All is calm and improbably bright
Okay, so nothing makes my eyes glaze over faster than reading a post that explains in rococo detail why the blogger hasn't been posting. Wait, that's not true. Writing such a post does. That eye-glazing thing also happens when I'm lubricating the Christmas ham while half-lubricated myself, and, damn, does that sorghum burn. But that is neither here nor there, and this is not such a post. Consider it a summary.
Oh, I could tell you that I've been spending the last month doing something important, like caring for the elderly or working among the poor or converting the heathen or writing a book or, I know what! Relactating! But the truth is that I haven't been up to anything of great moment. More like small moment. Small good moment. We went to Louisiana. Charlie turned five. I made some stuff. Ben learned what to do when stopped by the po-po on suspicion of grand theft, necklace. I have been largely absent online, but entirely present off-.
It's been good, but really weird! I missed a lot. I missed that horrible Times piece on surrogacy, and a good thing, too, because I get all SFR'EOPQ4
just thinking about what I might have posted about it. I missed plugging my cameo appearance at Mommy Wants Vodka, where Aunt Becky kindly allowed me to rearrange the furniture and soil her nice fresh guest towels. I missed Michelle Duggar giving birth to a 25-weeker because of pre-eclampsia, and, I mean, damn, there'd be a lot to say about that if I hadn't been too wrapped up in that whole relactation thing.
And I've missed y'all. Thank you so much for checking in on me. I feel sheepish to have worried you, and I appreciate your concern. It's really kind. I'm eager to get back, and will resume posting as soon as we finish letting Charlie play with fire. I mean, sacrifice a perfectly good letter to Santa — never did nothin' to nobody — on the Satanic pyre that is my mid-'70s red brick brass-trimmed fireplace. You know, as soon as we've waded through Christmas.
I hoist my nog to you, and hope you and yours are well.