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10/02/2008

IBTC

  1. File under "Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow": Please enjoy FUNWARI MILK CHAN.  I wonder if they're sold in pairs.
  2. File under "Word to your lovely mother": A neologism found on turdwords.com, a site so patently NSFW that I'm not going to link it here:

    Natty Gs (n., plural): Loose, flappy breasts like the kind you'd see in National Geographic.

    Two months postpartum, I could be a cover girl — and not for my arresting green eyes.
  3. File under "I scream, you scream": PETA asks Ben and Jerry's to replace the cow's milk in their premium ice creams with human milk.  Leave your best suggestions for delectable new flavor names in the comments — there will be a prize.

Comments (153)

1. kat said:

Tutti Fruity Titty!

2. Jennifer said:

Boob-erry!

3. KLynn said:

Funky Cold Medela!

4. Julie said:

HAHAHAHAHAHA

5. Orange said:

Mammary Marshmallow Swirl

Marshmammary Madness

Nipple Nougat Crunch

Caramel Areola Swirl

You Promised Me Dog or Better Vanilla

Extra Creamy Chocolate Bosom and Extra Creamy Vanilla Bosom

Dulce de Leche de la Madre

Bosom Buddy Nutty

Neapolactation

6. june said:

I can't beat funky cold medela.

7. Sara said:

My, we are opaque today. I think I can guess at IBTC but NSFW ? I'm lost.

8. Tamsen said:

Boobie Batter (Brownie Batter)
Banana Tit (Banana Split)
Half A'Breast (Half Baked)
Booby Treasure (Berried Treasure)
Sweet Teat & Cookies (Sweet Cream & Cookies)
Juggin' Me Crazy (Jamacian Me Crazy)
Vanilla Fudge Tit (Vanilla Fudge Chip)

9. Tamsen said:

#7/Sara - NSFW = Not Safe For Work

10. Lily said:

Yucky Yogurt...

11. Wendy said:

Well, if we're going for Ben & Jerry's, I'd totally go with

Breast Vanilla Ever!

12. nichole said:

Nipple ripple (with apologies to Reginald Perrin)

13. Amy said:

Lactation Sensation

Yo Momma

I think they need a human milk ice cream in Apple Pie flavor, so it could be

"As American as Mom and Apple Pie"

Maybe pray while you're eating it, and then it could be "Mom, God, and Apple Pie..."

Yeugh...
Amy @ http://prettybabies.blogspot.com

14. Jul said:

Colostrumallow
Dulce de Duct-e
Peanut Udder Cup
Engorgemint

Oh, this is AWESOME...

15. Meg said:

Headlight Delight

Puttin' on the Tits.

Breastfest Blend.

Nipple Ripple.

(I did actually make breastmilk ice cream once. That's what happens when you have 100 oz of breastmilk in your fridge, not to mention the 300 oz in your freezer and your baby is less than two weeks old. Oddly, couldn't pump a thing with baby number two. I think i used it all up.)

16. Helloheather said:

Oh my god, Funky Cold Medela is AWESOME!

#3 KLynn, you are one clever individual. :)

17. Michelle said:

Coffee Cool-tata

18. GJM said:

Pump-kin Cream

Colost-rum Raisin

Cha-Cha Chocolate

19. Heather said:

No good names for the ice cream because #3 rules!

But if they could make ice cream, they could make butter...

Land O' Lactation anyone?

20. Jul said:

You Should Talk To A Lactation Consultant Frutti
Neapolanolin
Butter PeCans
Exocrine Gland Super Fudge Chunk
No, Not THOSE Kind of Cones...

21. Julie said:

Racky Road

22. Kim said:

Holy shit...Funky Cold Medela...that sent coffee into my nose! Awesome.

Macadamia Mammary Madness

23. Brenda said:

"The Pump & Dump: New Year's Eve Ice Cream" (alcholic)

24. Julie said:

I've Got a Lovely Pair of Coconut

25. Spacemom said:

Hmmmm, Not sure I can keep up with those...

Funky mommy

What a rack-rocky-road

Cherry Garcia's Mom

Boobielicious phish food.

Chocolate chippy titty

26. gretchen said:

Nipplepolitan

Vanipple

Fore Milk Chocolate (low fat)

Hind Milk Chocolate

Thrushberry (actually, a frozen yogurt)

Fenugreek Maple

27. Melissa said:

No clever entry from me, but I had to say you are all the wittiest people ever.

Funky Cold Medela...my stomach hurts from the laughter!

28. MichelleL said:

Pick me up parfait

Made exclusively with breastmilk from women on anti-depressants.

29. KLynn said:

How 'bout

D-cup Runneth Over

30. Kathleen said:

Yes I Had Curry Yesterday, Deal With It

31. rosie_kate said:

These comments are making me laugh til I hurt! You people are hilarious!

32. Elizabeth said:

I don't think I beat funky cold medela...

Mamgo Twist
Creme Braissiere

33. Becky said:

Banana Spilt Milk. :)

34. Denise said:

Dulce de la Leche League

(you all were tiptoeing around that one)

35. Angela said:

No witty entry from me so far...but damn...you all deserve a prize for your creativity!
Off point...am I the only one who can't stand the new trendy abbreviated name for National Geographic?? "Nat Geo"...sheesh.

36. Jesse said:

I'm gonna go with Colostrum Crunch or Hooter Hash.

I'm all for treating animals "ethically" but I'm not clear on how milking cows is a bad thing...I mean, no one is killing the cows for their milk, right?

37. Shawna said:

Mint Chocolate Mama
Nipples 'n Cream
Chocolate Fudge Boobies
Peanut Butter Cups
Booby Batter
Knocked Up Nougat
Postpartum Praline
Everything But The Baby
New York Super Sore Fudge Pump

38. Jen said:

Julie, yet again you make me spit tea onto my monitor. And then KLynn made me do it again. I have no great ice cream names, but MAN I needed that! Thanks!

39. mudnyc said:

Natty G's Expresso

40. Gillian said:

Oh. My. God.

You are killing me with these.

I got nothin'.

Boobberry Cheesecake
Natty Geelicious


Why am I even attempting?

41. Shes said:

I usually don't comment, but this made me....comments cracked me up!

Mom-alade

Suckling Strawberry

Lano-lime

Coco-duct Cream

Frozen Liquid Gold!

Leaky Breaky Heart

I'll quit, it's just getting worse from here out!

42. MamaChristy said:

Momalicious

43. Julie said:

HAHAHAHAHA EXPRESSO HAHAHAHAHA

44. Carrie said:

Titty Titty Banana Bang

45. Elizabeth said:

I stole this from a message board, so I can't take credit for it, but

I Can't Believe It's Not Mother

46. Gabrielle said:

"Just Like Mom's!"

47. Stacey said:

OMG -- this is just the BEST! I can't get over how clever y'all are! Carrie stole my "Titty, Titty [bang, bang]" . . . so now I've got nothin! Maybe "Edy's Teedy's?" -- but I'm reaching!

48. qwanty said:

1) Does the fact that this strikes me as totally revolting mean there is something wrong with me? I mean, milk from nameless cows = okay, but milk from nameless women = not okay? Can I no longer consider myself a feminist?

2) Now I'm listening to Cornershop.

3) I look forward to reading the comments, but for now: I Can't Believe it's Not Udder!

49. mamasutra said:

MILF-mallow?

50. Another Anna said:

Chocoletdown

Dulce de Latche

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