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01/18/2009
120 hour party people
Hey! Day 5 embryos stored somewhere in Minneapolis! Happy You Day! Whooooo! I made you some festive party hats. Here they are!
So clap 'em on and let's celebrate. Let's get this party star-teddddd!
Wait, you hadn't heard? Well! I guess they don't have the Internet in your cryopreservation tank, although I did think I'd checked that box on the form...but no matter. I'm thrilled to be the one to tell you, then. Outgoing president George W. Bush — whose approval rating according to Fox News stands at a towering 34%, which, I mean, damn, that's Fox News, y'all — has decreed that Sunday, January 18 is National Sanctity of Human Life Day. (Quite an astonishing coincidence that it falls so close to the anniversary of Roe v. Wade.)
"I call upon all Americans," declares President Pew Pegs You at 24, "to recognize this day with appropriate ceremonies and to underscore our commitment to respecting and protecting the life and dignity of every human being."
Appropriate ceremonies! I don't know about you, but to me, that means presents! Look! I made you a stripey blanket.
You know, for if you get cold.
In case you've been living under a rock (or if you were distracted by being bathed in a highly osmotic cryoprotectant fluid, sluiced into a glass straw, and slid into a temperature-controlled storage tank seething with liquid nitrogen, and, I mean, my God, who wouldn't be, although you really should pick up a newspaper now and then), you should know this is nothing new. Reagan started it; Bush continued it; Clinton ignored it; and President New York Times Says 22 picked it back up. This year he's proclaimed that "all human life is a gift from our Creator that is sacred, unique, and worthy of protection."
Now, he's obviously talking about abortion. No doubt about that when his proclamation showcases his anti-choice efforts. But I think he probably means you, too, when he says that "our country recognizes that each person, including every person waiting to be born, has a special place and purpose in this world."
Congratulations! You've been upgraded! You're no longer merely a microscopic wad of cells, potential human life. You're a person waiting to be born.
NOISEMAKERS! I brought noisemakers!
Two of you are cool with sharing, right?
Anyway, I'm assuming Bush is talking about embryonic stem cell research, and therefore cryopreserved embryos, as well as abortion. After all, his opposition led him to veto federal funding for such research not once but twice, even while almost 70% of Americans polled declared their support for it. "Destroying human life in the hopes of saving human life is not ethical," he said. (Which rather begs the question, hmmm? Hey, those hats look better if you wear them at a rakish angle.)
And if I were a better mother — a better mother of five, if we count you along with the two fully realized human beings I currently have the honor of raising — I might be nodding as I read his words. Agreeing that sacrificing your potential for someone else's actual would be the depths of immorality. Agreeing, in fact, that you yourself are actual. Signing on with fervor to his expressed "dedication to heeding this message of conscience by speaking up for the weak and voiceless among us." (Perhaps the president knows something I don't. Has your tank been moved to Whoville?)
I didn't know, before I had Ben, whether knowing him would change my stance. It's one thing to take a relatively unsentimental position when one has nothing at stake — i.e., no embryos at issue. But is it another thing altogether, I wondered, when there's living, cereal-smeared proof of what those could become?
But no. I'm still where I started. Undecided on what we'll do with our own personal peoplewaitingtobebornbryos, but not at all ruling out research. I love children, and I love even more for people who want them to have them. But even given these facts, even with three in the freezer and one from their batch in the high chair, I will not deny that your "special place and purpose in this world" might well end up being under a glass cover slip. Rock on with your pluripotent selves.
Here I am instead, having happily paid your quarterly rent, feeling grateful that mere days remain of this disastrous presidency, relieved that President-elect Obama has pledged to lift the restrictions Bush twice refused to change. And that is what I'm celebrating. You are sacred — not only in the way Bush insists, not only because you could one day become someone's children, but also because you might help save someone's life one day. A life indeed worthy of protection. Or advance a cure for Alzheimer's. Diabetes. Cancer. Sure. Why not? You could be destined for greatness. A quiet collective greatness.
Maybe now we'll find out. And if that's not worth a party, what is?
Comments (79)
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You forgot to mention MS research, as well:)
Excellent post, by the way!
Why just stop at abortion and stem-cell testing? Why not forbid women to have their ovaries taken out and forbid men to go have the little "snip snip" because there are little spermies and eggs with POTENTIAL to become future human beings. Oh, how I count the days...
Outstanding post Julie!
This was incredibly well-written! Thought provoking and just great. Kudos to you.
**clapping**
Awesome post, Julie!
Amen.
Also, Ben is just gorgeous. What lovely boys you have.
If they're really people, why don't you get to take a tax deduction for them? I mean, you have to pay for their upkeep, after all.
I nominate Julie for a post on Obama's cabinet. Doesn't matter what position. Just as long as Julie is part of the presidential inner circle -that's all I ask.
That little Ben - delectable!
I think that blanket is a little big.
We notice, though, that for this president it is absolutely ethical to destroy human life, by which I mean actual autonomously breathing human life, just not the kind that speaks English or shops at Wallmart, in hopes of, and we are giving him and his delusions the widest possible berth here, of saving other human life. And achieving, in actuality no such goal. But that minor detail not causing him to repent or, you know, G-d forbid, acknowledge a mistake. And I am on this tangent because I have nothing to add to your brilliant takedown on the immediate topic at hand.
I have one of those countdown clocks on a keychain in my office. It's time, I think, to start carrying it around. It's no longer depressing to look at it.
I wonder what qualifies as an "appropriate ceremony." Throwing rocks at pregnant teenage girls outside a Planned Parenthood, maybe?
Hear hear, Julie. Thanks for this.
Isn't this exactly why Amendment 48 didn't pass? Because it's ridiculous to call a couple of cells human life?
I mean, I just had my first child, and I had the same worries about my stance on abortion and stem-cell research. Now though, I realize that having James in my life makes me better understand why we need to continue research for cures to diseases I hope my child will never have to face.
I suspect we're mere minutes away from the first outraged response to this post. Julie, I encourage you to delete any such posts and keep the focus exactly where you put it.
That would kick ass, if your embryos could make a totally rad stem cell line that researchers nationwide would be able to use. Of course, your embryos' lines would make the other lines chortle all night when the scientists go home for the night.
. . . and celebrate we can! And we might also celebrate the exit of the most ridiculous stem cell discussion of all--cloning, the creation of human drones by stem cell researchers. The legacy of this president-exit is creating fear at the expense of the other (us!).
Your writing is so thoughtful.
Wow, Ben looks so much like Charlie in that picture! :) What a handsome devil.
I have four "snowflake babies" (yak and double yak) one ice. I didn't want to go through this again. I have transferred every other embryo I've made, and part of the deal of wanting to have another baby after the twins was to use the remaining embryos I had in storage. Of course, I had a chemical pregnancy, which like a taste of crack, was enough to make me come back for more. Now I have embryos on ice, again. Thankfully I may actually be able to donate these and have them be useful. YEAH!!!
Also, I have some Gonal F pens that expire in Feb. I sent out my last extras off to someone that contacted me from a post I left here. My clinic wouldn't take the stuff back. I can't say that I will mail the stuff to someone who needs it because that is illegal, but if anyone wants to drop a line to my email with suggestions on how to help me with that problem, that would be cool.
dear dubya,
if conception begins at conception-i want to know where my four children are? (i had four very early m/c's)?.
love,
your nevervotedforyou citizen,
apronstrings.
Hey, can my embryos come to your party? I hope you aren't carding, though, they're only Day 3s.
Excellent post!
Well, you know, as long as he's consistant.
That life insurrance check he handed out to my military husband upon the death of my 39 week 4 day not-yet-born daughter to cover funeral costs and to donate to research into what caused her death was very much appriciated.
Oh, wait. Nevermind. She was declared a product of pregnancy and never an actual person so there was no check, no funeral costs covered, and more importantly, no funds to send to the wonderful people working to prevent future not-actual-deaths of future not-actual-people. Sorry, my mistake.
So much for consistancy x-pres.
Robyn, I'm so sorry for your loss.
Julie, thank you for your post -- you belong on the OP-Ed page of the New York Times.
Robyn, I have no words with which to comfort you. Except to hope that the love that created your beautiful baby will continue to comfort you and your husband.
Sing it, sister!!
My embryos are paryting with some good doctors on the day.
We elected to release them for research, then received a request from Cornell asking if they could use them for stem cell research.
I didn't know they were able to do that. I cried. We have Alzheimers and lupus and 3 kinds of virulent cancer in our family for starters (want to adopt those embryos?)
We had to sign all kinds of consents. Doing so, in the end, was harder than I had thought. I was allowed to request information as to anything that was learned, accomplished by the work with our embryos, but in the end all that may come of it is more understanding od growing lines, without being successful, and even that I rank as important.
I purposely just paid $200 to store my 12 frozen ones for another year so I could donate them to research instead of trashing them for nothing.
I'll party for that hope!!!
Thanks for this. I wondered why the trolls were out in force today. Very much needed to listen to your evangelism for the sane.
I have had two children from successful IVF's and now my parents (very, very Conservative Baptists) are threatening to disown us if we don't spend thousands of dollars that we don't have to dethaw the ONE remaining embryo and transfer it "Because it's wrong not to". And if that one embryo does make it, (despite the tremendous odds against it, thereby wasting said thousands of dollars), we would then have a third child that we could not afford.
It's been nice knowing you, mom and dad!
Brava, Julie! How you manage to provoke my political ire (against Bush, of course, not you) in one breath and laugh out loud the next... true talent!
I have no frozen embryos or anything, but I am always looking for worthy causes to donate my considerable knitting skillz to, so let me know if you need more of those stripey blankets ;)
Robyn,
I am so sorry for your loss...yes the hypocrisy is a bit overwhelming on this issue, isn't it? Sigh....
Have you seen http://www.glowinthewoods.com/home/ ? Just in case it might offer you some comfort.
Julie, this whole thing drives me crazy, because although Bush could only deny federal funding, up here in Canada, stem cell research is subject to criminal sanctions unless the government authorizes it. You know why? Because the morons in Parliament got confused when they banned ALL cloning, instead of just reproductive cloning. One is creating a mini-me and likely should be banned, but the other kind is used for replicating stem cell lines, and can no longer be done in Canada without a possible 10 year jail sentence.
If anyone ever needed an example of why politicians should never make laws about science or reproduction, this is it.
I envy the US right now. You are actually about to have an intelligent person to lead your country. *jealous*
As the owner of half a soccer team of potential people, amen to that.
J
Julie, as always, you take an issue that makes me so completely annoyed that all I can do is snort and roll my eyes - and describe your view with humor and obvious intelligence.
I agree with you wholeheartedly, and I think you're hilarious.
Bring on the noise makers!!
I always enjoy your blog. I agree with your perspective on these issues to a T. I check daily to see if you've had a chance to post something new, but I'm pleased that your growing family and the other parts of your life consume most of your time - just the way it should be. Thanks for the position taken in today's blog.
Excellent, excellent post, Julie.
Robyn--I am so very sorry about your little one. "Product of pregnancy"? I think not.
Your precious baby was certainly so much more. I hope that time will bring you some small measure of peace.
Is it Tuesday yet?
Great party! The kind that will leave me hungover for days trying to reconcile the myriad of issues you brought up.
Damn - those noisemakers!!
We just signed the papers, with the same clinic, to donate our remaining embryos to reasearch. We decided that not only are we happy that they might someday help cure many ailments, but that it was our last screw you to Bush.
BRAVO!!! :::clapping wildly:::
I'd consider partying with your cell-cicles but I bet those three are real lightweights. ;) Excellent post.
I'm a type 1 diabetic. Mom of 3. I have lost my father, aunt, and mother (2 weeks ago) Within the last 2 years. All from diseases that could have been helped (if not now, then hopefully someday in the future) by stem cell research.
Your post brought tears to my eyes. The future really does look brighter.
That was a great post. Beautifully written.
Oh goodness, sorry Julie and all, I hadn't meant at all to hijack quite like that. I guess I forget the impact of sharing about my stillbirth. Rest assured that Anily passed almost 6 years ago now and we are not at all in the massive throws of grief as when such a loss is brand new.
No, I was just pointing out how frustrating it is to have the issue be so inconsistant. Especially from a military policy that is supposed to be there to help active duty families. I know it is hard to draw a line and say "baby" or "not baby" but it drives me nuts to see them push to be so rigid about embryos and tiny things that are only a few cells when my 8 and a half pound daughter with blue eyes and dark hair and a tendancy to get fiesty when mom sang was so officially and completely "not baby" according to the government.
It was a beautiful post Julie. I don't always agree with your stance on this issue but I don't always dissagree either. Either way, you do have a wonderful way with words.
Thank you, Julie.
A post for the ages!
Dear Julie, I have followed & enjoyed your blog since its inception, and you have been a tremendous encouragement to me as I battled infertility. Even though we don't always agree on things, I always appreciate your humor, grace, and insight. The tone of this post, however, left me...well, disappointed...hence, I am finally "delurking." I say none of this with anger, sarcasm, or an ulterior motive, but please be patient with me as I respectfully share some thoughts from my perspective.
ON BUSH: While I espouse an obviously more conservative viewpoint than you, no one can say the man has not been an idiot or done some idiotic things. I don't think this day or this subject was meant to be about him, however.
ON STEM-CELL RESEARCH: Can we agree that there are SOME gray areas on this subject? We are, after all, trying to preserve & protect life--some argue for "future" life & some for existing but "ailing" life. Stem-cells, however, CAN be harvested from cells that are not in embryos. Could we work to utilize non-embryonic stem-cells AND protect embryos? Is that too idealistic? While I realize it does not solve the PERSONAL dilemma of what to do with stored embryos, I do not believe that THIS is what Sanctity of Life day is about, either.
ON ABORTION: I know I will never convince those of the opposite view to join my position, but I am genuinely confused by some women's position on this. Doesn't every woman who experiences a miscarriage experience a tremendous loss...even if she is only a few days pregnant? How then can we say that she didn't lose a life?
And in a way, isn't this day what your blog is really all about? How you struggled for and are now reveling in the joy of the lives of your children? Isn't your blog really all about the sanctity and blessing of their lives?
I love coming here to read your views--even if I don't agree w/them, I love hearing from you. And I know you have the right to express WHATEVER you want on this page. But I've never felt the way I did when I read this post. For me, the political agenda and venomous tone--almost hatred--of this post distracted and detracted from what should've been a meaningful day for many women who read your thoughts. Especially for so many of us who are desperately longing for a precious little one--and even if we disagree with the political posturing behind the day--this day could've had meaning in celebrating the sanctity & joy of what we're longing for. Maybe celebrating pregnancy and birth and new lives and the lives of our loved ones could override our political disagreements and bring some unity??
Respectfully,
Maritza
Maritza,
Thank you for expressing your views so respectfully. I sincerely hope that your quest for a little one is successful.
In answer to the question you posed, no, every woman who has a miscarriage does not experience a tremendous loss. There are many, many sad and/or difficult situations that are ameliorated by a miscarriage or abortion.
For many, reveling in the joy of children does not equate to viewing an 8 celled embryo the same way. I do not consider an embryo a life. My frozen embryos will be destroyed or donated. If I can find a way to donate them to a person, I would prefer that. However, I consider donating my embryos to research a much more useful end than simply trashing them.
With respect to Bush...I am not even American and I resent his interference into the reproductive lives of Americans. I really enjoy freedom...and that includes freedom to choose for myself. It is time for the restrictions to be lifted so that the anti-choice movement can take a step back.
Maritza,
I have suffered two early miscarriages. Both of them were devastating. And in both of them, yes, I felt a profound sense of loss -- but of a pregnancy, not of a baby. I grieved, but for the potential that was taken away, not for the loss of an actual life.
Look at your two beautiful children and thank God. Your post made me really sad.
I have never managed to understand how the rights of a clump of cells are so much greater than those of a post-birth person of however many years who have contributed to society, the economy and our knowledge. Destroying life to save life goes both ways?
Maritza,
I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. I was devastated. But it was the chance of having a baby that I lost, not a life. I wouldn't compare what I went through to be nearly as painful as giving birth to baby before it was viable, or giving birth to a still born. I also had a chemical pregnancy, and that made me feel a little sad, but I would hardly say that I felt a tremendous loss. It was barely a bump on my infertile road.
Every embryo is a living thing, but being alive is miles away from being A Life. The "every embryo is sacred" people can quibble about it all they want, but I have experienced everything from the loss of an embryo to the birth of healthy twins, and there are millions of miles and shades of gray in between.
Beautifully said.
So this is great. And now you've got me thinking. Each time we menstruate, should we be mourning the baby that we could have had?
Maritza,
I think you summed up how I feel about this post pretty well. I have always known I have a much more conservative viewpoint than Julie... but this post is so sad IMO.
I have one son, and so wanted another child. I had 6 embryos left and we used them all. I am so sad. And YES, I thought of those embies as my potential children and my son's potential siblings.
No, an embryo is not a child. But it is a potential child, and deserves an opportunity to live. :(
I know plenty of ladies who miscarried and absolutely view it as the loss of a child, not just of a pregnancy. And I know that many don't.
As Maritza pointed out, there are other sources of stem cells outside embryos. We CAN have the best of both worlds here.
Crystal
Funny how Mr. "all life is sacred" sped the way for people to the death chamber in Texas faster than any other state. And laughed at one woman who asked for clemency (and with good reason: she's dead now, too).
What a hypocrite.
I am so happy to see that science-avoiding, gut-making0decision-process, hypocritical, moronic, dumb@$$ take his stupid behind back to Texas. At last.
My sister has some embryos frozen over in Ireland. She hasn't decided what she wants to do with all seven of them.
It's YOUR choice.
SJ
I meant she asked for clemency with good reason: Karla Faye Tucker was working with at-risk youth inside prison walls, and making a difference. Nope, no clemency, Bush sent her straight to the execution chamber.
http://www.cnn.com/US/9801/20/tucker.appeal/
Just clarifying,
Jules