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07/19/2010
There's simply no way this could possibly go wrong
So, y'all, this morning at breakfast I made a gaffe. Not knowing that there's apparently this new housewide penis code in effect, I did as I always do when pouring drinks and gave Charlie the plastic cup was on the top of the stack. It happened to be purple. He lost no time in telling me in an aggrieved tone that purple is a girl color.
"No, it's not," I said in a cheerful tone, a drink-your-milk tone, a unisex tone.
"It is," he insisted, his face taking on a sulky look.
"No," I assured him. "Plenty of men love purple!" I said, looking to Paul for support. He and I each thought like mad, constructing an exhaustive list of conventionally manly men known to favor the color. I finished first. (It didn't take long.) "Actually," I said, "there's a legendary rock and roll musician" — that's how we talk around here, handling volatile terms like "rock and roll" gingerly lest the senses become inflamed — "whose favorite color is purple."
"Really?" Charlie said skeptically. (Now why would he doubt me?)
"Yep. He's world-famous for his guitar playing. He even has a purple guitar."
"Oh."
"Uh-huh. Pretty much everyone agrees that he's one of the most innovative musicians of our time. He's very widely admired. Men wish they could play like he can. Women think he's terrifically handsome. And his favorite color is purple. Sometimes he even performs in a long purple coat. So, you see, purple's a color guys like, too."
"Oh." Charlie thought about that for a minute. "Will you show me a picture of him later?"
"Sure," I said heartily.
...I hope I haven't made a mistake.
