I've finished quilting Elvis, and, man, is he pissed.
Years ago my sister-in-law gave me some Elvis Christmas fabric as a gift. This winter something — perhaps an abrupt descent into madness? — moved me to take it out and make it into a quilt at last. I alternated the various Elvis faces with disappearing nine-patch blocks in Christmas prints. When the piecing was complete, I thought, Huh. This looks better than it has any right to.
And then I quilted it.
I used an allover meander, since this was to be little more than a novelty quilt that would see a month's use every year. I didn't take into account, though, the sad fact that the stitching would run all over the sacred printed countenance of the King. By the time I realized it, it was too late to care (or, if the truth be told, I was too lazy to rip out the quilting I'd already done and start fresh).
So all over the quilt, Elvis looks a little...Frankensteinian.
I look at the King, reproduced in 18-plicate all over the quilt, and I lovingly murmur, as Homer Simpson once did to a prized football...
You will be called...Stitchface.