy and free from hats that go anywhere other than the head!
Posted by: Suzanne at Feb 14, 2008 10:46:01 PM
Happy Birthday! Way to turn a prime number!
Worst present ever: absolutely nothing when I played passive aggressive and my boyfriend didn't get it.
Also, Facebook! Much like Myspace, I loved how shiny and interesting Facebook seemed at first. Now, I'm bored. You are not alone.
I didn't know you invented the internet. I thought Al Gore did.
Congrats for your 15-week mark as well.
Posted by: clarabella at Feb 14, 2008 11:08:20 PM
Happy Birthday! Oddly, it is also my sister's birthday and she is also named Julie!
Best Gift: Engagement Ring. Worst Gift: fake stained glass window decals.
Also, 37 is young; really it is. I had my first (and only) baby at 40 - it only gets better from here.
As for the child q - tell you what, I'll tell you that, if you can tell me how to get my TWO YEAR OLD to sleep through the night.
Posted by: nancy at Feb 14, 2008 11:10:33 PM
Happy birthday!
1- Worst birthday gift? Well, it doesn't count as a gift, exactly, but on my last birthday, I was introduced to three people who would make my life hell for months to come. Best? Sentimentally, it's a doll I got when I was eight. The doll itself wasn't so fantastic, but I wanted that doll so bad and hadn't gotten it at Christmas. I wish I still had the doll, but alas...you don't realize at 15 you might want something back years later.
2- ...I don't know how to get three year olds to shush about a chosen topic, and I'm a pediatric nurse. Sadly, the easiest way is usually to get them interested in something you want them to talk about even less.
3- I don't get Facebook either.
Posted by: Audrey at Feb 14, 2008 11:23:09 PM
Fifteen weeks along? And you haven't been hospitalized yet? C'mon, you're not trying! I'd been admitted twice by this point in my pregnancy.
Facebook is perfect for playing Scrabulous with crossword fiends. Don't be such a wuss! C'mon! I've been playing with two friends, both crossword constructors. One of 'em, I edge out by maybe 30 points. The other? Tans my hide to the tune of 100 points, easy. This is why I need to play with you. Because I think we'd be well-matched and I hope that you wouldn't flay me so mercilessly. (You may flay me gently. I have never memorized the Scrabble dictionary, so I'm not scary. Honest.) I also like the Wall and the way Facebook lets one concoct one's very own in-jokes that maybe nobody will understand.
Posted by: Orange at Feb 14, 2008 11:35:24 PM
1. Worst birthday presents - my mom usually sucks at giving presents. When I turned 27 she got me a toaster oven, because she decided that mine needed to be replaced, and then told me it cost $2 at Bed Bath and Beyond. When I turned 25 she had taken me shopping two months before my birthday, and had fixed a zipper on a dress I had found on clearance. And spent the entire evening of my birthday going on and on about herself and an upcoming party for her.
Best birthday presents - When I turned 26, after much prodding I got money for a new computer from my parents and grandparents. Best unprompted birthday present - when I turned 25 my friend got a me a bracelet with blue crystal flowers, because she realized no one ever bought me bling. Bonus - it matched the dress with the fixed zipper from my parents.
2. Give him hugs!
3. I <3 Facebook and am totally addicted... Although I am totally over Scrabulous.
Posted by: Diana at Feb 14, 2008 11:58:21 PM
Worst present. My parents gave me a tire gauge for my 16th birthday. Not a car. Just a tire gauge. For a tire. That I did not have. And the best part...that was all I got.
Posted by: Babybound at Feb 14, 2008 11:58:21 PM
Happy Birthday! 37 was wonderful...enjoy it...it passes very quickly then you turn around and you're 40. hehe!
For my 18th I got the flu.
They had to get better after that - and did!
Posted by: Michelle at Feb 15, 2008 12:07:28 AM
I don't get facebook either. Don't feel bad.
As for worst birthday present, When I was 13, my father, who had raised me secular humanist quaker (in other words, pretty much athiest) gave me 2 bibles. One King James and one in regular english.
Posted by: techie at Feb 15, 2008 12:14:38 AM
1. Purple sweatshirt with a panda appliqued on the front. I was fifteen. Woot.
2. No freaking clue. But having your kindergartener goes to school and tell his whole class and both teachers "the baby *finally* came out Mom's vagina and it's about damn time!" is no picnic either, lemme tell ya.
3. I don't get facebook either.
Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! (all CAPS, how'dya like me now?!?)
Posted by: bre at Feb 15, 2008 12:15:54 AM
1 - Post-graduate school victory tour of Vancouver Island. It was the first trip we took in several years, as school and work kept my feet firmly nailed to the floor.
Worst gift: I was six years old and my dad sent a coworker to get me a book on flowers for my birthday. The coworker came back with a technical botanical book with taxonomic keys in it rather than the lighter weight book my dad had in mind. I remember thinking that the book was ok, I supposed, but had a regrettable dearth of color pictures.
Amusingly, I *am* a botanist now (that was part of grad school), and the book turned out to be quite handy - 25 years later.
2 - I'm no help; my son was lifted through the skylight rather than exiting via the front door too.
3 - Ditto on the Facebook thing. But I'm 36 so maybe that's part of it.
And you have my hopes for a nice routine
Posted by: Anita at Feb 15, 2008 1:18:52 AM
Worst gift? The time that my husband bought me my wishlist and told me before my burthday (not to bad he)
best gift my grandma who is an artist drew my chidlren in pencil and had them gorgeously framed for my last birthday. Very special..
My daughter was obsessed with how dirty she was when born.. And she now asked random strangers if their newborn is allready cleaned!
3 Don't do facebook but I have Hyves the dutch variety and this week I found my slef catching up with a dear highschoolfriend and my two college roommates. That is the fun...
Posted by: mijkimproves at Feb 15, 2008 2:21:54 AM
Best gift: My husband took me to Thailand for six weeks when I turned 30.
Re explaining the birds and bees to preschoolers: I wish I had an answer for you. Mine went through a phase of announcing to random people that "Mommy doesn't HAVE a penis." Which was hard enough without also having to deal with his gloating tone.
Posted by: Tammy at Feb 15, 2008 2:27:36 AM
Best gift ever? Not sure - maybe the fact that Abigail started walking exactly on my birthday.
Worst gift ever? My ex-husband bought me a step-stool...
I don't get facebook either & I get way too many stupid things from people.
Posted by: Rachel Inbar at Feb 15, 2008 2:48:39 AM
my best birthday present ever? the $3000 for my bar mitzvah from various and sundry givers that my dad stole.
my worst birthday present ever? my girlfriend's virginity. she also gave me the clap.
facebook? to me, it's worse than useless.
Posted by: RainbowW at Feb 15, 2008 4:37:08 AM
Worst gift -- miscarriage this most recent birthday.
Best gift -- hoping to try again in April in time for the best gift of my life this next birthday
Facebook - no interest
Posted by: tracy at Feb 15, 2008 4:47:25 AM
Best gift- Positive pee stick this past October.
Worst- Ex boyfriend peed in my brand new bed after drinking a fifth of tequila and alienating all my party guests.
Strangely both involve pee.
Posted by: Beepster at Feb 15, 2008 5:04:44 AM
Worst present was an electric lawn mower when I was 16. So not what I was looking for and it wasn't even a ride on... I'm right behind you on the birthday thing.
Posted by: Robin at Feb 15, 2008 5:06:29 AM
Oh, happy day, Julie... and i'm going to sound like an old geezer here but i'd love to have 37 yrs back... ah, youth is so wasted on the young. ;]
best gift: a weekend at an outrageously expensive, glorious hotel with 270 degree view of a lake on my favorite island... with my (hard earned) 10 month old daughter running naked around the room, squealing with excitement.
worst gift: cast iron skillet my husband bought me so he could make latkes for hanukkah. i'm not jewish.
charlie's latest - no idea. i do recall when we were visiting a farm that my then 3 yr old daughter asked how all those pregnant sheep were going to HAVE the babies. well, i said, completely unprepared - there's a special place where the babies come out when they are ready. "oh," she said... "like that hole right there?" pointing to a gap in the sheep's wool. well, no, the momma has a special place- ok, the baby comes out of the momma's vagina. oh. totally unphased and completely satisfied (and scarred for life, i'm sure) she then turns and excitedly screams to her father who is about 15 yards away and surrounded by grader schoolers - "dada, do you know babies come out of the momma's PAGINA!" so obviously i got nothin' but excellent parenting advice to share.
face book: no idea.
re: preg... deepest congrats and thanks to you, indirectly, i'm almost 14 weeks preg at the ripe old age of 60 (or so it feels some days). i'd love to email you to thank you for sharing your journey but i can't access your email, blasted it. so, i thank you... for your subtle MN connection / suggestion. brilliant. research. "bow tie" and the CDC website were all i needed. and other friends are following step. you have greatly helped many of us, Julie. sorry for rambling comment...
Posted by: tree town gal at Feb 15, 2008 5:25:13 AM
I don't know what to tell Charlie, but when my daughter asked about how she got out of my tummy, her question was framed, "Mummy... how did I explode out of your tummy?"
re: Facebook. I think it the point is that it is made for college students so that they can look on facebook instead of writing essays. I know this because I only recently graduated. When I was studying, facebook was the most interesting, bestest site ever. Now I have no essays to do, and facebook sort of sucks.
Posted by: Sarah at Feb 15, 2008 6:11:21 AM
After a slip one night when my husband screamed, "Douchebag!" to someone on TV - we told my daughter, "We don't say douchbag" when she repeated it. Now - she tells everyone, "We don't say douchebag." I can't get her to stop. So - when you solve your c-section narrator problem - share the knowledge.
Worst Birthday Gift: A Rolling Stones box set when I turned 19 given to me by my future ex-husband. Not that I didn't like the Rolling Stones, but this gift was obviously one he was just looking forward to claiming as his own since I was not even a fan enough to own a greatest hits album, much less a box set.
Posted by: Zoot at Feb 15, 2008 6:17:27 AM
1. Worst present: An iPod. Which my husband bought for himself. Three days after he told me he couldn't afford to get me anything for my birthday because we were saving money for other things.
Best present: An ultrasound showing all good things a few months ago.
2. No idea. I think you should just deny it in public and say he's adopted. That'll learn him.
3. Facebook's value and fun in your life is directly proportional to the amount of people you'd like to reconnect with. Because it has more younger users (though it's changing), it's more fun for young people because they are more likely to find a high school classmate, college roommate, etc. on it. I like it because I moved overseas and it's the easiest anti-social way to keep up with what everyone else is doing. I mean, I like them, but calling takes effort and math (to figure out what the hell time it is there).
Caveat: I am 29.
Posted by: Kirby at Feb 15, 2008 6:27:34 AM
Facebook - love it. I do have tons of 'friends,' but mostly I like it for the ability to see the 'status' of 20 or so of my closer friends and comment. I've had a lot of times where someone was having hard day stuck in the house with sick kids or something, and I was able to encourage them with a little note to them because I saw how they were feeling. And I've received the same thing - for me it's a great connection with friends in the outside world when I'm in the house with little kids all day. I don't think I could get the same effect without phoning all of my friends multiple times a day just to see how they were doing - like my kids would let me spend that much time on the phone anyway, lol!
Posted by: Dawn at Feb 15, 2008 7:06:29 AM
1. Worst gift: an engagement ring. Which led to a pretty soul-sucking marriage. And which, while Diamonique or some such, was attempted to be passed off as real (note: I'd never accept a real diamond due to ethical reasons, but GOD. DAMN!... the gall!).
2. Find something more offensive/disturbing to pique his interest. Just as a new love is the only cure for a broken heart, a new inappropriate toddler obsession is the only cure for an existing one. Perhaps teach him the particulars of tumescent liposuction? Curse words also work. J.Q. - sans coaching - has recently begun yelling, "SCHEISSE!" when he drops his sippy cup.
3. Facebook: don't. Get. It! Tempted to send this to the next person who sends me an invitation to "Which Mid-Ranking Franco-Prussian War Corporal Are YOU?".
Posted by: Jul at Feb 15, 2008 7:28:43 AM
I got a positive pregnancy test for my 30th birthday, although it was a day late. I also got a 10-speed bike for my tenth birthday. That was cool.
You have to wait Charlie out. I know from experience on this one.
Posted by: Jody at Feb 15, 2008 7:32:39 AM
First, 37 ain't bad. Just wait, the 40 series is a whole new lump of uh, fun.
Your questions - worst gift? Nothing. Best gift? heh, nothing.
Charlie won't stop. Not until he decided something else needs to be shared with the universe.
And FaceSpace? I dunno. I'm old.
Posted by: Dorothy at Feb 15, 2008 7:36:50 AM
I can't think of any bad Birthday gifts, but I did get a pair of nasty leg warmers for Christmas, which I consider my worst gift.
I have no idea on this one. I also will be telling my children, if they ask, that they came out of a hole in my "tummy". Boys seem to be naturally attracted to the whole blood and gore thing, so I don't think if you have a C section that the goriness can be avoided.
I don't get Face Book at all. In fact I have a bit of a grief with them because they kicked a woman off for having 'obscene' pictures of herself breastfeeding. That annoys me.
Congrats on making it to 15 weeks. Are you going to be finding out if you are carrying a boy or a girl?
Posted by: Chickenpig at Feb 15, 2008 7:55:21 AM
Happy birthday!
1. Don't think I've ever received something as memorably badas a shovel.
2. Tell him another story of interest and gore you wouldn't mind hearing (hook-beaked birds of prey vs. Africanized honeybees deathmatch, anyone?)
3. Design your own Facebook app (hook-beaked birds of prey vs. Africanized honeybees deathmatch, anyone?)
Posted by: Madame M at Feb 15, 2008 7:57:00 AM
Happy, happy, happy birthday. And oh, how that line about the Team made me laugh.
Posted by: Maren at Feb 15, 2008 7:59:15 AM
If you ever figure out why Facebook is useful and popular let us know. As far as I can tell it is designed to annoy people with poking and such.
Best birthday gift: my laptop computer! Worst birthday gift: My grandma's five sizes too small hand me down old lady warm up suit.
Posted by: Carrie at Feb 15, 2008 8:00:30 AM
PS HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! Geez, how could I leave that out? This year, if all goes well, I will have a baby roughly 2 weeks before my 38th. The best present ever! (knock on wood).
Posted by: Chickenpig at Feb 15, 2008 8:06:50 AM
