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07/20/2008
Loved you in Sliders. Now shut the hell up.
Stop the presses, America! According to People magazine, "Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell, who celebrated their first wedding anniversary July 14, are not expecting a baby — yet!"
It may not be immediately obvious why this is newsworthy. Why, in this corner of the Internet alone I know simply scads of people who aren't expecting a baby — "yet!" But as it turns out, apparently it's not enough that the media keep us apprised on a minute-by-minute basis of whose unseemly bloat is actually a sacred bump. Now you can get round-the-clock alerts about celebrities who aren't pregnant. Or who, like Romijn and O'Connell, want to be, as the actor announced on Saturday at a benefit for an animal rescue group.
O'Connell, who says trying to get pregnant is "a lot of fun," brought along the couple's dogs Taco and Better who he called "our babies."
Yeah, hey, doesn't trying to get pregnant rock? What's your favorite position, Jerry? The one where your knees are shaking uncontrollably during your HSG as you try to keep from crawling backward off the table from the pain? The one where you don't move from the sofa for three days after a D&C? The one where your doctor palpates your manly bag of worms?
Oh, oh, oh, wait, I get it! You meant having frequent sex is a lot of fun. I bet you were misquoted. If I were you I'd sue.
"It's just such a great feeling you get when you rescue an animal," he said. "They're eternally grateful and they really trust you and they're just the best."
Besides, he said, "Pets are training for kids."
You know, I agree! Pets are just like kids! Caring for an animal is a lot like being a parent. That dumb devotion gets me every time. I can't speak for anyone else, but I know I'm in it for the lambent gratitude that shines out of my son's eyes even as he delivers a vicious pinch to my upper arm because I've forbidden him to stick a green bean up his nose. ("It is my breathing tube," he furiously insists. "No more life-giving oxygen for you," I answer briskly, seizing the legume remorselessly.) And I can certainly agree that filling a water dish once daily and throwing the occasional tennis ball might prepa...
But, no, on second thought, let's skip that part, because I admit I am just being pissy. Let's jump ahead instead to the part where I call you a tacky jackass for declaring your reproductive plans to the press at all, much less at the Playboy Mansion; a famewhore for co-opting an event that's about puppies to make sure the world knows you're not averse to sticking it to your wife; and a stopped-clock-right-twice-a-day for musing that now is the time to have children, "before [Rebecca] figures out that she could do a lot better than me."
Stay every bit as classy as you are, Jerry.
For the rest of you who are not, so far as I know, making it nightly with a former supermodel, thank you for your support and perspective during my recent mini-meltdown. Tomorrow I have some things to give away, chocolate, quilted, and stuffed.
Posted by Julie at 08:10 PM in Jane, you ignorant slut | Permalink
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Comments (64)
Jerry O'Connell: The only man in America who is a bigger douchebag than Charlie Sheen.
Posted by: T. at Jul 20, 2008 8:29:51 PM
Yeah, but when the "fun" stage wears off, will we be hearing about that in the press? God I hope not! ;)
Posted by: april at Jul 20, 2008 8:52:03 PM
OMG, I clicked on the link.
"If you feel something in your testicle like a bag of worms..." sounds like the tag line on a trailer for a particularly disgusting horror film.
Posted by: Denise at Jul 20, 2008 8:56:21 PM
Hee hee hee... for the record, I agree with him that she could do better.
Remember that time we had the bat-baby shower? I wish we (the internet) could do that again to celebrate Robi-deux.
Posted by: liz at Jul 20, 2008 9:03:30 PM
Oh, but my husband IS a super model.
He was recently on the cover of "42-year-old Dudes Who Don't Own Sportcars". He was the one wearing socks with his Crocs.
Pets are great training for kids. Why, just yesterday, our cat rolled its eyes and said "WhatEVER" when I asked it to pick up the hairball is yurked on the rug.
Posted by: Jozet at Halushki at Jul 20, 2008 9:04:04 PM
So hilarious I had to read it a couple times more.
Hope all is well in your life =]
And I will definitely be tuning in tomorrow--but then again, I check everyday.
Posted by: Jennifer at Jul 20, 2008 9:06:54 PM
kool, as usual.
Posted by: Paz at Jul 20, 2008 9:12:13 PM
I don't know... our cats were waking us up for night feedings long before our son was born and continue to do so long after he stopped. And to be quite frank, I clean up cat puke, poop, and pee a lot more often than the toddler versions. (Okay, okay, my husband cleans up the cat indiscretions. But still.)
Posted by: cat, galloping at Jul 20, 2008 9:14:44 PM
I think I'm going to have to ask my husband to let me feel his bag of worms now, I never even thought to compare the two. Why did I click on that link???
Can you believe that my SIL (well, ex-SIL) is in fact totally, 100%, head-over-heels in love with Jerry.... ewww!
Posted by: Kahla at Jul 20, 2008 9:20:22 PM
yeah, umm... he should shut the hell up and take off his shirt. and shut the hell up. back to the taking off the shirt thing...
new time commenter, short time lurker.
Jane, you ignorant slut! lurve it.
Posted by: Yolanda at Jul 20, 2008 9:22:42 PM
I don't think he said anything wrong. There's no crime in wanting to have a baby with your wife. However, I'm not sure it's wise to invite the whole world to watch.
It just seems that People needed something to put between the advertisements and couldn't come up with anything better. It's like you are saying that if people don't go through all the infertility troubles, they haven't earned it. Pretty cranky today, Julie.
Posted by: Emilie at Jul 20, 2008 9:23:44 PM
Sometimes I wonder if any of these (read: celebrities) reads you, and then I am all, they have had to.
SNORT!
Posted by: thrice at Jul 20, 2008 9:54:06 PM
I'm gonna disagree with you on one thing...considering that I spent the entire night before giving birth to my son at the emergency vets office holding gauze on my dog's ass while he bled uncontrollably after surgery to remove a tumor...I'm not about to say it's the same thing as taking care of a baby (far from it) but, honestly, I do think it's good training when it comes to being responsible for another living creature besides yourself. I know among our friends that those of us who have had pets for a long time did seem to have a slightly easier adjustment.
I'll give the guy a pass. Guys don't think those things through before they open their mouths. Sounds like something my husband would have said when we first started trying.
I almost feel bad for these celebrities. (Almost!...but not quite) No wonder they lie when they are going through fertility treatment. I mean, it's not bad enough to have your whole family wondering every time they see you if your pregnant or not...you have the whole people magazine readership speculating every time you forget to put on your spanx before walking out the door.
Posted by: auburn at Jul 20, 2008 9:56:39 PM
Unless Rebecca Romijn has her eye on, like, Carrot Top, I don't think Jerry O'Connell has to worry. She seems to enjoy working her way backwards- not that John Stamos is a big stud or anything, but he's not quite as douchey as Vern.
Posted by: crabbyappleseed at Jul 20, 2008 10:02:58 PM
You know, I'm not sure Jerry realized he HAD a uterus until he went in for that first HSG...perhaps he's just commenting on the newfound fun of owning one. For example, the ability to find car keys, the inalienable right to demand chocolate or ice cream at any time by uttering the words "but my uterus HURTS," and the euphoria that was his first period. And they will be trying really hard to get pregnant until they figure out two uteri doth not make conception without intervention.
And for the record, my kids have never EVER humped a stuff animal across the room and then been aggravated about the ensuing red rocket. I want my money back.
PS Julie, hang in there hon, you're doing great.
Posted by: BrunhildeShort at Jul 20, 2008 10:05:46 PM
When you're a celebrity it must feel like everyone wants to know everything about you, so I guess nobody's looked Jerry square in the eye lately and flatly said, "That's too much information. Can we discuss something else please?"
Hopefully his wife isn't so vapid that she failed to have a little sit down to work out a simple list of "This is what Jerry can talk about with the Press" for her simple boy.
As for the pets part- well, in a superficial
"Hey, how do I feel about being responsible for another living being at all times?" way it helps. But like I warned my buddy when her absolute beester of a spoiled 6 years old was agitating for a kitten: "ONLY get the cat if YOU want a cat because you're going to be the real owner here. Beside that, the only other warning I have is that you may find yourself dealing with the guilt of actually liking the cat MORE some days. Why? Because purrs and snuggles and gratitude for simply opening a can of tuna (despite the occasional hairball) can beat out a cranky kid who's only response to a whole day of laundry, soccer car pool and meal planning/cooking may be "THIS IS YUCKY!" (YES- the love for a child supersedes the love for a pet--but I said "Like" not "Love". )
Posted by: Sally at Jul 20, 2008 10:08:11 PM
off topic, sort of, but damn, Julie you are f-n pregnant! :-O (the math just caught up with me)
Posted by: Paz at Jul 20, 2008 10:49:37 PM
Well, let's be kind and give credit: now and prior to children, our dog would always comes to my side of the bed when sick in the middle of the night, knowing my husband won't hear a thing. That's exactly what my daughter does, too. So, sure, dog = perfect training for children. I've needed little else preparation.
I know by now, on that TMI celebrity front, I shouldn't be surprised by these types of articles, and yet, I'm always stunned.
Posted by: tree town gal at Jul 20, 2008 10:54:04 PM
Gee, Julie, can you spell hypocrite?? Why is it ok for you to share intimate life details with the world, but not okay for this guy to be publicly excited about trying to become a dad? Are you really still so bitter that you can't stand the thought that anyone else might possibly get pregnant with reasonable ease or a bit of enjoyment? Maybe you're forgetting the key component of parenthood here: unselfishness. Maybe a pet would help you!
Posted by: L at Jul 20, 2008 11:10:00 PM
on the hsg site it said....You may want to bring along a sanitary napkin to wear after the test because some leakage of the X-ray dye may occur along with slight bleeding.
as i remember i bled like a stuck pig and prayed i would get home in time to not bleed thru the horse pad they provided.
Posted by: kris at Jul 20, 2008 11:10:26 PM
So strange because I don't even know you but I found myself smiling this morning because I am excited that you are going to have a baby. I have read your entire blog, I am just very happy and excited for you and your family. Best wishes for a safe delivery. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with the internets.
Posted by: Jessica at Jul 20, 2008 11:25:38 PM
Wow..... Jerry.....hot and yet stoopid.
And I couldn't even make myself comment your last post, I was too pissed off at the commenter to say anything other than
arrrrrrgghghhhhhhhhh.....
Posted by: Sheri at Jul 20, 2008 11:52:40 PM
I vote for cranky, too.
Posted by: suzanne at Jul 20, 2008 11:59:17 PM
Julie, oh my, you surely are very pregnant now! Leave the poor guy alone, he hasn't even got the requisite 2 brain cells to rub together! Although, I do have to say that presumably they will be going for looks not intelligence with the gene potential they have....
Posted by: Sharon at Jul 21, 2008 12:06:02 AM
Julie, oh my, you surely are very pregnant now! Leave the poor guy alone, he hasn't even got the requisite 2 brain cells to rub together! Although, I do have to say that presumably they will be going for looks not intelligence with the gene potential they have....
Posted by: Sharon at Jul 21, 2008 12:07:55 AM
Ooops, my brain cells aren't rubbing together too well today, sorry for the doubled comment
Posted by: Sharon at Jul 21, 2008 12:09:41 AM
I sometimes think celebrities are so used to being interviewed that they've lost perspective on what's TMI and what's not.
You should be nearly at your due date now! Excellent!
Posted by: KirstenB at Jul 21, 2008 12:21:14 AM
Yeah, I can't quite see how he's any worse than the average clueless person (woman or man, and goodness knows there are plenty of them) who just doesn't know how hard it can be. Some of them/their significant others get pregnant right away and they tell everyone the first week and never have a reason to regret it or know just how lucky they were. Some of them.... don't. He just happens to be famous, is the difference.
Now if his wife, who is at least 36, has told him it might not be easy, or has asked him to keep it on the DL, then he would earn a medal of Extra Assiness. But lots of couples who don't know better are happy to talk about their plans.
I can't believe how the time has flown, from my perspective anyway, and that you're so close to your due date. I am so very happy for you!
Posted by: L. at Jul 21, 2008 6:33:23 AM
I remember early on when we were first TTC and got a puppy. My husband complained about getting up ONCE in the middle of the night to let our puppy out. I told him, you know, we're going to have to get up OFTEN with babies? He said, "I don't think babies will be this hard." HUH??? I reminded him that we couldn't put our babies in a crate when we want to go out to dinner.
I think men just don't get it sometimes.
Posted by: Tracy at Jul 21, 2008 7:59:20 AM
I don't see the big deal personally.
I mean I understand that the battle with infertility is hard..
But it's NOT the people who can get pregnant easily's fault. It sucks. But I don't see why they should be depressed and not be excited just because it pisses you off.
Posted by: x at Jul 21, 2008 8:00:14 AM
Here, here!! I clicked on People.com and saw that "exclusive" and instantly thought it must be the slowest news day of the year. Sad thing is, these two can probably reproduce effortlessly -- God help the IQ-challenged spawn.
Posted by: Stacey at Jul 21, 2008 9:04:34 AM
I went back and read the article and since there is no way of knowing what questions Jerry was actually asked ... it's hard to judge his responses. Secondly, as the "fat kid" in Stand By Me, can you blame him for bragging about bonking his wife? Finally, I'm with you on the pets. I'm especially annoyed by people who think that their dogs should have the same rights as my children at parties -- but that's way off topic entirely.
Posted by: Kelly at Jul 21, 2008 9:25:35 AM
Yes, he's a jackass, but none of the "stars" featured in People Magazine could, even collectively, equal the douchebaggery of People Magazine, itself. Oh, originator of the term "baby bump," how I loathe you.
Posted by: ALH at Jul 21, 2008 9:44:42 AM
My mind went to a different place on this one - my first thought was how SHE was going to feel if for some reason ttc didn't work out. Her husband has told the world they're trying and from now until she does conceive the media will be obsessing over it. It was bad enough when my own mom kept harping on when it was going to happen.
And, if you are a little cranky, it's understandable sweetie. Even pregnancies that are very hoped for can stil get to the point where hormones and discomfort start getting to you. ;)
Posted by: Mandy at Jul 21, 2008 10:17:04 AM
You know, I do feel bad for celebs every time they try to eat a cheeseburger and they get a "bump" - the press is instantly reporting a pregnancy.
At my current size (12), I'm sure the press would think I was 9 months pregnant by hollywood standards!
Hmmm, totally off topic, sorry about that.
:) Becky
http://www.stinkylemsky.typepad.com/
Posted by: Becky at Jul 21, 2008 10:23:18 AM
Craaaaaap!! I am flying with the kid tomorrow to rural michigan. We made ticket reservations before I realized just how squirmy he'd get to 13 months, and now I have to miss out on the drawings. Sigh, this will be the first time I have missed some in years. Have a great time with it :) I look forward to seeing pictures.
And yeah. She doesn't pick her mates very well, I must say.
Posted by: Mandy at Jul 21, 2008 10:30:25 AM
julie, generally i'm with you 100% on the clueless-wonder-/judgmental douche-bashing, but i interviewed this guy once and he doesn't deserve the cockpunch. he's not stupid, he has good manners, he's got a sense of humor (have you seen that interwebs thing where he parodies tom cruise?) and he is way more level-headed and non-schmucky than most celebs. i agree with some of the earlier commentators: give him the clueless dude pass. one HOPES someone close to him will educate him. and ptui, may he not get educated by personal experience.
Posted by: marjorie at Jul 21, 2008 10:36:19 AM
If those are the names of their dogs, and pets are "practice" for kids, what do you suppose they will name the (hoped for) child? Quesadilla Superlative O'Connell??????
Posted by: Liz at Jul 21, 2008 10:48:59 AM
Yeah, I think he's an idiot BUT... I think he's just clueless that a comment like that could cause a person who didn't have "fun" ttc, to squirm a bit.
He's amongst the uneducated in this world when it comes to infertility issues. Who is to blame here? Him, for not ever knowing anyone who experienced it? (Lucky guy, I'd say.) The medical community for not doing enough PR on the subject? The media for not covering enough celebs that did jump through hoops to get pg?
In my opinion, we shouldn't be too quick to judge someone for what they haven't had a reason to receive an education about. I know before my first miscarriage, I said a lot of stupid things. Before my first preemie, I was clueless about life in the NICU and probably thought that going home without your baby to get some rest was a good thing! Now, I know. I've learned to be sensitive with my comments because I've lived it.
Here's to hoping he never needs to know.
Posted by: Dani at Jul 21, 2008 10:49:07 AM
I got irritated at that report too. Thanks for the side of snark. I needed that.
Posted by: Heather at Jul 21, 2008 10:53:11 AM
Mee-ooww! Seems to me like you are making a too big of deal about that situation. So what if they are "having fun trying"? Couples who start trying ASSUME that it will happen for them eventually, naturally. What is Jerry supposed to say" I am trying to impregnate my wife, but if it doesnt happen soon then we will consult a doctor and take it from there." Pu-lease. I am not even a fan of either one of those two but jeez you dont have to analyze every comment a "celebrity" makes regarding pregnancy and take it so personally.
Posted by: Terra at Jul 21, 2008 12:08:10 PM
You've earned your late-pregnancy crankiness--you get a pass, too!
I think the "fun to try" thing will always rankle those of us who have experienced IF hell. I'll never forget my mom commenting about how "fun" doing IVF would be--because I might get pregnant! I informed her that after three years of IF and six failed IUI's that "fun" wasn't exactly the F-word I was saying in my head all of the time.
Posted by: Julia at Jul 21, 2008 12:31:44 PM
Jeez, what tree do you have up your a** today? If you don't like it, don't read it. Not everyone's pregnancy, anticipated or real is a calculated affront to the infertile community.
Posted by: lamom at Jul 21, 2008 12:51:05 PM
I get the annoyance, but honestly I know a lot of great men and fathers who would joke about these exact things before they had kids. He just happens to be a celebrity and dumb enough to have said these things to a reporter.
Posted by: Marcy at Jul 21, 2008 12:51:50 PM
I'm sure his wife is just thrilled with his announcement.
On your last post--I gave birth drunk while sky-diving, perfectly, three times (and one of them was over 10 lbs). Talk about transcendant. If your docs try to talk you out of doing it that way--well they're obviously just a pack of rabid assholes.
Seriously--my first son was over 10 lbs, and I bled for almost 3 months after having him. I couldn't cross my legs or go for a real walk for much, much longer (and I'm 6ft tall). My "midwife" told me that my body wouldn't make a baby I couldn't deliver. What she didn't tell me is that my body would make a baby that could cause me considerable damage upon its exit. Even if I had had him at home. Or sky diving drunk.
Best of luck, and I'm so happy for you and your family!
Posted by: at Jul 21, 2008 1:26:12 PM
Why is Jerry "so dumb" etc.. for saying what he did? Any more these days you can't say anything without offending SOME group of people. So what if he let people know they are trying to get pregnant, and having fun trying? I say good for them!!
Posted by: Jeri at Jul 21, 2008 1:33:15 PM
Yes, pets are like children. Why, when I leave my children for the day, I always lock them in their crate with a chew toy and bid them adieu. Child care is for sissies I tell you!
Posted by: Therese at Jul 21, 2008 2:22:57 PM
Julie, I love your posts. You are nothing if not thorough, my friend. Comments are closed on your last post, I think, but just wanted to apply the current comment retroactively as well: you kick so much ass I can't even take it. I get exhausted just reading you, not quite sure how you survive being you, but I always come away from one of your rants feeling like I just went to a really inspirational speech. So there's that.
Posted by: mfk at Jul 21, 2008 3:46:59 PM
I don't think he was out of line with his comment. I'm not famous but I sure as hell don't want everyone else knowing everything I'm going through. What was he supposed to say: Well we've been having sex constantly for a year and there's no baby so obvisouly there's some sort of problem and we thought we share that with all of you? I'd rather he say its taken a year than to have twins and pretend that (a) it was by accident or (b) deny that it was IVF like a lot of celebs. I think it shows balls to admit to the world that you're not the most fertile couple in the world. I wouldn't want to be in that position at all!
Posted by: Emily at Jul 21, 2008 4:39:10 PM
I love you and love your blog, and I only say that first to soften the blow of what comes next: You're crabby as hell today. Go take a nap.
Posted by: D at Jul 21, 2008 7:39:06 PM
